Losing it...(vent NWR)

volleygurl0306 · June 2012

The police department is KILLING me. FI took his polygraph over 2 weeks ago and still hasn't heard anything. Last week he asked his investigator if he needed to do anything else and HR responded saying everything was "under review." Still no word! They have been really quick with the other steps and gotten back to FI within 24-48 hours. FI has been applying to other things but those aren't panning out and this is his dream. His stress level is through the roof. He is moody and kinda depressed. Last night I even had trouble exciting him which has NEVER been an issue for us (sorry if TMI but it really made me realize how exhausting this is right now). I'm trying to be the optimist and the cheerleader (and breadwinner) but I'm starting to break. We need a second paycheck! We are racking up credit card debt and still living in my parents house (which is wearing on our relationship with my parents too) because we couldn't afford rent right now if we wanted. My brother's wedding is in 6 weeks and we haven't booked flights yet because it is $400 per person round trip and we just can't swing that until we know we have a check coming. Not to mention the bill for our own wedding in just 3 and a half months. I don't want to break down in front of FI because I know it'll just stress him that much more. I'm normally super open about my feelings with him but I just feel like I have to be there for him and not the other way around right now. Ugh just overwhelmed and had to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.

mamameech · June 2012

oh the waiting must be awful - i'm so sorry you are both under all this stress

Sarah&Eric2012 · June 2012

I hate to say this but being an employee of a police department (not a cop, just a civilian) I feel like Police departments are very slow in the hiring process. They have a ton of red tape that they have to get through and it takes quite a while. I just started last year and I remember wondering if I was ever going to hear from the Administrative Captain about the position.

I hope that your FI gets the job on the department. Do you know when the next police academy is? They may be holding off with the decision if it's not coming up really close. We just went through the annual recruitment process but we're holding off on 2nd interview because we don't have openings in our department and we don't want to get the recruits hopes up that they will be hired before the academy that starts next month.

Try to keep your chin up and vent here whenever you need to. We're here to listen anytime

volleygurl0306 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_losing-itvent-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ca392e3d-5473-49a5-a00f-c8614da54cebPost:a86eaffa-ae25-4913-8354-be5249a98c37">Re: Losing it...(vent NWR)</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate to say this but being an employee of a police department (not a cop, just a civilian) I feel like Police departments are very slow in the hiring process. They have a ton of red tape that they have to get through and it takes quite a while. I just started last year and I remember wondering if I was ever going to hear from the Administrative Captain about the position. I hope that your FI gets the job on the department. Do you know when the next police academy is? They may be holding off with the decision if it's not coming up really close. We just went through the annual recruitment process but we're holding off on 2nd interview because we don't have openings in our department and we don't want to get the recruits hopes up that they will be hired before the academy that starts next month. Try to keep your chin up and vent here whenever you need to. We're here to listen anytime :)
Posted by Sarah&Eric2012[/QUOTE]

We had heard it can be around an 8 week process (we are around 10 weeks right now) and FI found out the next academy starts July 9 so we figure he has to hear soon. So that is hopeful at least. And, my thought process was if he failed the poly they woulda told him "thanks, but no thanks" when he emailed last week and not that he was under review (could be wrong but it would seem pointless to lie). I keep thinking the call has to come soon but every day that it doesn't and especially on Fridays when we now have another weekend of no response it just sucks! And he knows there are still a few more steps (interview with the Captain, offer of employment, post-acceptance psych eval) so it feels like time is running out before the academy. He has made it through his first 2 interviews, oral boards, and first psych eval so it seemed to be going really well. Thanks for the insight too! And I soo appreciate the support!

mtnbrooke7 · June 2012

Aw...so sorry about the situation, that sounds really stressful!!! Especially with trying to live with the 'rents, yikes! Hopefully you'll hear something SOON. Just think, in a year from now this will all be a distant memory, and you'll probably have everything worked out one way or the other. Try to relax and just do what you can, this too shall pass!

sparent2010 · June 2012

Are they still waiting on references?

volleygurl0306 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_losing-itvent-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ca392e3d-5473-49a5-a00f-c8614da54cebPost:f3bcb56f-1c1d-4da0-ad25-736c642885b8">Re: Losing it...(vent NWR)</a>:
[QUOTE]Are they still waiting on references?
Posted by sparent2010[/QUOTE]

He provided references and as far as we know no one has even been contacted. We aren't sure if they are doing a background investigation or what. bleh!

volleygurl0306 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_losing-itvent-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ca392e3d-5473-49a5-a00f-c8614da54cebPost:cec4a7fe-ee30-4315-888b-f8ae24b3639c">Re: Losing it...(vent NWR)</a>:
[QUOTE]Aw...so sorry about the situation, that sounds really stressful!!! Especially with trying to live with the 'rents, yikes! Hopefully you'll hear something SOON. Just think, in a year from now this will all be a distant memory, and you'll probably have everything worked out one way or the other. Try to relax and just do what you can, this too shall pass!
Posted by mtnbrooke7[/QUOTE]

This is true! Thank you for the perspective.

QueerFemme · June 2012

Can he get any job in the interim? Even working at one of those places that hires day labor (like waving signs in front of the furniture store). I know in my area, those pay 10-15 dollars an hour. It's not a lot of money, but at least he wouldn't be sitting around at home stressing and waiting for a phone call, and in a week, you will have an extra 400-500 dollars. If he does get into the academy on July, he will have had a month of making some extra cash.

ErinW1912 · June 2012

I hear you. I cannot imagine being the bread winner and living with the parents.

My FI lives with his parents to help with the house and dogs-last winter his brother, sister in law, niece, and nephew all moved in to his parents house so that is craziness and stressful.

As pp said maybe he can get a temp job in the interm to help with the bills and take his mind off just waiting for a phone call.

That is what my freind did she went and worked as a temp office clerk for a company and after a month they offered her the job full time-she did not have to interview or anything.

Hang in there hopefully you will get a phone call soon. Being the cheerleader is hard especially when you are stressed out

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