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Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
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Involving a child

CarynandSantoCarynandSanto
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
  I have a 5 yr old daughter from a previous relationship that my fiance and I want to include in our ceremony. I've read about presenting her with a family pendant or something similar - but would love some more ideas.
   She is definitely the light in both our lives and she is super excited about the wedding.  We want to have a special part that marries our 'family', along with the two of us -- but am looking for some help.
   Ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated!
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Re: Involving a child

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    My answer from the same pst on the ceremony board:

    I'd have her as a FG and take a bunch of pictures with her before the ceremony, after the ceremony, and at the reception.  I'd have a "family dance" at the reception.  I'd give her a special gift at the RD.

    BUT.....the ceremony is for you and your FI.  A wedding ceremony is about making a husband and wife.  It's about two consenting adults making the decision to join their lives together.    A wedding ceremony is a completely VOLUNTARY commitment.

    Your DD is not old enough to make or truly understand the meaning of vows.  She also can't enter in this voluntarily.  She's your DD, and when you're married she'll also have a new step-dad.  But it's NOT her choice at all.

    I just think that wedding ceremonies are about, and should be reserved for adults.  There are plenty of lovely ways to involve your little girl at every step of way except for the ceremony.

    ETA:  Did you not see the post immediately below yours about involving children in a ceremony?  It's always a good idea to read other posts before you post the same question.

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    ditto trix 100%.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Yep, ditto trix. Trix is very wise.
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  • brideinsatbrideinsat member
    10 Comments
    My FI has 2 children 10 and 13. I also wanted to do a special vow or something extra to involve them. Our priest agrees with what everyone said above. This is our day and we need to have the focus on our marriage on that day. It's not about the attention, but about keeping the importance about what the day signifies. He will do a blessing over the family and we'll have them as flower girl and ring  bearer (I know they're old for these roles, but they asked for them so we're doing it).

    Good luck!
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