"Back-Up" MOH?

annvath89 · January 2012

Of course my littler sister is completely ecstatic and didn't even hesitate to decline when I asked her to be my MOH, the only problem is she is currently located in Korea for the next few years on active duty. I'm so worried we will have everything planned out and it will be the day before her flight home and she will be told she has to stay for some reason and not be able to make it to the wedding. Last time she was on leave she was supposed to be home for a month and two weeks in she was called back and had to abruptly leave. What do I do if this occurs during the wedding? Do I ask one of my girls to be my "back-up" MOH way before hand to give the girl fair warning or just ask one of the girls last minute to step in if my sister needs to be absent?

mbody · January 2012

Don't have anyone as a back-up MOH. Your sister is your MOH regardless if she is there or not. Even if she can't make it, still list her as MOH in your program.

annvath89 · January 2012

I guess I meant along the lines of someone filling the roll as my witness.

RunsWithBears · January 2012

If your sister can't make it, you can just ask another BM be a witness and sign the marriage certificate. She doesn't need the title of MOH to do that.

mbody · January 2012

Have a BM sign as a witness- or any guest there really. The witness doesn't have to be the MOH.

rebarobert2012 · January 2012

I don't think that you need a back up MOH. One of your other bridesmaids can hold your bouquet and sign as a witness for you.

meganb1977 · January 2012

Ditto, just have one of your bridesmaids hold your bouquet and then snag whoever's convenient to sign the certificate. Definitely you'll be wishing your sister could have been there to do those things, but everything can definitely be handled gracefully just in case something does come up for your sister. Best wishes to both of you!

andrea2473 · January 2012

NJ may be different from IN, but we didn't require the signature of a witness. And if they do, it can be anyone.

LauraChristin · January 2012

I agree with PPs. No back up MOH. It would be mean to both your sister and the back up. The exception to this would be if your faith requires someone of your religion to fulfill the ceremony duties like the Koumbara in a Greek Orthodox ceremony. Otherwise anyone who witnesses your ceremony can be your witness on paper. I had a MOH and 3 bridesmaids but asked a good friend who was not in the bridal party to sign our marriage license as a witness for me.

bandjwedding2012 · January 2012

No back-up MOH. Just find someone else to sign if you need it. Have a BM hold your flowers and that's it. I think it would hurt your sister to find out you have someone as a back up at your wedding. I know I would be if my sisters did that to me.

mbcdefg · January 2012

Just ask any other BM to hold the bouquet, and anyone 18+ can sign as a witness.

If you're marrying in a church, though, check with your priest. We wanted our parents to sign as the witnesses, but our priest said that we HAD to have the Best Man and MOH sign. So explain the situation to him and ask if it's O.K. if someone else signs in the event that your sister can't make it. This was probably just our priest's personal preference to keep things simple, but it couldn't hurt to ask.

quiggels219 · January 2012

I agree with everyone - and if it was me I'd have my mom sign as a witness 1. Because I think shed like having that honor since my dad is walking me down the asile and 2. So I didn't pick one bm over the other.

graysquirrel · January 2012

You don't need to designate a back-up. Besides everything pps said, think of how the back up girl would feel. Although you are just trying to keep things running smoothly, she might feel like second place in the Miss America pageant. If your sister can't be there, discreetly ask someone else. It takes very little time and is often done privately.