this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

How does this happen? Link inside.

ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/50920662.aspx

How does a couple have this unequal a distribution of labor, with the slave-like one getting all the way to marriage and kids without exploding?
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: How does this happen? Link inside.

  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    it's also interesting that she continues to perpetuate this unequal and unfair division by saying that she should have also argued in a way that was more fair to him.

    image
    Report Reply
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    "If you didn't want to be a wife or a mother, then you shouldn't have been".

    ^^That??
    That would have made me physically violent.

    As it is I would have spat back, "If you aren't going to be a man you might as well cut your dck off"
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yeah.  And she calls him doing something other than sitting and eating bonbons "helping out".
    image
    Report Reply
  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Hmmmm...
    While our duties are split up as equally as we can, I do still have to ask DH to help out on the things that aren't clearly defined.   I don't have to tell him to take out the trash (usually) or rinse the dishes, but if I need help getting the kid ready to go or anything else that isn't really a "routine" then I have to ASK hiim for help.   Yes, it's annoying that I have to even ask, but he is not a mind reader and it is just simply not in his nature to catch on to the fact that I might need help with something.   He assumes that I'm a perfectly capable and intelligent human being that will ask for help when I need it.   I know all this (and knew this going into the marriage) I don't feel I have a right to get mad about him not helping out if I don't ask.   Yeah - sometimes it ticks me off, and doesn't seem fair, but this is our setup.
    So what I'm saying is that I don't necessarily disagree with the OP for blaming herself for not speaking up - - but I do think she is a doormat and he is an asshole based on her description of the situation.

    �
    Report Reply
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    After that comment, yes, he's an asshole.

    But. 

    Up until that, all I could think was, "Why don't you USE YOUR WORDS?" She refuses to open her mouth and ask for help, and then stews about how he's not helping her? No wonder they were in counseling. If you need something, ASK FOR IT. Your husband's not a mind reader, and if you're not telling him you're overwhelmed, he may honestly not "see everything that needs to be done". 

    She's just as much an idiot as he's an ass. MFEO, apparently.

    Also, why is she doing her kid's homework?
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards