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Bridesmaid Dilemma!

pitmanapitmana
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I have a possible bridesmaid that I have known since 2nd grade but she is very outspoken! Our friendship is in good terms but one minute she can be in a great mood and then the next minute something could set her off. She has already made comments about certain shops and how she doesn't like what dresses they have in stock (even though she hasn't gone BM dress shopping) and one of those shops she doesn't like, I have found the most BM dresses that I like. I don't want to have on my mind constantly that I will have to worry about her attitude and how she handles situtations. I also feel like I am obligated to have her since her boyfriend (my future brother in-law) is the best man and their daughter is our flower girl. I have another possible bridesmaid but our friendship is freshly growing and I know that I won't have any issues with her. Please any advice would be great!
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Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma!

  • CallaLily25CallaLily25 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    1. Wait until about 6 months before your wedding to ask your bridesmaids.
    2. See who you're closest with at the time and ask those ladies (or guys!).

    Also, never feel obligated to have someone up there...that is just asking for problems/drama. Choose who you feel closest with and who you feel supports and loves you (and who you support and love).

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You should have no doubts about who you choose. If you have to think about it much, you're doing it wrong. Our wedding party consisted of people we would call at 3 a.m. if we needed to hide a body. Don't ask people out of obligation.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • vanityinkvanityink member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    How old is the flowergirl? My FSIL (FI's Brother's wife) isn't a bridesmaid, but she is in the wedding walking with her daughter (since FG is only 3) It's making her daughter feel much more comfortable and should help keep FG from wandering off halfway down the aisle...

    Other than that, I agree with the PPs
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
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  • pitmanapitmana
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dilemma-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:afc952b0-c48a-49b3-bdea-213158e14defPost:a71c5712-3838-4d6a-bf65-f4f58334c255">Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma!</a>:
    [QUOTE]How old is the flowergirl? Posted by jessicadall[/QUOTE]

    The flower girl and ring bearer are both going to be 6 by the time we have our wedding in October.
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  • pitmanapitmana
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dilemma-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:afc952b0-c48a-49b3-bdea-213158e14defPost:2ff70106-0f38-4cdc-b5e7-f369977a8807">Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You aren't "obligated" to ask anyone. If  you do ask her.... 1. Don't share your plans with her. You won't unwanted opinions. 2. She SHOULD have some say in the bridesmaid dress. She has to wear it and pay for it. 3. You  know what she's like. She won't change just because it's your wedding. What's stopping you from asking BOTH ladies???
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I agree she should have a say in what dress any BM wears. I just want everyone to be comfortable, they are going to have the dress afterwards. The place where I found my dress has the exact same designer than at the other boutique that she doesn't like and (not to sound rude) but they are by far cheaper, since I am paying for the dresses.

    I have thought about asking both but my fiance and I like to have even sides and I don't think he is that close to anyone else to put him in the position to ask.
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  • pitmanapitmana
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dilemma-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:afc952b0-c48a-49b3-bdea-213158e14defPost:f8cc954c-8e6a-4d11-b99c-11e6741f7a04">Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So you are excluding your good friend because of a number? That's more important than your FRIEND? When you look at your wedding album in twenty years, will you see the loving faces of friends? Or count heads to see how many folks are in the photo, and calculate bride vs groom ratios? You won't see your friend in those photos. How will that make you feel, knowing that you didn't have her just because she was an odd number? Will you feel like YOU were a good friend to HER?
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    The grooms side has one more person than my side, that's why I'm trying to figure my last BM. When I look back on everything; the trying on dresses, bridal showers, bachelorette party, the wedding, I want everything to go smoothly (I'm not a confrontational person). You have got me thinking that maybe it's not her maybe it's me and how I analyze things. I appreciate your advice very much!
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