I thought I was lucky

TL25 · January 2013

I've read countless vents and complaints about bridal party members and was happy I didn't have any... Well my MOH has started with her sh*t lol. I'm gonna try and sum this story up. Around Wednesday she asks which friends of mine are attending the wedding and if they will also be attending bridal shower and bachlorette party. I give her some names and she seems uneasy but I don't pay her any mind. We planned to go to a bridal show Sunday so she asked if I could ask my friend who she doesn't get along with to come along because she wants to be around her before the bach party so its not so weird when the time comes. Cool I invite the friend and explain to her what's going on she said she was down and she would never start no ish at my event and she said she didn't even have an issue with MOH. Friday rolls around I get a call from BM, oh MOH isn't coming Sun because she doesn't want anything to do with my friend. I call her and she confirms and explains to me a little more in detail exactly what her issues are. Sounds like some teenage pettiness to me but to her it's a big deal so I respect that. She apologized and said she no longer wants to host bachlorette party nor attend because of two of my friends that we went to school with (the one above and another). Keep in mind we graduated hs in '05 the other friend left our high school in like 10th grade to go to a different school, so we're talking bs that is 7.5-9.5 years old! MOH feels like she can't be a host because it will be weird for her and she doesn't want to bring any drama. She apolagized to me and insists that she will still buy all of the decorations, send out the invites, purchase the food and plan that night's events but she refuses to participate. I told her I don't care about no stupid decor we can sit in quiet and stare at each other and I would be happy because I got my girls. Still, she was adamant and not budging. I was hot at first but that's my best friend and I love her to pieces. I know that she is having family trouble and just doesn't need anyone else giving her drama so that's probably why she's blowing this out of proportion. FI thinks I should kick her out the party or at least not have her be MOH anymore because she losing focus of these events not being about her and her drama its about me and being there for me. I'm not going that far. I feel like she'll come to her senses and will be there. BTW the bridal show was a lot of fun friend did come and so did BM we had a ball!

nursing2u · January 2013

Welcome to the club!!!!!

Sorry you are going through it, and hopefully she will come around... But it's good that you are not letting it get to you..

Just keep smiling

fancywright2 · January 2013

Oh no. It'll all work out. I agree with Nursing, just keep smiling. It's your day!

rowenac82 · January 2013

How is she going to ask you to invite the friend then cancel on you cause the friend is going...smh! I mean, there could have been less drama in the first place if you didn't invite the friend. Now the friend knows she has a problem with her...smh. Hopefully she does come around and yes, sometimes it is more involved than you think. Definitely pray on this. In the end, she will realize how this is making you feel and hopefully figure out how to put her feelings aside for a few weeks.

ladycane015 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_i-thought-i-was-lucky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:58ddea27-6d4e-4bf0-a295-67a3a0fc6d85Post:9966afa1-9e18-4126-bb29-aac8b102bcac">Re: I thought I was lucky</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>How is she going to ask you to invite the friend then cancel on you cause the friend is going...smh! I mean, there could have been less drama in the first place if you didn't invite the friend. Now the friend knows she has a problem with her...smh. Hopefully she does come around and yes, sometimes it is more involved than you think. Definitely pray on this. In the end, she will realize how this is making you feel and hopefully figure out how to put her feelings aside for a few weeks.</strong>
Posted by rowenac82[/QUOTE]

all of this!!! It'll work out & I hope she comes around & realizes that this is supposed to be something special for YOU!! My MOH doesnt like one of my guests as well but she's gonna just go with the flow. They dont have to become bffs! I'm sure she can stand to be in the same space as her for a day. They dont even have to really talk

MrsBad13 · January 2013

I agree with pp. So sorry you have to deal with the nonsense of the BMs. Hopefully she will come around and let it go.

leatba · January 2013

I pray that everything will work out. What is it about weddings that brings out the worse in people?

nbrown501 · January 2013

That is crazy, if she was really your friend she should be able to set aside HER differences with whoever else and help make your day the best as possible. Thats what Grown Women do, I hope! Im sorry your going through that. FI might be right, if she cant handle the other ladies thats close to you being around then she might want to hand the baton over to someone else.

TL25 · January 2013

Yea ladies I'll definitely pray on it! I just don't wanna make her feel any worse then I'm sure she does so I'll leave her alone about it. She's been to all my big events so it'll be weird with her not being there.

aquari0216 · January 2013

I went to one too the other day at my venue....and one a couple weeks ago...this latest one was the bomb!! Im so sorry youre going through this and you and I the same or around the same age....if your MOH is too she needs to grow up...she honestly doesnt have to deal with ole girl and its upsetting that she would compromise you due to some BS! If u have faith she'll come thru I hope she doesnt let u down

[Deleted User] · January 2013

While I get what you're saying about how long ago it was and how petty it seems, for some time may not always heal (clearly, if she's marinating something from 9 years ago). I'll admit that wanting to do a pre-smoothation but being a no show for is weird, but only if you don't know her personality. Couldn't pick her out of a line up and even I know this girl is a nonconfrontationalist. She don't wanna face them and that's her prerogatives. About not coming through for you though, I'd have to disagree with any of those assessments because she could've said, I love you but i'm all the way out. Instead she said I will still pay and bring and do, I just can't see them. Now you, ms. neeshy are to be applauded for your compassion and understanding and respecting her position even if you don't agree with it. That's incredibly mature considering that nobody needs da hell to be surprised with 10 damn weeks left so the fact that each of you can support the other's perspective despite your feelings? pretty awesome

btw, this: :

I told her I don't care about no stupid decor we can sit in quiet and stare at each other and I would be happy because I got my girls

LURVE.

TL25 · January 2013

Yea Aquari she's 26 I'm 25
Thanks Bongi! You always know the right things to say

I thought I was lucky

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