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Mom is driving me crazy!!!!!!

mak7788mak7788 member
Second Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Party
My parents are paying for the wedding so I've sat back and let them have every say in the wedding. Because, after all, they are paying for it, and I just want to have a fun day with family and friends, that's all that matters; Not the silly little details, or spending copious amounts of money on one day.

My mom just called me and said that she ordered 75 invites, but there's one too many people on the list. She has decided that one of my bridesmaids doesn't get an invitation, and her invitation can just be combined with her family. (i.e. Smith Family and Ms. Bridesmaid). But my bridesmaids are each allowed to bring a guest, so the guest won't be included on the invitation. I asked my mom how there we went over 75 since we counted carefully before. She said "oh well I get one, and you and FI get one!" I told her to just send my bridesmaid her own invite, and that I don't have to have my own invitation (kind of assumed I'd be invited to my own wedding??? lol) My mom flat out refused and said that if I wanted my bridesmaid to have her own invitation then I can pay myself to order 25 more invites.

Ummm...what should I do? I'm so mad about this, but should I just  suck this up and choose my battles? I just don't believe it's right that all my other bridesmaids get their own invite but one....
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Re: Mom is driving me crazy!!!!!!

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd pay for 25 more invites.

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  • pgcppgcp member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I'd just pay for the extras.  Chances are you will want a few extras any way.  Often the photographer will want one for a photo, you could also give one to the baker and florist so they can have one more bit of information for styling purposes.  It's also not a bad idea to have extras for any just in case issues, someone's gets lost in the mail or you realize you forgot someone just before the invitations go out.
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  • mak7788mak7788 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    I was thinking just take the invitation that's supposed to be mine and just give it to the BM myself. Not worth the fight.
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  • mak7788mak7788 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Thanks for the advice ladies. I never thought about the benefits of extras. I'll end up buying more I'm sure!
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited March 2012
    Yeah buy the extras for sure. Your mom is being dumb about this and she is not being considerate of your BM/invitation etiquette. 

    I'm sorry your mom is being this way, and I hope she will realize you are an adult now and not be this way with other things NWR in your life. She has to let you go at some point. I know she is paying, so she gets a say, but I couldn't do it. Kudos. 
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  • mak7788mak7788 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Yeah she is being ridiculous. At the same time, I feel like I'm also being ridiculous even getting so upset over something this trivial! I think it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. I get that she's excited and I'm the first kiddo to get married (I'm the youngest of two girls). But I could seriously write a short story about the crap she's pulled in the past year.
    I just needed a safe outlet to vent because I can tell FI is getting exhausted hearing about it lately! haha!
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    Yeah it's trivial, but like you said, I think this is just what made you snap. I couldn't deal with having so little control over my own wedding. It doesn't even sound like you are mailing out your own invitations, and to me, that seems kind of crazy (maybe that's more common than I realize, idk). If that's what you want and you don't mind, then it's fine, but it sort of sounds like you do mind. It's great that your parents are helping pay, and it seems like you know that with money comes power. Just make sure you aren't sacrificing what you and your FI truly want just so you can have your parents paying, KWIM?
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  • AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
    2500 Comments
    edited March 2012
    I agree, I'd buy extras.  I only accounted for 10 extra, and I'm wishing I had bought more because there were some things I didn't think about (invite to officiant, etc.)
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  • geierangeieran
    100 Comments
    You could probably try the practical approach if she's completly closed to the idea of sending an invitation to your bridesmaid. I always get extra invitaitons becuase something always happens. Like some of the PPs have stated - you may want one for a keepsake, the photographer will want to photograph one, and you may have to give people another one if lost in the mail. But I always have to allow for plenty extra for mistakes when addressing and such.
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