Not Engaged Yet

Have you ever had *that* friend?

That one friend who after ending the friendship has to be taken out of your life?

That roommate/best friend that I had that I was having issues with has moved out/ended the friendship. And it was supposed to be mutual. But she would post passiv aggressive things on facebook all the time about me or the other roommate involved, so I deleted her off of facebook. 
She would post passive agressive things about me on Tumblr about how people will call you their best friend, but stab you in the back, etc.
And tonight I posted a picture of my other roommates and me out for my birthday lunch and about how much I love their friendship (not even remembering we are following each other on twitter) and then 10 minutes later she tweets "It's funny how people go out of their way to make you feel so small. It's so sad for them <3
I literally wanted to flip my desk over in frustration. I felt like I made it clear we weren't in each others lives anymore....
At the end of the day, I did what I always do... not respond and blocked her from twitter. 

I'm sorry if this seems out of no where! I just know from experience that you ladies are wonderful with advice and could really use the advice/talking down. 

Re: Have you ever had *that* friend?

  • edited December 2011
    I had a friend who was supposed to be my best friend and when things got serious with FI she flipped out and would make nasty comments about him. I had to end things for good with her. She was volatile and selfish. I am so much better without her in my life. She has told people like my sister that she misses me, but i know all she misses is the things I did for her. Good luck with everything and I hope you can see how much better your life wil be wiithout people like her.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Thank you CCO! Life has been good without her constand passive agressive comments, but this one put me over the edge a little because my birthday is today (and she knows that after being friends for 7 years...) and acts like me being happy about what my other roommates have done for me is all about her? I think thats what makes me most angry!

    I am sorry to hear about your friend though. It's not easy. :( 
  • The biggest thing I have learned is that most girls are bitches! Thats why I only have a few that I actually call my close friends.

    I had a friend that ended up using me for her baby shower, and the expensive stroller and once it was all said and done baby was born she never talked to me again. When I started dating FI and I was out of town, she ran into him at the bar and told him he better turn around now and never look back. Well I hope it kicked her in the butt when she found out we moved in together and that now we're getting married.

    I always block ppl that try to be that way.

     

  • I've had several toxic friends, and my life improved dramatically after cutting them out. I've had to cut out entire groups of friends before.

    Looking back, a majority of my friends in college were useless and toxic, I really don't speak to any of them anymore aside from a facebook comment here and there.

    ******************************************************

  • Happy Birthday!


    The unfortunate thing is...is that she probably wont outgrow this crappy behavior. In fact- my mom is trying to break up with a friend...and her friend has started calling my cell and my sister's cell...multiple times a day. And they are over 50. True story.
    LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh, I have one particular person who is my utter b*tch b*tch b*tch... if I hear her name or think about her, I get angry, so angry. I can't even hear that someone is named Amber without thinking about her. She has forever tainted the name Amber. FOREVER. Graaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!

  • Yes, yes I have. I know that feeling EXACTLY.

    I lived with one of my best friends a couple of years ago, and I started dating Jon when I lived with her. She had always been amazingly needy and clingy, but when I was young and partying and living it up it was something I was willing to give. When I started to take that away from her, and settle into my relationship, she couldn't handle it. She didn't even realize that I had started distancing myself from her emotionally before Jon and I even started dating. I just wasn't into being her emotional dumping ground anymore - it had nothing to do with him.

    After I moved out, we still hung out, but I got busy with life. She expected me to make one night a week my date night with her, because I did that with my family so why not her too. I tried to tell her that my family was different, and that I didn't make weekly dates with any other friends, but she wouldn't hear of it. When I couldn't attend a party of hers, she posted a nasty passive aggressive status on FB. I called her out on it, and she tried to tell me I was taking all of my anger at how my life had turned out on her. She tried to bring me to her way of thinking by saying that she didn't like the person I had become. I told her I did, so that must mean we shouldn't be friends anymore.

    She remained friends with my bestie, and since she was invited to the shower, bachelorette and wedding, it made me start wondering if I made the right decision back then. When I realized that I had not missed her at all in the year and half since we had spoken, I knew I had made the right choice. You did too.

    It will get easier - and deleting her was the right thing to do. Don't rise to her attempts to stir things up - just shut them down right away. You don't need that drama in your life.
  • Stina: That is RIDICUOUS! I would be livid if someone had just blatantly used me like that and then had to gall to tell my BF that other $hit. I'm super glad I'm not alone though! 

    erin: Honestly, that's how I'm starting to feel with my college friends now. I mean, I enjoy other peoples company, but I prefer to hang out with the ~10 great friends I have (and that includes people not even up at school with me.)

    Liv: Thank you and I agree! It makes me a little sad sometimes because we did used to be great friends, but then something like what happened last night happens and I say good riddance as well!

    Lunar: Aww! Thank you :) And oh god. That's sounds AWFUL! How is your mom handling it? My friend is also not only SUPER passive agressive, but she's the friend on facebook that updates about how in luuuuuuuurve with her BF she is about 10 times a day.

    ahstillwell: That is so sad :( Hopefully she gets the hint and just leaves me alone, but she has some pretty nasty friends that advise her to do wrong things.. like encourage her to confront people shes super upset with. Some I'm half expected a message from her on facebook or something telling me how $hitty I am. 

    csousa: Are you talking about the same person?? Because it sounds like it! The biggest problem is that we changed so much between high school and in he first year of college and moving in together was the biggest mistake we could have made! 

    I'm glad everyone has taken at least one of these people out of their lives! 
  • Oh and PS - Happy Birthday!!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ever-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:32725096-4add-40df-b1cb-e4581816d722Post:1b97d5b2-ca77-454f-bfc2-2076c4aa63e6">Re: Have you ever had *that* friend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh and PS - Happy Birthday!!!
    Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]

    <div>Haha! Thanks! I've finally crossed the threshold into my 20's! Although, I still feel like a child compared to everyone else here! </div>
  • Happy belated birthday!!

    I had a LOT of toxic friends in high school and going to college was one of the best things to happen to me because cutting them out of my life ended up being so easy. I work really hard now to think about if a friendship is making me mostly happy or mostly sad/pissed off/lonely/whatever.

    It sucks that she's all over the internet bashing you, but I'm sure anyone who knows you and cares about you knows she's just being a huge drama queen. Yuck.
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
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