Military Brides

Wearing uniform??

Hello,

I am not a military bride (yet, FI is joining after we are married) but I have a question regarding the military and what to wear at weddings. FI's brother is currently in the services, and is in Iraq. He is coming back for our weading and told me he will be wearing his uniform and not a suit to our wedding (I can't remember what exactly it was called, forgive me). I was under the impression that only the groom wears the uniform if he is in the the Army or whatever service they are in, not various family members/friends/guests that are currently serving or are veterens.

This really sounds like I'm micromanaging and being a bridezilla - love his brother to DEATH and I am so proud of him, but he is incredibly egotistical and wants to wear his stuff because he wants to be noticed and be the center of attention. I feel like he should wear a suit like everyone else. I've spoken with several friends who have family members in the services and they didn't attend weddings in their uniform unless they were getting married themselves. I know this is really petty, again, I am so proud of him and wouldn't mind him wearing the uniform it's just the reasons behind it that piss me off because this is not the day or place to try to be the center of attention, and I find it kind of disrespectful. Help?
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Re: Wearing uniform??

  • edited December 2011
    if his brother is trying to be a attention hog i wouldnt worry about because in the end its your wedding and all eyes will be on you and soon to be husband. i eat live and dream about the army and half all my life, to wear your dress blues to a miltary wedding is a sign of respect. i wouldnt over think it to much....
  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Wearing uniform??:
    Hello, I am not a military bride (yet, FI is joining after we are married) but I have a question regarding the military and what to wear at weddings. FI's brother is currently in the services, and is in Iraq. He is coming back for our weading and told me he will be wearing his uniform and not a suit to our wedding (I can't remember what exactly it was called, forgive me). I was under the impression that only the groom wears the uniform if he is in the the Army or whatever service they are in, not various family members/friends/guests that are currently serving or are veterens. This really sounds like I'm micromanaging and being a bridezilla - love his brother to DEATH and I am so proud of him, but he is incredibly egotistical and wants to wear his stuff because he wants to be noticed and be the center of attention. I feel like he should wear a suit like everyone else. I've spoken with several friends who have family members in the services and they didn't attend weddings in their uniform unless they were getting married themselves. I know this is really petty, again, I am so proud of him and wouldn't mind him wearing the uniform it's just the reasons behind it that piss me off because this is not the day or place to try to be the center of attention, and I find it kind of disrespectful. Help?
    Posted by snadler3489
    Has he said that he wants to wear his uniform to be the center of attention?  Or are you just assuming that?  I highly doubt that's his reasoning.  And even if it is, it won't take away from you, I promise.  H chose not to wear his uniform because he hardly ever gets to dress in a tux.  But we invited all of our service member guests to wear their dress uniforms.  We had one friend in the Army in his dress uniform, and 3 of his friends in the Navy in their dress whites.  So 4 people in uniform, 3 of them even in white, and not one person in attendance at the wedding was confused as to who the party was celebrating, and who the B&G were.  If people want to take 2 seconds out of your reception to thank your FBIL for his service to our country, then you should be the first one in line to do so.  You will be the center of attention anyways, because it is YOUR WEDDING and people know they are there for that.  Be happy that your FBIL feels that your wedding is such an honored event that he wants to wear his uniform, and tell him you can't wait to see him in it. 
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2011
    You are allowed to wear it to weddings that aren't your own.  Maybe he doesn't have a suit or doesn't want to spend the money on one he won't wear again when he has a perfectly good uniform that he can wear.  Like the other ladies said, I wouldn't worry about it.  He may have a few people thank him for his service or try to talk war stories with him, but it will not take away from you or your H on day that is ment for the two of you. 


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  • snadler3489snadler3489
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Thank you guys for the input - I'm not going to fight with him about it honestly. It isn't a military wedding, and he would be the only one wearing it but you guys are right and I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, was just wondering if I was out of line here because I feel like a b*tch. I am assuming that this is his reasoning but my FI feels the same way about it, just doesn't care that he will come in his uniform. I shouldn't care either .. guess it just got under my skin because it wasn't something that he asked about, he informed me that this was what he was doing.

    Thank you!
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  • edited December 2011
    My understanding is that unless there is a dress code for a wedding, any guests who are retired or active duty may choose to wear their uniforms. Without knowing your FBIL, I don't know if he's doing it to be an attention hog or not, but I highly doubt it. I don't know how long before your wedding he'll be coming back to the States, but if he is currently serving in Iraq, then buying or renting a suit/tux for your wedding is the very least of his priorities (if it makes his list of priorities at all). It is a lot easier and cheaper for him to wear a dress uniform that he already owns.

    For what it's worth- an ex of mine who is retired Army is getting married in February. He encouraged all of his military friends to wear their uniforms.
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  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Wearing uniform??:
    if his brother is trying to be a attention hog i wouldnt worry about because in the end its your wedding and all eyes will be on you and soon to be husband. i eat live and dream about the army and half all my life, to wear your dress blues to a miltary wedding is a sign of respect. i wouldnt over think it to much....
    Posted by michellemcafee
    Its not a military wedding, her Fi won't join until after.  I don't think it changes things though, but I might be wrong
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Wearing uniform??:
    In Response to Re: Wearing uniform?? : Its not a military wedding, her Fi won't join until after.  I don't think it changes things though, but I might be wrong
    Posted by KatyRoseM
    No it doesn't matter.  A service member can wear their uniform to a wedding that is between two civilians.  Sometimes they might need permission from their higher ups, but not always.
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  • edited December 2011
    A dress uniform is the equilevent of any formalwear of a civilian. You may wear it to any formal occasion, including weddings. It is not at all disrespectful. The only reason it should be a problem, is if he is in the wedding party.
  • snadler3489snadler3489
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    He is in the wedding party, he is the best man. Does that change things? I should have mentioned that earlier. Sorry about that!
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its
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    edited December 2011
    This all really depends on your personal opinion.  I just asked DH what he thought from the service member's point of view and he put it very well.  Look at it this way:

    For a service member nothing is more formal than his most formal uniform, not even a tux.  Perhaps that is his train of thought, not that he wants to show anyone up or be the center of attention.  He also is probably very proud of his service.  Wearing that uniform probably makes him proud.  From your end of things, what is your vision for your wedding day?  If you picture your entire wedding pary in a suit or tux, all looking the same, tell him that.  Say, "I can see how it would mean a lot to to wear your uniform to our wedding.  I'm thankful for your service and proud of you too, but what I really want is for everyone in the wedding party to wear a matching suit/tux.  I would really appreciate it if you would do that for me."
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  • edited December 2011
    Well you said he's in Iraq... so that probably explains him telling you he'll wear his military uniform. I would assume he doesn't have time or isn't allowed to go get fitted and rent a tux. It's also a sign of respect. I highly doubt it has anything to do with you at all, only his circumstances. Don't worry about it!
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