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katiebean1 · February 2012

I think you both need to meet in the middle. I wouldn't want to wear a dress that is short, even with tights. She needs to not complain about the DB dresses because she only has to wear it once.

wegsmom · February 2012

My first comment is...if the dress doesn't fit, what can your bridesmaid do? As for offering a jacket and tights as an option, why isn't a similar dress she'd be comfortable in? Personally, the comfort and happiness of my family members far outweighs matchy-matchy photos anyday.

Best wishes.

bruna29 · February 2012

Honestly, I know it's important to you that the BMs match, but it might be easier on all of your bridemaids if you select a specific color and material from DB and then let them buy whatever style of dress they would like in that exact color/material you selected. Then you are allowing your BMs to be comfortable while still allowing them to match by color and material (you could even dictate length of dress, if you want it above the knees, etc.).

I agree with wegsmom that, for me, the comfort and happiness of family and friends outweighs matching.

Amt2109 · February 2012

I agree with PPs, but one thing I'll add...

As a plus sized lady yourself... how would you feel in something that was short as well as strapless? Maybe you've picked a strapless gown for yourself... but it probably isn't mid-thigh short (anyone else feel like they've read this recently?).

Just put yourself in her shoes a moment. You say she's larger than you are.

Well... a 27inch long top doesn't hit me where it would on a smaller girl. Why? Because I'm plus sized, and a G cup. Most of that 27inches is taken up with all the extra random fat/flesh I have, so that it would hit me a good six inches higher than someone who is smaller, or has C cups.

The same goes for her. A dress that hits the other girls just above the knee may not hit her the same place.

I'm not trying to devalue what you've written here. It seems like you've tried to make some leeway for her. But tbh with you, if I already felt like an oversized hooker whale falling out of a tiny dress... a jacket/tights wouldn't make me feel better. (Please ladies. I do not wish to offend anyone with my terminology here I'm just saying how I would feel in a short, strapless dress).

It would also be MUCH less stress for you if you let go of the idea of matching dresses. Tell them a colour/length/fabric and let them get something which is comfortable to them. You're more likely to have smiling happy pictures on the day if your bridesmaids are comfortable.

bruna29 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_the-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:0c47bfbc-a854-4555-a902-ee8fb658e62bPost:37726e2c-4bb5-4eab-a1a7-2a4f0cec120b">Re: The bridesmaid's wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]But tbh with you, if I already felt like an <strong>oversized hooker whale</strong> falling out of a tiny dress... a jacket/tights wouldn't make me feel better.
Posted by Amt2109[/QUOTE]
I seriously cannot stop laughing.

Ciardasully · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_the-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:0c47bfbc-a854-4555-a902-ee8fb658e62bPost:e9da1d8b-073d-40a2-8bb7-4a38a197f813">Re: The bridesmaid's wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, I know it's important to you that the BMs match, but it might be easier on all of your bridemaids if you select a specific color and material from DB and then let them buy whatever style of dress they would like in that exact color/material you selected. Then you are allowing your BMs to be comfortable while still allowing them to match by color and material (you could even dictate length of dress, if you want it above the knees, etc.). I agree with wegsmom that, for me, the comfort and happiness of family and friends outweighs matching.
Posted by justdance93[/QUOTE]

Totally off topic but your cat looks just like mine. So of course you're cat is very cute.

bruna29 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_the-bridesmaids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:0c47bfbc-a854-4555-a902-ee8fb658e62bPost:62242a29-d6cd-4958-ba6d-566a0fa42366">Re: The bridesmaid's wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The bridesmaid's wedding? : Totally off topic but your cat looks just like mine. So of course you're cat is very cute.
Posted by Ciardasully[/QUOTE]
Thank you! He is a cutie, and he totally knows it. :)

vexie · February 2012

umm... didn't i just read a post with this exact same story but from the side of the BM??

You two seriously need to stop posting on forums and have a heart to heart chat about the situation. She's your FI's sister... you need to do whatever you can to accomodate her and make her feel comfortable on your wedding day. What's wrong with letting her choose her own dress in your colours if it keeps the peace in the family?

ksulliva135 · February 2012

VEXIE, I was about to say the exact same thing.... This sounds HIGHLY familiar... Ladies, the Internet is like liquid courage... You can take things out on eachother without ever even looking face to face. You need to sit down and talk and figure it out like an adult, not a facebook teen...

bruna29 · February 2012

Yep. You guys are right. Nice catch.

See this thread. It's the exact same situation but from the BM's point of view:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_ps-bm-about-to-be-sized-out-of-the-wedding

OP - my original response to you does not change. Give her a color/fabric to match and let her choose her own dress.

Amt2109 · February 2012

Wish I'd quoted...

But I guess the BM directed her here after all

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