Another Registry Question

niobesmum · January 2012

Ok, Now I do feel like Im out of the loop on this subject. After reading a few posts today I am now realizing the you shouldnt advertise if you have registry? My belief (albeit wrong, I think) that you would send out registry cards with the invite. So now I see that you dont? So my question is how do you let people know where you are registered? should you always wait until they ask you?? I also read that they go into the shower invites. What if no one is giving you a shower? And I'll say I have nothing against pointing peope to a wedding website whatsoever but some of my older guests probably wont want to deal with a computer when looking up a registry.

So whats the proper etiquette regarding registries and registry cards?

annakb8 · January 2012

I think this is a regional thing. Technically putting the cards in the inviations is an etiquette no-no, but it is accepted (and even expected) in some places. And yes, they are more acceptable in shower invitations.

Anyway, you can put a link to your registries on your wedding website. Otherwise people can ask you where you are registered or google it.

StephBeanWed61502 · January 2012

What Anna said, basically.

It's rude, according to etiquette, to include those registry info cards in invitations, and in my circle, it's definitely frowned upon, but it seems like that's not the case in other parts of the country. Of course, "everyone else does it" isn't really an excuse to ignore proper etiquette, but I get that this isn't necessarily a huge faux pas everywhere.

Also, keep in mind that you can always spread registry information through word of mouth - I would guess that an older relative would think to call your mom or you or someone else in the family to ask about registry information if they didn't see it in the invitation, so the registry cards might not be as crucial as you think.

And yes, it's acceptable to include registry information in shower invitations, if you have a shower, since the shower isn't hosted by the bride, so the information isn't coming from the bride.

niobesmum · January 2012

ok. Cause I thought maybe I was just going crazy. because i KNOW ive recived invitations with registry cards in them because I would save them just so I would know.

Kas254 · January 2012

I also hadn't been aware of this. My invitation person just informed me that it was tacky to put it in. I'm glad she caught it!
She said that most people give money for the wedding anyway, so only a few people will even ask about the registry.

niobesmum · January 2012

Gotch Steph. I will prollly just include a wedding website for those interested and if anyone else asked me Ill just have the cards ready to hand out.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · January 2012

People here will tell you to leave registry info off of your wedding invitations, but that it's okay to include it in shower invitations. If no one throws you a shower, then you just don't get a shower. Your registry info can be spread by word of mouth or be listed on the website.

Like anna said, I think it's a regional thing. Where I'm from, if you don't list registry info somewhere on your invitations, people more often than not will just assume you didn't register and give you cash or some random gift. After reading that I shouldn't include registry info on wedding invitations on TK, I tried to pull that off with my invitations but my mother (who paid) had a coronary and forced me to list it, citing that she "didn't want to get hundreds of phone calls."

I think it's kind of a "know your audience" type thing, but then again I don't get too huffy about etiquette things like this. There are worse things that can happen as far as I'm concerned I guess.

niobesmum · January 2012

Kas254, yeah I just thought you incuded them because they always give you so many lil cards, didnt know it was a no-no. Glad I know now...i dont want to look gift-grabby.

daveANDkristen · January 2012

OP, the store(s) you register at gives you those little cards so that people will buy gifts for you from their store. They are not concerned with good etiquette, they just want the business!

andreamarie77 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d018b7d0-a939-47c2-9bc1-cea155d5df01Post:78d978a5-3412-4fe9-a0c4-7d5df2f7a0ee">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this is a regional thing. Technically putting the cards in the inviations is an etiquette no-no, but it is accepted (and even expected) in some places.
And yes, they are more acceptable in shower invitations. Anyway, you can put a link to your registries on your wedding website. Otherwise people can ask you where you are registered or google it.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

Around here, no one cares if you put your registry information in with your invitations. I've gotten invited to a ton of weddings over the last few years and they all had registry cards included.

Also, putting it on your website, and then just including an information card with your website link is another way to go around it.

For us, we did both. We included the registry cards and I also had an information card that said "For more information about our wedding, hotels, and map information, please visit our website: <a href="http://www.xyz.com/" rel="nofollow">www.xyz.com</a>." I didn't say registry information on the card though.

It seems to be working just fine and no one was offended.

Cortney1982 · January 2012

I only have it on the wedding website, and wedding website was only mentioned on the save the dates.

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