Plus size bridesmaid

Doeinfrenchwoods · January 2012

Hi,

I'm actually living in France so I'm not so much looking for stores but style ideas. I'm having a late July garden wedding here in France where the weather can be over 100°F but it could also rain (like this year although less normal) I've finally found my dress and it a big princess type dress. I don't expect my maids to be in huge dress but obviously now I've pick a big dress they can't be too dressed down (before I was going to go for a beach style dress). The problem is I'm skinny and my sister (maid of honour) isn't and she lives in England and my other maid lives in Scotland so I can't actually go dress shopping with them, nor can they go together really. I don't want to be insensitive either to her size but I want, her sake more than anything, for her to look good. I am letting her pick the dress (with my input, rather than picking for her) but she's not really getting out there and trying any on in the hope that she'll suddenly loose 100 pounds I think. I'm trying to look up ideas for her on the internet so I can discuss with my other maid (who is of a larger build than me but it's mainly just boobs and bum) but I don't know how to ask questions such as do you want to be hauled in by some pretty scary underware or do you want to be loose? Do you like showing your arms or are you conscious of them? Can you wear strapless or are your boobs to big? I don't ant to insinuate that she should be ashamed of any part of her body because I think she's beautiful just the way she is but at the end of the day she is large and is a bit self concious of it.

SOOOOOO any help would be appreciated whether it's ways you approached topics or dress style that are complementary to bigger girls, I've tried looking for guides but not found anything of real use.

A few extra facts she has red/brown hair and pale complection and about a size 22 (UK) she's 5'3" and her build is large boobs but also a large stomach too. Her bottom half is not so big but she may still be concious of her thigh size I'm not sure.

Thanks in advance!!!!

Doe

gundy21 · January 2012

Do you want your two maids to match, or are you ok with giving them some guidelines for the dress (color, length, maybe material) and letting them pick dresses (for your final approval, if you wish) that fit their budget and make them feel comfortable? This might be easiest since they are very different shapes and live in different countries. This is what I did for my girls (told them black, not floor length, not super short, no long sleeves, and not covered in bling). I am a US 20 and my girls were about a 14 and 18.

SSaltzman87 · January 2012

In general, I'd stay away from shinier fabrics and form fitting dresses. I'm large busted (40DDD) and have found that either strapless and/or having shoulder straps on a dress work best for me as opposed to halter, one shoulder etc. dresses. I wear a size 18 US.

In your case, I think I'd leave it up to them to find a dress they would each be comfortable in- also for the fact that it's geographically impossible to go shopping together. It would be perfectly okay for you to have a few guidelines (i.e. color & length).

sydneyscloset.com is a good online dress shop that caters to plus size women.

Doeinfrenchwoods · January 2012

Thanks for the responses

I'd like them not to match exactly but complement each other if you get what I mean. In the uk I know my sister doesn't have as much choice on the high street as most only go up to a uk 18 so I'd like her to pick a dress and send my other maid pictures so she can then pick a complementary dress. Im letting them pick but as I'm paying I'd like to just check I think it's the right type of dress for the atmosphere of our wedding. I just want to maybe send my sister some idea photos to get her thinking and maybe inspire her to bite the bullet and go shopping and try on some dresses. I saw a video on ehow about how to pick plus sized bridesmaid dresses and it said to go for something with rooshing and comes in under the bust but I think that is more likely to accentuate my sisters stomach... I shall have a look around the website you posted. Thanks again and the photos are beautiful:)

Amt2109 · January 2012

Most bridal shops in the uk should do larger sizes. (I'm English). Most department stores won't.

I'm a dress size 18 (UK and US size), my BM dress and wedding dress were both bridal size 24. One shop I went to had loads for me to try on, another I had to hold my wedding dress up against me and then order (I was in a time crunch). She should ring ahead to be sure.

What's her style usually like? I hate my upper arms, so even in summer you'll see me in half length sleeves . It's very very rare (plus I burn to a crisp) to find me in a sleeveless top in summer. I hate my stomach, so I try and make sure my tops are longer so I don't feel so self conscious.

The BM dress I believe didn't suit me at all. I really hated it and was uncomfortable all day. The wedding dresses I tried on, the ones that looked better on me had ruching over the bust (helped give me a nice shape and deter attention from my stomach/arms). Also, natural waist and more often dropped waist gave me a little length and looked more flattering.

Hope this offers some insight - obviously your BM will be different than me but hopefully I've given you something to help.

RaptorSLH · January 2012

Speaking as a short, big-bellied bride, an empire waist can be either flattering or horrible, depending on the exact shape of the dress and girl. My gown is a wonderfully flattering empire A-line, but I've seen dresses that made me look pregnant. As long as she can try on the dress in question, trust her to pick one that works. A well defined normal or drop waist is a nightmare, drawing attention to exactly the wrong things by trying to create a narrow point where the body is widest.

My large busted bridesmaid rejected a halter top dress as an "abomination," but approved both strapless and with strap designs. She will want full back coverage, to hide the supportive garment of her choice.

If she is self-concious about her arms, many bridal stores sell light chiffon wraps, or short sleeve jackets to wear with the dress. I imagine you can find them in Europe as well as the US.

One way to get coordinating dresses is to pick a common fabric like chiffon, a length, and a common color family. Ask them to send you pictures of their top three or so dresses. If she knows what criteria you want, or what atmosphere you're going for, she should have an easier time picking something you'll like.

Doeinfrenchwoods · January 2012

Thanks everyone that's great. I think the hardest part is going to be motivating her to just start trying some on to see what works I shall suggest she calls some bridal shops and look there as the high street was a no go last time we looked before I moved to France. The only problem with actual bridal shops is I'm not sure how far my budget will stretch there but we shall just have to see:) Thanks again!

becka717 · January 2012

You could always choose some pictures of dresses you like and send them to her asking do you like any of these? What do you like or dislike? That might start the discussion of what type of dress she is interested in. If she hates all the strapless ones, she might be anxious about her arms. Maybe she can't decide what to start looking at so hasn't started, but if you can give her some direction she will have more confidence to go to the store and start trying dresses on.

Grits8812 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_plus-size-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:6f70a4c2-797c-4c68-8b0a-db1d4257f6ffPost:15386810-9bd6-41af-a960-5afe323a5696">Re: Plus size bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you want your two maids to match, or are you ok with <strong>giving them some guidelines for the dress (color, length, maybe material) and letting them pick dresses (for your final approval, if you wish) that fit their budget and make them feel comfortable?</strong> This might be easiest since they are very different shapes and live in different countries. This is what I did for my girls (told them black, not floor length, not super short, no long sleeves, and not covered in bling). I am a US 20 and my girls were about a 14 and 18.
Posted by gundy21[/QUOTE]
This idea would probably work best. That way everyone will still match, but you will know they are comfortable.

mollyehren · January 2012

If they have big boobs liek I do stay away from halters (not a pretty sight). A nice a-line tea lenght dress withsome serious undergarments to hold the girls in place always seem to be flattering. If they have issues with their arms alot of the time you can order extra fabric and have a bolero made. I think the two could look lovely together.

LoveMuffins · January 2012

My BMs all had very different body types, and one of them was extremely body conscious and hates trying on clothes anyway because she's plus sized, so I did what Gundy suggested. I just told them what color I wanted them in and the fabric, requested that it would be floor length and let them all choose their own dress, and each one of them looked FANTASTIC. They still had the uniformity of BMs because they were in the same color, but they each got to wear a style that suited them. They ended up all choosing strapless, but that was more by chance. It worked out really well though and all of them felt very beautiful and happy (pics are in my Married Bio) with their choices because they had picked their own dress and knew that it suited their body type.

Doeinfrenchwoods · January 2012

Thanks everyone. I sent a mail to my mum (I realised I don't have my sister's email address!) with some styles I had been looking at and some tips and trick from you guys and the internet about how to dress to your body shape. My mum and sister do most things together so I'm hoping my mum will be able to motivate her to try on stuff. I'm pretty sure she'll want to go for something without scary underware and so I think something more flowing will be best, it will also suit the garden theme of the wedding. I'm not to fussy on what they go for, preferably not big prints but if they found a really pretty one I could be persuaded and I'd like them not in green or black as if possible I want to continue the colour theme of their dresses into the flowers and decoration. I don't want to give them a colour and fabric because I really don't mind and I don't want to limit my sister any further as I know she has limited choice already.

Thanks to everyone again you've all be of immense help and all your photos are beautiful

Plus size bridesmaid

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