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Need advice on telling mom no

medunnmedunn
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
My mom has not had a very strong oppinion on much of anything with my wedding. She has really let my FI and I run the show untill now. she found that one thing that she wants more than anything and wont let it go. I have a close friend who is a great public speaker and very funny and my mom has it set in her head that this friend should be my officiant. Well thats not a bad idea but she litteraly wont stop brining it up and at the end of the day my FI doesnt really know the person that well. I dont want him to feel like the person marrying us is just for me and I want to make shore that who ever marries us is someone that we are booth comfertable with. But my mom will not let it go and will not stop making snide comments about it. How do I tell her to let us take time to pick who we think is right?
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Re: Need advice on telling mom no

  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    "Thanks for your input mom.  We'll take that into consideraton.  So, seen any good movies lately?"

    Don't engage.  Thank her, change the subject, move on.
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  • PeavyPeavy member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Ditto DramaGeek.

    But who ARE you going to have officiate?  If you're just going to hire a random officiant out of the phone book, why not your friend if both you and FI are comfortable with that.
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Also keep in mind that the person that marries you must be legally able to under state laws. A random friend is not likely to be licensed.
     
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with Stage. Professionals (whether associated with a religion or legally ordained) can really make a difference in setting up a ceremony that is meaningful while keeping your tastes in mind.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You can ask her if she knows if he is ordained or not to do weddings. Then the next thing is if he isn't, would he be willing to go through the work of getting ordained. He may be a great public speaker, that doesn't mean he will feel comfortable performing a marriage.

    Comprimise - have him do a reading or little speech of some sort?

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If this is something you don't want, say to your mother, "Mom, FI and I have discussed it and we've decided not to do it.  Please consider the subject closed."

    You can use that wording anytime someone brings up something you don't want to do (with changes for the relationship of the person you are speaking to, and after discussing it with your FI).
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