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How do I tell my mom?

AlenaJasmineAlenaJasmine
in Just Engaged and Proposals
My boyfriend of two and a half years and I were engaged about 2 and a half weeks ago. My fiancee called my father and asked him, but my mom happend to not be around at the time of his phone call. My mother and I haven't ever been close, so it is very difficult for us to share our feelings, but I know I can't go without telling her the news for long. And I don't want to hurt her feelings.  I just can't figure out a way to tell her without her breaking down and causing a big unneccessary emotional outburst... i know this is big news and I really don't want to be this way with her anymore. Does anyone have any helpful tips?
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Re: How do I tell my mom?

  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    First Comment
    Well I think I need to know more about your situation to give you any helpful advice.  Why do you think she would have an "unnecessary emotional outburst" over the news?  Is it because she won't approve?  Are you very young?  Does she dislike your fiance?  Either way you just need to tell her because it would probably upset her more to find out from someone else instead. 
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  • meganyanimeganyani member
    First Comment
    I am not close with my mom (we talk but not about personal lives) so I was nervous about telling her. I didn't want her crying or making some weird uncomfortable moment. So hey, i get you.

    My sister agreed to go to dinner with me and take my mom along so I could tell her in a semi-public place and she couldn't cause a scene (she is too modest to make a fuss in public). Perhaps you can do that? haha.
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  • misskrysbabymisskrysbaby
    First Comment
    I'm confused...if you and your mom aren't close, and don't really talk or share feelings to each other, why do you think she would have an emotional outburst or make a scene? If you truly aren't close, I would think she wouldn't have as much of an emotional outburst as you're worrying about. I would think emotions might play a factor in a mother-daughter relationship where the two are close, like best friends.

    I think I'm with Brilibby, I would need a bit more info to give advice...
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    My daughter has a friend who has a mother with whom she has a hit and miss relationship due to a divorce that left her with her father (mom took off with another man). As an adult, they are trying to come up with a relationship that works, but it's not going to be mommy/gushy.  She sent her mother a small nosegay type bouquet with a card with the big announcement.  Her mom works, so she sent it to her office.  This way she told her in a fun way and did not have to be there to do it.
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  • morganjammorganjam member
    First Comment
    why not have your fiance call her or meet with her and "ask for her approval"?  Say he wanted to personally tell her?
    Ever think you'd feel this way?
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  • staceytaylor0704staceytaylor0704
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Umm, so your dad knows because of the phone call, but didn't tell your mom because she wasn't around at the time of the phone call? Thats kinda weird. Seems like he would have mentioned it to her and she would at least be expecting it.
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  • RumsGoneRumsGone member
    First Comment
    I agree. Why didn't your father tell her about the fiance calling?
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