Bridal shower host

JBSMADA10 · March 2013

Let's throw the etiquette book out on this one. Who is throwing your bridal shower? Is it a friend, bridesmaid, parent or your future in laws?

AJuliaNJ · March 2013

My mom and MOH are throwing my hometown shower.

My FMIL and FSIL are throwing my shower in FI's hometown (where we live now).

I read somewhere that it is bad etiquette for a mom to host a shower, but I couldn't imagine a friend having to spend all that money.

MairePoppy · March 2013

My mother threw (paid for and planned) my daughter's shower. The bms acted as hostesses at the party. If my mom hadn't offered, I would have done it. It is typical, around here, for the MOB, MOG or other close family member to host showers. Like AdreaJulia says, we don't expect friends or bms to host our family members.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

I threw my sister's shower. Our aunts got the venue and decorated, I provided food and entertainment. I never stopped to think what other people would think about me hosting. I wanted my sister to have a nice shower so I made sure she did at my expense. My Mom and sister are throwing mine. Whatever they do will be wonderful.

JBSMADA10 · March 2013

I had to make this post for my Mother to see that this is the norm now. Mothers hosting/ family hosting.

AJuliaNJ · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:42e27ec2-8a18-4a61-ba34-5788a61ac591Post:09fb0a08-89fe-410c-90ca-49c032a8f65a">Re: Bridal shower host</a>:
[QUOTE]I had to make this post for my Mother to see that this is the norm now. Mothers hosting/ family hosting.
Posted by JBSMADA10[/QUOTE]

<div>It's ok if she offers, but it's not required. If you are trying to convince her to host a shower if she hasn't offered, that isn't the norm.</div>

vanityink · March 2013

My bridesmaids threw mine. Still not kosher for moms to throw showers in our circles.

melb2013 · March 2013

I dislike showers, so I declined all offers but my man of honor and FSIL offered to throw one.

dem068 · March 2013

My mom is throwing mine, and my aunt and MOH is helping her plan it (but my mom is paying for it). I am the only girl in a line of boys, and my mom would be appaled if she "couldn't" throw the shower, because some people thing it is against the rules.
Also the norm in my area is for the mom/family to throw the shower, every one I have been to was thrown by the MOB. My FMIL and FSIL also offered to throw one for me.

nycrose2013 · March 2013

My mom is hosting mine, along with my sister and my bridesmaids are helping out. That's how it has been traditionally been done in my circle, presumably b/c people get married fairly young (although I am 25) and the bridesmaids don't have homes or money to throw the shower the mother of the bride would want. So the MOB throws a lovely party, and bridesmaids help however they can and everyone is happy.

I never understood the no-family-hosts rule, because it's not like my mom is going to come over and share my blender with me. She really isn't benefitting from my gifts in any rational way

nycrose2013 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:42e27ec2-8a18-4a61-ba34-5788a61ac591Post:0c80bdff-1bb7-4f9f-9a35-80ec1223da67">Re: Bridal shower host</a>:
[QUOTE]nycrose, the rule prevented a family member from soliciting gifts on behalf of another family member, which really is rude....."I want you to buy my daughter presents." It's also understood that it's the family's responsibility to set up their children for marriage.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

that's all well and good, and I get it. I just don't think many people think that way anymore and it is on its way out. How is it really any different when a bridesmaid throws the party? "I want you to buy my best friend presents." Its still one person soliciting gifts for another person. Also parents throw birthday parties for their children, are those rude too?

Again, I understand why the rule came about, I just think it is particularly silly.

Kate61487 · March 2013

Two aunts hosted my one shower and my MIL hosted the other.

The rule I was aware of wasn't that NO close family could host the shower it was just that it was inappropriate for MOB; sisters and aunts were normal options (in my experience). Back in the day presumably a good shower 'haul' would potentially reduce the dowry so that's pretty tacky. Today I wouldn't judge a MOB hosting a shower, but I don't know that I'd be comfortable doing it for my own daughter (we'll see how I feel about it in 20 years, haha) and I will gladly step up as an aunt / sister / BM

NYCMercedes · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:42e27ec2-8a18-4a61-ba34-5788a61ac591Post:173b0cce-06a6-40bf-8ba2-6d4c13c9598d">Re: Bridal shower host</a>:
[QUOTE]My bridesmaids threw mine. Still not kosher for moms to throw showers in our circles.
Posted by jessicadall[/QUOTE]

This, exactly.

JBSMADA10 · March 2013

Thanks ladies for posting. My mother has decided to cohost with my FMIL and the BM's have said they are going to help. They are connected in various ways, one of my bridesmaids works for Michael's so we'll be able to use some family discount there. My big thing is I told my MOH and My mom I want rustic vintage, lots of white, Bellini's and fondue. I know they are supposed to plan everything, but is it okay for me to just politely give my opinion of what I want. They can choose to scrap it or run with it. I honestly don't won't give a tantrum or pout if it doesn't happen this way.

I will just be happy to have a bridal shower.

Bridal shower host

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