Girlfriend of (10yrs) to brides father

zacsmom3386 · February 2012

Help! I have made sure my dress is appropriate, I have asked both mothers to approve the dress. I have lived with the father of the bride for 10yrs. The bride has basically told me to leave after the cermony during the family pictures to take care of her dogs! I am allowed to come to thre reception, but I have no idea if she is going to seat me with her father or allow me to walk in with him during the introductions. I am really hurt. I have taken care of her for 10 yrs and helped her through most of her teen yrs. Is there a way to tell her how I feel or shoudl I just keep my mouth shut?

zitiqueen · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_girlfriend-of-10yrs-to-brides-father?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:8a040873-dcf8-4e6f-bbd3-301150d3c9d3Post:37730e8a-55ef-4a3c-91c4-458232bcb324">Girlfriend of (10yrs) to brides father</a>:
[QUOTE]Help! I have made sure my dress is appropriate, I have asked both mothers to approve the dress. I have lived with the father of the bride for 10yrs. The bride has basically told me to leave after the cermony during the family pictures to take care of her dogs! I am allowed to come to thre reception, but I have no idea if she is going to seat me with her father or allow me to walk in with him during the introductions. I am really hurt. I have taken care of her for 10 yrs and helped her through most of her teen yrs. Is there a way to tell her how I feel or shoudl I just keep my mouth shut?
Posted by zacsmom3386[/QUOTE]

Her father is the one who needs to talk to her about her shabby treatment of you.

Maggie0829 · February 2012

What Ziti said...

jemmini6 · February 2012

Ditto, your BF should be talking to his daughter about this.

MairePoppy · February 2012

Your boyfriend should tell his daughter that the two of you are a social unit and should be treated as such. He can let her know that you are both confused by her behaviour.

Simply Fated · February 2012

Your boyfriend should step in and let his daughter know that you both expect to be treated like the social unit that you are.
The dog thing I think you could take care of, depending on your relationship with her. I'm not saying you should walk them, I'm saying you might be able to suggest she get someone else to do that. "Thank you for asking me to walk your dogs, but you'll have to find someone else." Or some other better wording. If you aren't very close or you feel uncomfortable turning her down, then your bf should say something.

ootmother2 · February 2012

IMO, the brat should be locked in her room until she learns some respect for others.

I'm such a hardass

nlindsay17 · February 2012

I am so sorry that you are being treated this way. You really need to talk to your BF about this and let him know how you feel. I hope he talks to her and lets her know he expects you to be treated with respect. You should have her get another walker and let her know you are not going to jump into her pictures. She does not need to send you on a lame errand. Best of luck!

Muffin'sMom · February 2012

Dad needs to settle all of this with his daughter. If he gives in and throws you under the bus, that says something about your relationship. The fact that you are a girlfriend after 10 years may be part of the issue. Many people, apparently including the bride, do not consider girlfriends as family that would be included in photos. It depends on how formal they are. The daughter may also be getting some pressure from her mom.

notyetavet · February 2012

I think that anyone who put up with me as a teenager deserves a medal. Has she always treated you this way or is this something new? Either way, someone needs to talk to her about it. If you had a good relationship before, I don't see any reason why you can't ask her why she is treating you like an employee on her wedding day. I've never really subscribed to the whole "it's his family, let him deal with it" school of thought. However, if things have always been a little rocky, your BF should step up and talk to her to let her know that telling you what you can and cannot do is unacceptable.

graysquirrel · February 2012

The bride has no right to dictate to you the job of dog-feeder. I would tell her that you are not comfortable with that or are unable to accomodate her request. I do think that your BF needs to back you up on this, too.

Regarding where you sit, social units should be seated together. I would have your BF ask his daughter about the seating chart and tell her that he would prefer to be seated next to you if he is not.

I'm not sure what you are refering to about walking in during introductions-- is the DJ announcing all of the family members or something? If the bride does not consider you to be her mom or step-mom, then I can see where she would not include her dad's GF in the intro, as much as that stinks. If she does want to do it that way, I think that I would graciously keep my mouth shut. It would probably make more trouble than it is worth to ask to be introduced in the grand entrance.

Girlfriend of (10yrs) to brides father

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