Small Registry- feeling bad...

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

Hi Ladies. My FI and I are hoping to get mostly cash as gifts, since we've been living together for 4 years and don't need much, so we've only registered for a handful of items that we want. However, most of those items are over $100, and I feel really bad not having more lower-priced items on the registry. At the same time, I don't want or need more kitchenware or anything that I could add that would only been $10-$30.

Anyone else have the same problem? As a guest, would you be mad to see a tiny registry with mostly expensive items on it?

lyns86stc3007 · February 2012

I wouldn't be mad because registries are for items you want/need so if there's only a few items then so be it. People will give cash or take it upon themselves to get you a different gift. A lot of the time if there are expensive gifts on a registry a few people will contribute so it isn't one expense for a single person.

rlavach · February 2012

I wouldn't make a huge deal over it, but if I was a guest, I wouldn't be too happy. I don't like giving money because I feel it's impersonal and I don't like the receiver to know how much I spent. That's why I prefer giving gifts because if I use sales/coupons, I can often get multiple items with a greater value than cash. Since I'm not at the point where I can afford >$100 for a shower gift, I'd end up getting you something from that store that looks like it would fit with your tastes. You probably won't like it, but I'd put a gift receipt. Good thing I'm not invited, right!

meganb1977 · February 2012

I don't see anything wrong with registering just for things you really need. A group of guests (i.e. aunts or co-workers) could choose to pool money together for a larger item rather than buying several smaller gifts. Or someone could give you a gift card to put towards a larger item if the item was more than what they wanted to spend. Agree with pp that some guests will prefer to get you a physical/boxed gift even if it's not on your registry so you may get some smaller/less expensive items you didn't ask for that you will have to sort through and possibly try to return after the wedding. If you want to give people some other suggestions of things that would be to your taste, you could add some other items to your registry, but you don't have to. But personally, if I saw your registry I would suggest to fiance that we give you a gift card to put towards something you wanted...I've become a big fan of that idea since becoming a bride.

If you want to add some other items, just give it a second look, do you have bakeware that you could upgrade to something shinier and sturdier? Could you stand to have some extra towels to freshen them more often, or pack away to eventually replace the towels you're using now?

Rummi302 · February 2012

As long as you aren't having a shower, then I think it's fine. I would probably add a few Pyrex dishes or nice OXO storage containers because I can never have enough of them, but I don't think it's necessary.

pantherRN · February 2012

If you're having a shower, I think you need some less expensive things. Things like bakeware, towels, and sheets can always be stored in a Rubbermaid container until the ones you have now wear out.

If you aren't having a shower, I wouldn't sweat it.

hoffse · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_small-registry-feeling-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ce12d209-783c-4485-9c66-f48872790a2cPost:91a885c5-a553-4d96-a377-c5deaef20533">Re: Small Registry- feeling bad...</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't make a huge deal over it, but if I was a guest, I wouldn't be too happy. I don't like giving money because I feel it's impersonal and I don't like the receiver to know how much I spent. That's why I prefer giving gifts because if I use sales/coupons, I can often get multiple items with a greater value than cash. Since I'm not at the point where I can afford />$100 for a shower gift, I'd end up getting you something from that store that looks like it would fit with your tastes. You probably won't like it, but I'd put a gift receipt. Good thing I'm not invited, right!
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I'm another one who doesn't like to give money because I don't want you to know what I spent. I'm also not in the position to spend more than $100 on you unless you are an EXTREMELY close friend - ie: bridal party close. I would probably do what rlavach suggested and get you something that I thought fit your tastes but that wasn't on your registry and try to remember to include a gift receipt.</div><div>
</div><div>Personally, I think you need some lower-priced items, particularly if you are having a shower. Maybe include some fun kitchen gadgets, replace your college bakeware, use this as an opportunity to change the color scheme in one of your bedrooms and bathrooms. See if you are lacking in any cookbooks. It doesn't have to be much, but yeah I'd be annoyed if I didn't see something in my price range.</div>

ElisabethJoanne · February 2012

If I were invited to your wedding, I'd be bummed I have to think so hard about your gift. I usually spend around $50 on wedding gifts, which I think is less than average, but is what my budget can handle. Because it's less than average, I'm even more self-conscious about giving cash in that amount, so I never do. So I'd have to give a non-cash gift, and you've given me no suggestions in my price range, so I have to think about it. Of course, I'd do the mental work, but I wouldn't be happy about it.

angryangry · February 2012

I would try to add some lower priced stuff, if you can find things that you really want. A lot (but not all) of the people who don't feel comfortable giving cash it's because they can't spend as much on the gift, and it seems less awkward to give a $15 picture frame than to give $15 cash. My FI and I have a pretty well established household and we were able to find things we wanted in the $40 and under range. It's mostly 'upgrades' of small stuff that we already have, like a fancy $20 spatula, a nice new salad spinner, an extra silpat mat, etc.

ceh789 · February 2012

I think that's fine if you're not having a shower. If you're having a shower you need to redo. It is not practical to expect cash gifts or gifts over $100 for a shower.

Squishy'sGal · February 2012

I wouldn't be mad, I just wouldn't get anything off the registry that I couldn't afford. Most people will just chip in together to buy one expensive gift.

JW28 · February 2012

We're having the same problem as OP - not much to put on our registry due to living together for several years/being out of college, etc. I did find a few things though, and I'm hoping to find a few more, though we're almost having the opposite problem - nothing we want is expensive (which is only a problem in that people might buy several smaller gifts, thus reducing our already small registry). We already have a KitchenAid and an ice cream maker, what more could we need? What we did put on are more casual place settings (we only have 4 corelle settings now and 4 settings of flatware), bath towels, bedsheets, a muffin/cupcake tin, and another bread pan. We've got 5.5 months to go, so hopefully we can find a few more things to add.

Hollygowedding · February 2012

Hmm even though I see where you're coming from, as a guest that would annoy me. I'd look for smaller gifts to register for, even if they're nontraditional gifts like books, DVDs or bottles of yo ur favorite wine...at least they're things you would use as a couple and probably would enjoy more than another random kitchen gadget. Good luck!

tinstarsunshine · February 2012

honestly i think its better to have items you truly want/need on a registry than a slew of cheap items you are just going to toss in a drawer just because you "need to make someone feel better." Everyone is an adult. They can buy off registry or pool together for a gift nothing wrong with that and ends up being cheaper for all.
This is just a list of things you would like not a requirement.

I was also freaking out about this a few months back since the cheapest thing on the registry is like $40. But aunts, mom, married firends and even FMIL said that its fine... To them the more effort /thought the more you will cherish and care for it.

jseguine38 · February 2012

I agree with PP, I wouldn't worry too much. If you're wanting to add a few cheaper items, depending on where you're registered you could add things for, say, a picnic (cooler, plastic wine glasses, blanket, etc.) or board or card games. But again, this all depends on where you're registered.

Small Registry- feeling bad...

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