Community› Local Wedding Boards› North Carolina
North Carolina
New Discussion

When to choose...

jennieweaver1jennieweaver1 member
First Comment
in North Carolina
Hi everyone! So, I have read(pretty much everywhere) not to pick your bridesmaids too early in the game, and it is true, a lot can change in just a year (or even just a few months) time. So I haven't officially picked any bridesmaids yet. We are about 7 months out, so I figure I should probably get to it soon? Right? 

Also, to make the situation a bit more complicated, my Matron of Honor lives in Alaska and is not sure she will be able to come to the wedding. I have picked another Matron of Honor friend of mine if she can't come, but haven't spoke to the "alternate" MOH about it yet. Question is, do I ask her if she will be my MOH if my best friend from Alaska can't make it? I feel like that could be awkward, and would definitely like to avoid that. My friend in Alaska probably wont be able to let me know until a few months before if she can come because of finances, so I don't want to have to wait that long to have a MOH if it ends up she can't come. Just not really sure of etiquette in this situation. Any advice is helpful :) Hope everyone is having a good day! Happy Hump Day!


Wedding Countdown Ticker
image 135 Invited
image 105 are ready to party! image 30 have better things to do image0 need to check their mailboxes!
RSVP Date: Sept 08
http://jennieweaver.blogspot.com/
Report Reply to Post

Re: When to choose...

  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think 6 months is a good time frame to pick / let your girls (or guys) know. That way, you've got pleanty of time to pick dresses and make sure all is set.

    However, I would NOT do an alternate MOH. It's like the whole AB wedding guest list. If you'd like both to be a MOH have two. It's been done pleanty of times before and with no issues. If you want just one MOH then ask your friend in Alaska. If she can't come, she can't come, but she can still be a MOH from far away :)

    I hope that doesnt sound snippy. I'm just a not a fan of the 'alternate WP' deal.

    HTH! And Good luck! :)
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • uneek1323uneek1323 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think 6-8 months is a good time to ask people to be in your wedding. It gives them time to save money if needed. 
    I'm weird and asked mine over a year out, BUT mine are all family (and close family) so I knew there wouldn't any drama issues and there's only 2 of them. Also, I had to plan super early because I was moving across the country.

    I agree with PP about the alternate MOH.
    **TTCAL** A little Irish cuteness- Cillian Murphy
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC #1 since December 2011
    Dx: Hypothyroidism, PCOS, one test away from confirming DOR
    BFP #1 1/16/12 EDD 9/16/12 m/c 1/26/12 }Sweet Pea{
    BFP #2 10/18/12 EDD 6/29/13 cp 10/24/12 }Bug{
    BFP #3 11/22/12 EDD 8/1/13 m/c 12/7/12 }Turkey{
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Mah Chart * Mah Literary Blog * Mah Other Blog
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic image
    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
    Report Reply
  • meredithl618meredithl618 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I asked my BMs about a year out, but that was because we were engaged for a while, and I was ready by the time a year came.   At 7 months, yes, you should pick your BMs soon.  

    As for the MOH situation, I wouldn't put yourself in an awkward situation by trying to replace the MOH if she can't come.  You should ask who you want to be MOH and bridesmaids and not worry about replacing people if they can't come. Think about how the replacement will feel, that they weren't the first choice, etc.  If you def. want to have a MOH and are concerned about not having one if the Alaska girl can't come, I'd ask both her and the other to be MOHs. It would be fine if you had 2 MOHs and in the case that Alaska girl can't come you still have one, that knew all along.  Does that make sense? Just an idea... 



    ... Newlywed Blog ...
    image

    Wedding Pictures image Planning Blog
    Report Reply
  • jennieweaver1jennieweaver1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's exactly what I was thinking with the MOH deal, tacky, tacky. I just wanted to make sure I was on the right track.  I suppose it's crunch time to ask the ladies. Gah, it is all so real. Thanks girls!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 135 Invited
    image 105 are ready to party! image 30 have better things to do image0 need to check their mailboxes!
    RSVP Date: Sept 08
    http://jennieweaver.blogspot.com/
    Report Reply
  • jennieweaver1jennieweaver1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also, great ideas with having 2 MOH's.. not sure why I didn't think of that! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 135 Invited
    image 105 are ready to party! image 30 have better things to do image0 need to check their mailboxes!
    RSVP Date: Sept 08
    http://jennieweaver.blogspot.com/
    Report Reply
  • jmp0930jmp0930
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_choose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:95f8634a-5cd7-45c0-a134-55c9455df3c4Post:a3e91dd3-8c6b-4ff4-ad25-f2e9623228bc">Re: When to choose...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think 6 months is a good time frame to pick / let your girls (or guys) know. That way, you've got pleanty of time to pick dresses and make sure all is set. However, I would NOT do an alternate MOH. It's like the whole AB wedding guest list. If you'd like both to be a MOH have two. It's been done pleanty of times before and with no issues. If you want just one MOH then ask your friend in Alaska. If she can't come, she can't come, but she can still be a MOH from far away :) I hope that doesnt sound snippy. I'm just a not a fan of the 'alternate WP' deal. HTH! And Good luck! :)
    Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!
    Photobucket

    Report Reply
  • sksitessksites
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm having a smaller bridal party (my sister and 3 other girls) and the three girls are my best friends so I chose them pretty soon after getting engaged (year out from the wedding). I was so excited I couldn't wait to ask them :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards