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MOH Speech

MaryCatherinePalumboMaryCatherinePalumbo
in Moms and Maids
I'm the MOH in my best friend's wedding. I've known her, the groom and their families for over half our lives. However, last week, the groom's brother, also best man, passed away. The wedding isn't for a few more months but I know for sure they aren't replacing him in the wedding party therefore I will be left to start the speeches. I was feeling the pressure before this tragedy but now I feel like it'll be the elephant in the room without him being there. Any ideas or thoughts on if I should bring him up lightly or what I should say at all? I really just want to start brainstorming and planning out possible scenarios so that even if it is brought up, it remains a happy occasion as much as it possibly can be! Thanks
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Re: MOH Speech

  • gananoquegananoque
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow. I am very sorry to hear about this incredibly sad loss.

    It does seem like no matter what, his presence will be deeply felt at this wedding. It can still be a joyous occasion, however. I fully agree you should speak to your friend and check in with the B&G about how they're feeling. Unless they are adamant for some reason that he not be mentioned, I think it is appropriate for you to bring up the fact that he is missed during this special time. You don't have to devote your entire speech to this. A mention early on, and then continue with the happiness and celebration.
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  • hvansadershvansaders
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would check with the bride and groom and the families.  You dont want to recreate the feeling of a funeral.  If they are ok with mentioning him,  I would keep it short and sweet, maybe even make it kind of light hearted.  Maybe something like "I really wih the BM was here today to take some of the pressure off of me, but I know you are here in spirit BM"  Then continue on with whatever speech you were planning to do. 

    Sorry for your loss and good luck. 

    Also you know that if you arent comfortable doing a speech, you dont have to.  I think if no speeches were done there wouldnt be the feeling of the elephant in the room.  It used to be that just the BM did the speech, not the MOH too. 
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  • sister2groomsister2groom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp that you should ask the couple in a few weeks, and I also like the idea of running by them exactly what you want to say.  I might ask the bride and have her check in with the groom, in case he isn't up to talking with you about it, but play that part by ear. IF you did say something maybe it could be something like "I'm sure Brother would love to join me in offering his best wishes to you both."
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  • saric83saric83 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would wait until the wedding gets closer and talk with the B&G about how the speeches will go.  You might not have to be the one to kick it off or anything. 
    Depending on if their DJ, parents or even if they themselves want to say something, you might not have to be the first and while they probably won't replace the BM, they may ask another family member, pastor or friend to do a speech on behalf of the groom's side.  But either way, unless you knew the BM, I probably wouldn't specifically mention him.  Good luck and sorry to hear about that!! : (
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