Ok so a little background....my stepdaughters(technically but I just consider them my daughters) I have been in their life since they were 3 an 5 years old. They don't have a good relationship with their mother, the oldest has no relationship and the youngest has a little bit of one. She text her and sees her maybe 2-3 times a year even though she lives close. Well my youngest girl is getting married in July and her dad and I are paying for all of it. We have had a great time planning together and my daughter has involved myself and my mom in everything(she's very close to her grandma). Her biological mother has been asked to go pick out her dress, go pick out bridesmaids dresses but she has choosen not to. She only wants to be involved when it makes her look good to others. Anyway my sister and my cousin are hosting a shower for my daughter and I'm not sure if we should invite the mother. I know according to etiquette we should but she is only nice to me if she has to be. She has called me names which is one reason my girls moved out of her house and in with us. I'm at a lose here. My daughter is one that doesn't like confrontation and hates hurting people's feelings.
My other vent is I'm afraid the mother will try and "take over" during the actual wedding and have me left out. The day is about our daughter but she's the kind that tries to make it about her and pretend to be the perfect mom.
Any advice on whether we should invite her and not to get my feelings hurt during the wedding.