Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

At what point did you stress the most?

I am 50 days out.  I have a lot to do still.. I mean the big things of course are taken care of (invites out, dj booked, officiant, photographer, ect)

I am planning on making a cardbox, amenity baskets, table numbers and place cards.  I am not completely stressed out, but I am starting to let it get to me a bit.

At what point were you totally stressed and how did you deal with it?

Re: At what point did you stress the most?

  • I got stressed out a week before. My BM and I had driven from Philly to MN, and I got to my parents on Friday (a week before the wedding) to discover that my dress had not been hemmed properly. It was the only point during the whole process that I broke down and cried. We were able to get it fixed, but lost a day so I was also pretty stressed the day before the wedding trying to get stuff finished up.

    With the dress debacle, I just went to bed, woke up the next day, and had a mimosa while finding someone to fix the dress. Mimosa's are great for stress. :-P As far as the day before the wedding, I was very lucky to have family and friends offer to help, so a bunch of them came over and helped me finish up some last minute stuff. Then my BM's and I went to the salon for mani/pedis and that helped me relax a lot.

    My advice would be to try and get all your DIY done a week before your wedding. I had a special circumstance where I couldn't finish some things until the week of because I was traveling across the country, but had I been staying in one place I would have tried to get it all done the week before so that I could relax a little more the week of the wedding. And if you're overwhelmed with your projects, or getting tired of working on them, take a day off and come back to it later. 

    And if the wedding itself is starting to stress you out, go out with your FI, or maybe have a girls night where all wedding talk is off limits. It might help to take your mind off it for a night. :)
  • Get your DIY done ASAP!   I was up late the night before the wedding putting together the favor boxes with my sister when it should have been a relaxing evening. 

    I didn't finish my music list until two days out.  I was doing nothing but music crap for DAYS!

    Know where your marriage license is!  I made a huge mistake by letting my husband be in posession of it.  We were at the venue to get married and the license was not in the envelope!  I was almost in tears because I thought it was a gonner and we weren't going to be able to get married.  We had to send the best man to go through my husbands big mess of papers.
  • I was the most stressed after the hair and make up trial which was on a Friday and the wedding was on a Monday. I really did not like my make up or hair. So I spent Sunday running around the mall and consulting with Mac make up artists. Once that was done and I was happy I relaxed by taking a walk on the beach and star gazing with FI. On the actual wedding day I was the most relaxed in my life. It was unbelievable.
  • The week before my wedding the seamstress was NOT planning on doing the right work to make my dress fit properly (Eventually she did, after my mom got a hold of her, but honestly, this woman telling me that I should stuff my bra just so she wouldn't have to do the work to take in the bust of the dress was rediculous) and I learned that my veil, which I had ordered from the shop 8 months prior, would not materialize (the manufacturer went out of business), I was really stressed.  The fiunniest part was that I really wasn't even thrilled about having a veil, but the fact that I wound up not having one until 3 days before the wedding upset me greatly.  I also stresed out the morning of with my hair, since my aunt was doing it and she was nervous, so I got nervous.  Other than that stuff, it was fine.  However, I was not doing my own table numbers and amenities baskets, as those were provided by the venue.  If I had more things like that on my mind, it would have been a little different.

    It'll all work out..promise!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_at-what-point-did-you-stress-the-most?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:e1056e1a-4237-4836-8a9f-ae916988ba7bPost:21c4e1e9-b543-4d69-a584-a11010c1acc1">Re: At what point did you stress the most?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The week before my wedding the seamstress was NOT planning on doing the right work to make my dress fit properly (Eventually she did, after my mom got a hold of her, but honestly, this woman telling me that I should stuff my bra just so she wouldn't have to do the work to take in the bust of the dress was rediculous)
    Posted by mbrischoux[/QUOTE]

    I had the same thing happen to me!  The bust of the dress was huge and they wanted me to stuff it with huge pads.  Hell no!  That would look unnatural and ridiculous on my small frame.  MIL had to fix it for me.  Geez!
  • I was most stressed one week out - I still had a bunch of things to get done that I wasn't sure would be done on time.

    Around 2 months out I was pretty stressed as well.
    Vacation White Knot
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_at-what-point-did-you-stress-the-most?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:e1056e1a-4237-4836-8a9f-ae916988ba7bPost:99c97059-a902-4e33-af56-26b2846ec711">Re: At what point did you stress the most?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: At what point did you stress the most? : I had the same thing happen to me!  The bust of the dress was huge and they wanted me to stuff it with huge pads.  Hell no!  That would look unnatural and ridiculous on my small frame.  MIL had to fix it for me.  Geez!
    Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

    I told the seamstress I didn't want to start my marriage with a lie when she suggested the pads.  She just looked at me and said, "Don't you want the groom to be happy?"
  • I have seven days left and was really stressed last week. My FI and I went up to our new house and just hung out for three days last week which really helped cool me down because we move din with our parents a month ago. 
    Just make a lot of lists. I am making lists in my head everyday but i finally feel like it is all falling into place :)
    A wedding is a party, not a performance. If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love, then everything went perfectly.
  • I started to get frazzled and stressed about two weeks before. We had a lot of our friends come into town to have a pre-wedding party at our house and I had a ton of last minute things that I had to get done and double check. I started to ask family members and friends for some help and they were awesome!
    I think it is normal to freak out a little, but don't let it take control of you. Step back and think of what things need to be done first. Also, see if your friends or family members can help you out with any of your to-dos. Good luck!
    Anniversary
  • I was just maried on July 21st and the I wasn't stressed at all until the last few days before the wedding. I made my own place cards out of cardstock,starfish and rafia and that turned out to be a lot larger project than I thought, it was my only diy. I was the most stressed the day before the wedding when there was a million small errands to run lke nails, loading the car, picking up a last minute gift for FI, working out in the morning, etc. Everything was fine as soon as I arrived to the resort for the rehearsal. I never really stressed about the wedding during the 11 months planning until the last few days.
    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I turned into a basketcase the week before the wedding.  The Wednesday before my Sunday wedding, I completely lost it.  My in-laws had been driving me crazy throughout the entire thing, a week earlier my husband and I had just move four-and-a-half-hours away for his new job, and my mother and her family were going to ruin me.  On top of that, I got a parking ticket while having my final pre-wedding meeting with my venue.  I came home to my dad's screaming the whole way in the car, and walked into the house bawling.  Luckily, my dad is awesome, but DH dealt with a lot of rage due to his family's actions.  After having my epic MTV-worthy meltdown, though, it was like nothing in the world could disturb me!

    Advice: 
    Don't wait until the last week for DIY.  I had to do this because of the move, but if you can, don't wait.

    If something is not how you want it, it's okay to POLITELY ask that it be done as you wanted/originally asked/stipulated in the contract.  Doing so right away will keep you from brooding over it and eventually exploding.

    If it's out of your control, don't waste time worrying over it.  My (not so reliable) in-laws were in charge of the rehearsal dinner and it caused me so much angst, even though I couldn't do anything about it.  What a waste of time and energy fretting!

    Standing up for yourself with civility does not make you a bridezilla.  I had to tell people that I couldn't do certain things or make certain meetings.  Some things had to be postponed.  Getting everything done was just too much for me to handle.  As long as I did so politely, everyone responded with a, "That's fine, I understand."

    Delegate only to people who volunteer and are trustworthy.  I placed more responsibility on two of my BMs than the other two (my SILs) because my two oldest and best friends kept asking what they could do for me and are the most reliable, wonderful women in the world!  They were happy to help me and they always came through.  I helped one out with her wedding, and I will do everything I can when it's my MOH's turn to get married!

    Remember that most of the stress is "time-based."  After a wedding, POOF!  The problems are gone or no longer relevent!  Repeating this to myself almost as a mantra helped.

    Remember why you are really doing all of this.  Think about the marriage instead of the wedding.  Put things in perspective for me.

    See a therapist.  This person is trained to help you and unlike friends and family is not personally involved with the wedding, so there's nothing at stake for them except to help you through this time with as much happiness and success as possible.  Best thing I did to handle stress.  After my Wednesday melt-down, I was still brooding the next day.  My therapist let me rant to her over the phone for a straight half-hour and then gave me amazing advice for how to handle my problems.  Was golden from then on.  Her best advice should be patented (unfortunately this is paraphrased because I have a crappy word-for-word memory):
    When someone asks you for something outrageous (and they will!) respond with: I'm going to keep all your requests in mind, and my fiance and I will discuss them and try to make them happen, but we may not be able to accomodate every one of them.
    So simple, but I was just too overwhelmed with trying to meet everyone else's wishes to think of saying this.  The sooner you say this, btw, the better.

    I wish you luck and happiness!  And I hope my mistakes will help you avoid wedding-related stress.  Stay in love!

  • I was stressed out during the guest list & the seating chart.
    The week of my wedding was pretty calm. :)
    ~The only requirement of having a Dream is believing in it.~
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