We are having a casual reception outside. My FMIL is paying for food, we are paying for everything else (decorations, chairs, tables, etc). She has taken it upon herself to go to a florist and pick out flowers (I never asked, in fact we had the discussion that flowers was something I was paying for) for different decorations (not centerpieces). She is being very vague about what she ordered and I have a feeling it is not going to go with the flowers in my centerpieces. Flowers I am not so worried about. Last week, she showed up at my house with a box full of favors she found online (we already have 200 favors made up of our favorite candy that my mom spent a lot of time on) and wants to use her favors as "extra things for special people". She knew that we already had favors, as she was part of the discussion with my mom and myself. I don't want "extra things for special people", I want my candy that was already made.
In the last month or so, she has showed up with all these extra things that we never asked for. I understand she wants to help, but it is turning our reception into something we never wanted (we wanted casual, she is turning it formal). We are basically having a BBQ and now she has purchased crystal ice buckets, linens to use on "special tables" (when others will have plastic covers), and many other things that she picked out.
I appreciate that she is helping out, but this has turned out to be a horrible experience for us. We are to the point that we are considering saying forget the reception due to all the stress. When I try to tell her that I don't want something because I want to keep the event simple, she freaks out and yells at me. Then she will call my FI and badmouth me. I can't take it anymore. He talks to her and tells her to knock it off, but it never ends. I don't know what to do anymore.