Spouse to be

Re: Spouse to be

• Lisa50 member

  

  November 2012

  Congratulations on your engagement!  Take come time to breathe and relax. 
  
  How can we have what we want on a budget?  First, the two of you need to determine (and agree upon) your total budget.  Part of that discussion should include agreement on which line items you're willing to go over in budget, and by what percent, if that's up for consideration.
  
  How soon should we start planning?  See above.  Then, determine the kind of ceremony you both want.  Religious?  Secular?  If the type of ceremony drives a specific kind of location, then use that info in your planning.  Take time, though, to visualize the whole day -- what you want it to feel like, who you want there, etc.
  
  We plan to get married 7/27/13, and we live in New Orleans. If you're locked into your date, then that will likely drive your choice of venues.
  
  What kind of dress should I wear and so on. Dont know where to start? See above ... "Take time to visualize the day ..."  that will drive a lot of your decisions. We certainly can't tell you what kind of dress to wear. That's a very personal choice.

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• Avion22 member

  

  November 2012

  Budget -- There are lots of ways to stick to a budget.  The first thing to do is DECIDE ON A BUDGET.  List all of the things that are important to you, and all of the things you can skip. For example, it was really important to us to have a one-stop-shop venue because we were planning the wedding from abroad.   We didn't care as much about specific flowers, and we both hate cake, so we skipped cake entirely and gave our florist free reign within the budget we gave him.  Remember that guest-list and budget go hand-in-hand.  More guests means you'll have to stretch your budget to accomodate that many. Fewer guests cost less.

  
  

  How soon to start planning?  Now.  Especially if you are set on that date.  Some venues book up a year in advance.  A Saturday in July is might be hard to book.   If you're open on venues, then it may not be a big deal.  Historical homes, parks, galleries, museums, vineyards, botanical gardens, etc all make awesome venues.

  
  

  What kind of dress to wear?   Second-time brides can wear any kind of dress they want.  Obviously you'll want to match the formality of the dress to the formality of the wedding.  A full ballgown might not be the best choice for a garden wedding.   But you should find something that you feel amazing in and that fits your budget.  White/ivory are fine, or you go non-traditional if it suits you.

  

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• MikesAngie member

  

  November 2012 edited November 2012

  Congatulations on your engagement and welcome to the board!

  
  

  Budget: setting a budget that is within your means isn't always easy, but it can be done.  My DH and I talked about what each of us could afford to contribute and how much we thought was reasonable for the style of wedding we wanted.  I'm a creative person so that made it easy for us to have the items we wanted and to keep them in or under budget. 

  Items that impact budget:

  Rings (are they or aren't they part of the budget - ours weren't)

  Save the Dates 

  Invitations and stamps

  Type of Reception 

  Luncheon

  Buffet

  Seated Dinner 

  Appetitizer Buffet 

  Passed Appetitizers (these were less expensive as we paid per piece)

  Open Wine bottles per table 

  Served Wine 

  (this option ends up being less as you only pay for what was opened)

  Type of Dessert

  Music if Any

  Centerpieces if any

  Favors if any

  Guest book

  Other reception decor

  Wedding gown

  Bridal foundations

  Gifts for Attendents

  Any additional keepsake ceremony items

  Sand ceremony

  Unity Candle

  Wine ceremony

  Love letter ceremony

  Shoes

  Tux or Suit 

  Flowers

  Bridal Hair

  Bridal Make-up

  Honeymoon

  I attempted to make this list comprehensive but it's suggestions and  you don't have to do any of it or you can do it all.  As most people planning a wedding for a second time one tends to pick and choose what is important and what isn't and go from there.

  
  

  Planning: start as soon as you know your budget.  Venues usually require a deposit to hold your day.  

  
  

  What to wear: whatever makes you feel wonderful and beautiful.

  
  

  To determine your type of day visualize the look and feel of the day, and what memories you want to take away from it. 

  
  

  HTH

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  November 2012

  Welcome to this board! The ladies here are really helpful and wise.
  
  A few things about the Knot: There are local wedding boards (see list of various boards to the left). Find the local board nearest your wedding area, which may be different from where you live. The local board's brides are always really helpful with information on venues and local vendors, as well as what may be traditional in a particular geographical area.
  
  How can we have what we want on a budget?
  
  The cost of weddings has possibly gone up since you had your last one. It is an entire industry machine now, and finding the most budget friendly options can be hard. Your local board can help with this. If you are able to do DIY stuff (decor, flowers) there is a DIY board, also a Budget Wedding board. You can also forego a lot of what the industry tells you need, like ceremony programs, favors, etc.
  
  My husband and I planned the wedding we could afford over 18 months. The longer your planning time is, the better you can budget for what you want. The answers above are really good about first deciding on your budget between the 2 of you.
  
  In most cases (not all), the reception itself with food and alcohol (if you are having it) costs anywhere between 60-75% of the budget allocation. Some brides are "foodies" and put aside a larger portion of their budget for the reception.........some have "dream dresses" that cost 20% of the budget, or want to have a particular photographer, who costs $2000 for the day. Decide first where the majority of your budget will be spent, then plan accordingly.
  
  Retailers like Sam's Club and Costco have floral wedding packages you can order online. We had the 20 piece white rose wedding package from Costco for $399. That was all the bouquets for me and my 3 attendants, plus 6 corsages, 6 bouts for the guys, and a couple of centerpieces. If you have a Costco membership, you can check at the local store's customer service desk for the name of the florist who does the floral bouquets for the kiosk in the store. I did this and got her name and directly ordered 80 stems of white Asiatic lillies, 96 long stemmed white vendella roses and 2 large bunches of baby's breath for $187. I picked them up the Wednesday before our wedding in person at Costco. I made all 10 of the centerpieces for our wedding with these flowers. There are many online or other retailers that sell flowers. If you or a family member is handy, it's a great way to save money.
  
  How soon should we start planning? We plan to get married 7/27/13, and we live in New Orleans
  
  If you are insistent on this date, as said above, finding it may be difficult with the amount of time you have to secure a venue and plan everything before then. Introduce yourself to the New Orleans brides on the local board (if you are getting married there) and ask them for help. Once you've decided on your budget, post a topic/headline like "Need to find (describe, ie vintage, rustic, etc) reception venue for $30 per person", or something like that. You'll get responses from brides in the area who are planning, or have held, a wedding in that area. Some boards are really active, some not. Just keep checking back for responses.
  
  There are roughly two different thoughts on wedding venues: one would be "all inclusive", where the hall/venue provides everything: building, chairs, tables, food, alcohol & staffing for the event. These were probably more typical when you married before.
  
  Now brides are finding "different" or "unique" venues that are a bare bones building, or a venue that only supplies the building with some also providing the chairs & tables, but you bring in your own caterer, alcohol, etc. We went this route in our area. It was initially because I thought it would be cheaper (oy, all inclusive venues added up to over $50 per person or more!). In the end, it was about the same price, but only because we had a Saturday evening event with really really great food from a local caterer (I'm a foodie, LOL). We saved a lot on the alcohol however because we could bring our own in.
  
  Best ways to save money: have your event at a "non-meal time". Meal time is generally early noon or evening event after 5 pm. Some brides think having "heavy appetizers" is cheaper than a buffet or plated meal, but it is not. It takes people and time to put together all those appetizers, and you would need to have at least 10-15 heavy appetizers at a meal time for each person.
  
  The other way to keep costs down is limiting your guest list. This is actually one of the best ways, but not easy. You want to share your special day with family & friends, but every person you invite costs you $X. Some people only invite the adults, not the kids. We planned on 50 people each, and ended up with a total of 73. It will depend on your family size and friends. I invited my only surviving aunt, and my first cousins. Did not invite my first cousin's kids (who are now all adults, LOL). I invited more friends than my husband, because I'm an only child, but he has 3 siblings, and they all have kids.  Plus, like many adult women, I had more friends I stayed in touch with than he did.
  
  Dress: Wear what expresses you. It can be a full blown ball gown, something more like a bridesmaid dress (in white or any other color). Some second time brides have found success by looking into "Destination Wedding Dresses", which are for brides planning small events away from home. These types of dresses are less poofy, and fit the mold well. But if you want big & poofy, then go for it! A lot depends on what the vision for your wedding is after talking to your fiance.
  
  Places to look for dresses: If you want something white/bridal, check local bridal salons and find out when they have their "sample sales". You can buy sample dresses that are not in bad shape for $100-$300. If you want something vintage-y, check local resale stores. However, if you do want something from a bridal salon that is not a sample dress, it can take up to 3- 6 months for a dress to come in, then you have to allow time for alterations.
  
  If you are not looking into bridal style, the major retailers like Lord & Taylor, Macy's, Nordstrom's, Saks Fifth Avenue, Penney's all have lovely evening attire. After the holidays will be the best time to look. I find shopping online from major retailers the easiest way to shop, because if you don't like something you've purchased online it can be returned to the local store for credit.
  
  Good luck with your plans. Please share them when you make your decisions. We love hearing about weddings.

  Wedding Website and Bio

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