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BM backing out

JTA2426JTA2426 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I am getting married in 3 months, and one of my bridesmaids just informed me that she cannot participate in the wedding due to personal reasons. Naturally, I understand and I'm not angry with her. I am, however, very disappointed that she will not be there to participate in my special day.

My question is, I would like to replace her (for symmetry reasons and to include another friend) and didn't know how to go about the process of asking someone else. I don't want my friend to feel like she is being replaced and I don't want my new bridesmaid to feel like she is only doing this because someone backed out. How should I handle this?
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Re: BM backing out

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    pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bm-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3afa8f42-04e8-4adf-88f7-644a8b6808a8Post:aad96ab9-c6e6-41d9-a155-0a0323391fe5">BM backing out</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't want my friend to feel like she is being replaced and I don't want my new bridesmaid to feel like she is only doing this because someone backed out.
    Posted by JTA2426[/QUOTE]
    But that is reality.  Don't lie to them.  Or better yet, don't replace her.
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    amyandjeroenamyandjeroen
    First Comment
    I am in the same exact situation and I plan on asking another good friend if she'll be a bridesmaid. I plan on telling her the truth... I figure that anybody who is a true friend will understand and would simply be happy to serve as a bridesmaid- first or second choice. 

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    RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    [QUOTE] I don't want my friend to feel like she is being replaced and I don't want my new bridesmaid to feel like she is only doing this because someone backed out. [/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Then don't do it.  Because if you ask now, for the reasons you've stated, both of these will be true, and both parties could be offended.

    </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Your friend will in fact feel like she is replaceable and anyone you ask will feel as they are 2nd best...especially this close to your wedding.

    Don't replace her.

     

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    There is no way to handle replacing a friend (because that is what you are doing) without either the friend who had to drop out or her replacement to feel like sh*t.

    Honestly, would you rather have your WP be symmetrical and hurt your friends feelings, or not hurt your friends feelings and have an uneven WP?

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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The one and ONLY reason you want to ask her is because your other friend dropped out.  Please don't get caught up in even sides.  Insulting your friend isn't worth it.
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