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What are the Rules?

eehalliereehallier member
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
my fiance and I live in Oregon, his family lives in California, and my family lives in Kansas.

The wedding is in Kansas.  How do we go about having a gift registry or not having a gift registry without insulting people?  Honestly, money or gift cards is what we really need and is easiest to transport, but we don't know how to say that without sounding rude.  If we do create a registry, do we just tell them to ship the gifts straight to our Oregon address or ask them to fly with it to Kansas and then us pay to ship it?

CONFUSION!!!  Thanks!
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Re: What are the Rules?

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    HeatherR45HeatherR45 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    How many people actually bring gifts to weddings nowadays? I know most people just give cash because it's easier. Maybe you could have a small registry for people who want to give an actual gift and others will just give you money.
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    WiscisblissWiscisbliss
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_rules?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:389502ba-b698-4cbc-a5b2-b288566dcc38Post:ab9cbe79-06b4-408f-ba25-b377c9cb9251">What are the Rules?</a>:
    [QUOTE]my fiance and I live in Oregon, his family lives in California, and my family lives in Kansas. The wedding is in Kansas.  How do we go about having a gift registry or not having a gift registry without insulting people?  Honestly, money or gift cards is what we really need and is easiest to transport, but we don't know how to say that without sounding rude.  <strong>If we do create a registry, do we just tell them to ship the gifts straight to our Oregon address or ask them to fly with it to Kansas and then us pay to ship it?</strong> CONFUSION!!!  Thanks!
    Posted by eehallier[/QUOTE]

    <div>Most people had to travel to our wedding, they used our registry and shipped the gifts to the address we listed.  If you have gifts shipped to your Oregon address be sure that the gifts will be safe while you are out of town (like have a neighbor pick them up for you).  </div>
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    meganb1977meganb1977 member
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    If people are traveling it will likely be more convenient for them to either ship a gift to you beforehand or just bring check/cash or gift card.  It can be suggested by word of mouth that you are saving for X or you would appreciate a gift card to purchase a favorite registry item.
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    MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Most people will ship gifts to the address you list on the registry. I don't know many people who want to lug a wedding gift with them, especially long distance.

    Please do not make a direct request for cash or gift cards. It is not appropriate to ask for cash gifts. People already know that cash is a great gift. Do a small registry and people will get the hint that cash is appreciated. 


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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_rules?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:389502ba-b698-4cbc-a5b2-b288566dcc38Post:c1b65bef-2465-4d35-9afa-13c2dcf2dfee">Re: What are the Rules?</a>:
    [QUOTE]How many people actually bring gifts to weddings nowadays? [/QUOTE]

    Actually, around here, most people do.  At my sister's wedding, probably 3/4 of the gifts they got were brought to the wedding. They didn't get much cash at all.  Only a few were shipped to the designated address.  It took our family 2 SUVs and one sedan to bring all the gifts home from the reception.  So yeah, they're SUPPOSED to ship them, but that doesn't mean they will.  I think it's best to plan on shipping them yourself, if you get them.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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    One idea could be to go with a store that has locations both in Oregon and Kanas.  That way if you do get wedding gifts at the wedding, you can return them in store, get store credit, and rebuy the same things in Oregon!
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    skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    First Comment
    When you register, try to pick stores that are available in all 3 locations and/or offer online shopping options.  Also check to see if guests can have gifts shipped to your Oregon home address.  Some may allow you to indicate that you prefer gifts shipped to your home address.

    I honestly have no idea how many gifts were taken to DS's wedding, I don't think very many.  DD had 180+ attend, probably 25 gifts and 25 cards with either gift cards, checks or even cash in them.  They opened everything the next day, DSIL used his iphone to deposit the checks as they opened them, they were going out of the country for 2 weeks for their honeymoon and didn't want them sitting around until they got back.

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