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Church as a Gift

shawnandmaryanneshawnandmaryanne member
10 Comments
in Ohio-Northeast

My FI talked to our pastor this morning with a whole list of things that I had for him to ask him.  One of the things, of course, was how much would the church be.  Pastor told FI that as his/church's gift to us, he was not going to charge us at all (Pastor knows how much we are saving for this wedding).  However, I dont feel right using it for free (esp. on a Saturday afternoon and it's his granddaughter's 3rd bday too).  Has anyone else gotten this response?  We are regular members of the church.  I want to do something for him/the church, but I dont want to offend him or take away his blessings.  I would like to know what everyone thinks from a "Christian" perspective of taking away blessings and a secular of what is etiquette?

PLEASE HELP

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Re: Church as a Gift

  • jaylii9jaylii9 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My thought is tell him that you are so appreciative of the gift, but would still like to make a general donation to the church. See how he feels about the donation to the church and proceed if he is OK with the idea.
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  • JKohioJKohio member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp. Typically, church members are exempt from any 'rental' fees associated with using the church for a wedding. A donation to the church would be very much appreciated, I'm sure.

    Just to give you an idea, we were married at a church where we weren't members. The 'officiant fee' for that was $150, plus we paid an additional $200 that went toward staff, facilities costs, etc. $50 of that was refundable (a security deposit, if you will). If we had used their organist, it would have been $150 more, IIRC. (We used our own musicians.)

    Good luck sorting it out!
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  • starshine985starshine985 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the first post.  However, I was married at a church of which I was a member, but I still had fees that I had to pay... $150 for the officiant, $10 for each server, etc.  I don't know if being a member necessarily matters - it wasn't an option for us if we wanted to use the church.  However, I can't see a church turning down a donation.  That's certainly worth a try!  If he still doesn't accept, you could always send in an "anonymous" donation so that at least you feel like you've contributed.  :)
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