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Sorry to do this, but I could really use some prayer, too.

Jessieleigh316Jessieleigh316 member
10 Comments
in Christian Weddings
I hate to ask for any prayer on my behalf, and I hate that I hate to ask, but after praying for some of you guys tonight I felt God pushing me to step up and ask if maybe you could pray for me, too?

I love FI with all my heart, and I can't imagine what my life would be like without him at this point. Also, I think that he is absolutely gorgeous, the first time I ever saw him I  literally did a double take because he was the most handsome guy I'd ever seen. But he is very overweight, and I worry about his health to the point of depression. Two seperate premarital counselors have told him that their biggest concern for our future together is his weight problem, and even though he recently lost 30 lbs, he has kind of plateaued and he still has a very long way to go before I am anywhere near comfortable with his health. He is trying, but a lifetime of bad habits are hard to break and the fact that he refuses to eat any vegetables (literally, none of them) is working against him like crazy. I am so scared that I will lose him while we are still relatively young.

Please pray that he will hit his goal weight and get fit and healthy (by our wedding, if God is willing... its certainly possible). It would mean the world to me if you do!
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Re: Sorry to do this, but I could really use some prayer, too.

  • GJones27GJones27 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, that is something to be concerned about.  I have to admit that I have a similar, though not as serious problem, with my fiance.  He's not overweight, but I noticed he's putting on weight.  He eats so much junk food, especially sweets.  My best advice is to find a dietician who can help with food.  If you're married, you could do all the food shopping and make delcious but healthy meals for dinner and for him to bring to work.  But ultimately, he's going to have to find the self discipline to not go out to Walgreens or something to buy a bag of chips or cookies.  If he's religious, one idea is to make giving up junk food for Lent or eat five veggies/fruits per day.  It's easier to do that if it's for a limited period of time, or if it's tied to spirituality.  I did that one year, and it helped me become more disciplined.  He would still have to  be accountable to someone, so even doing something simple like a journal where he writes down what he eats and reflects on his spirituality could help.

    These things might very well fail, and I sometimes feel scared that my FI will get a heart attack or he may become so overweight I'll feel less attracted to him one day.  I wouldn't mention the less attractive part, but definitely communicate how worried you are.  It's not fair for him not to take care of himself, without any regard to you or your future children.  But I would take care to praise his efforts so far, as he is trying it seems, like with the weight loss.  Ultimately, motivation is going to have to come from within, and you don't want it to have to get so bad to the "point of no return" that it's harder to get better from there.

    I'll send a prayer that everything works out.
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Please don't apologize for asking for prayer.  I will pray for you.  This is a really difficult thing because to get serious about his weight, he needs to change his lifestyle.  I have a DH that likes junk food and doesn't really like his veggies.  But I make them and even though I don't think he likes them much, he eats them.  I know which ones to avoid completely and which ones to try so that helps.  I also worry about his health and that his habits will lead to problems.  We encourage each other to work out and stay in shape so that is good too.  I don't know your situation but hang in there.  I will pray for the two of you and that he will realize that he needs to make some changes in his life for the sake of his health.
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  • kellya01kellya01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Definitely girl, and don't apologize for asking for prayer.  It can be very humbling to ask for prayer and it requires a brave spirit to tell your problems to others.  We're here for ya, chickadee!  

    I'm going through my own health issues.  I'm a size 18/20 woman and trying to get back down to a 16 has been my goal for the past 3 years... on and off.  If i could just stay "on" my goal of being more healthy, things would be better.  I have a feeling that your FI probably realizes what he has to do but may be lacking motivation to get it done.  Maybe the two of you can come up with an accountability plan together?  

    Praying!! 
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  • bourgehmbourgehm
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Prayer for you!
    When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
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  • amongthelilies25amongthelilies25 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i will definately keep you in prayer. (:
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  • AshNoel8AshNoel8
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I will pray!! He can do it!
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  • Jessieleigh316Jessieleigh316 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks you guys, it really means the world. I pray for each of you too!
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  • perkins81perkins81
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As someone on your FI's side of the issue, I will definitely pray for your situation. I am overweight and have been all my life. My boyfriend/FI (not officially engaged yet) is also a bit chubby but not nearly as much overweight as me. We are both working together to encourage each other to have healthier lifestyles and are losing weight together. The problem is worse for me b/c I'm addicted to ice-cream, chocolate, and cookies. I have made significant progress and am letting God change me, but everytime I give in and eat too many sweets, I can tell it really hurts my boyfriend b/c he loves me and cares for me and wants to keep me around for a long time! And he reminds me of this many times.

    About a month ago, I started attending Celebrate Recovery at my church. It's not just for alcoholics or drug users, as some might expect, but it's for everybody - anyone who has a habit they want to break, including overeating. I would encourage you and your FI to find one of these groups in your area and attend together. It has really helped me to dig deeper into the issue and discover WHY I like to over-indulge so much. And I'm already losing weight!

    Keep loving him and supporting him and being patient with him. And don't be afraid to show some "tough love" and tell him that it hurts you when he overeats or whatever the problem might be. Just say it gently. I respond with tears sometimes when my boyfriend has these talks with me, but then he prays for me and I realize just how much he loves me. Together, we are submitting to God and changing our lives.

    Blessings to you!
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