input please re: timeline

mamameech · March 2012

I saw an episode of 4 weddings recently where the brides docked marks off another bride's wedding because of the delay between the ceremony and the reception. I know it's not really a competition but I'm a perfectionist so that bothered me because we did plan on having a delay due to ceremony at 2pm and cocktails at 6pm. Despite everything taking place downtown where are many things to do to occupy the time (it's a gorgeous time of year here, for stuff in and outdoors), I would rather a nice flow to the day.I guess where I'm torn is with FI seeing before the wedding. He's against it, and so was I, but another part of me would love to have our first "sight" as something intimate too; a moment where we can be together before everyone else is involved and hopefully when we can calm each other down. If we saw each other before the ceremony, we would have time to do all the photos with family before the ceremony and then we could always do our "alone" shots while guests head over to the reception venue and have cocktail hour. What I'm thinking of as well is that people can't always check into room until later in the day, so this would allow people to check-in, get ready and head to the church without as much hassle.
For those of you with delays, what are your guests doing in between? Do you have something arranged for them? How much of delay do you have?
For those of you with no delay, when are you doing pictures? How much time are you allotting? Are you seeing FI before the ceremony?
TIA for your input!

*on a side note, I did try to apply for 4 weddings Canada, but they were only doing the Toronto area and Ottawa was too far **

MissOwl · March 2012

If you can reduce the time, I would, even if it means ending your reception earlier. Although, if you have the option to move your ceremony time back a smidge and do a first look instead, I would.

Here's our (current and rough) timeline if it helps:

7-10: hair/makeup/get dressed
10-12: me, FI and bridal party hop on trolley and take pics around town
12-1245: immediate family photos on the altar at church
1245-115: hide away, freshen up and eat a snack while guests arrive
130-230: GET MARRIED!
230-245: guests filter outside
245: grand exit; bride, groom and bridal party take trolley to reception site
3-4: extended family photos at the reception site while guests have cocktails and apps; guests will trickle into cocktail hour- many are checking into hotels around 3, so we're doing a cocktail 90 minutes instead
4-430: cocktail hour continues while we get a quick snack and drink in the bridal party room at venue
430: receiving line - guests move from cocktails to main space
500: guests take seats, bridal party and bride and groom announced, first dance, welcome/prayer
515ish: stations open
630: cut cake, parents dances
640: dancefloor opens
700: dessert table rolled out (including freshly cut cake)
900: last dance

Jessicanell09 · March 2012

Well, we are starting later. Guests can check into the hotel at 3 p.m. or earlier if the room is ready, so we wanted to give people time to get checked in and dressed. I don't have a timelime yet for hair/makeup,etc. But, here is what we have:

5 - 5:30 p.m. - Ceremony
5:45-6:45/7ish - Pictures while guests make way to reception for cocktail hour from 6:00-7:00 (we don't call it a "cocktail hour" around here, but that is essentially what it is, drinks and appetizers, it just sounds funny to me

and we are not doing a "first look")
7:00-8:30 - Dinner
8:30-8:45 - Cake Cutting, Toasts
9:00-12:00 - Dancing and Fun!

mamameech · March 2012

We can't start cocktail hour until 6pm (venue is public so only becomes "ours" at 6) so the ceremony will have to be later. Our reception runs until 1AM.

I do like the way you have things planned out missowl - I'm not very traditional so I'm not sure why this is so hard for me!

akbrown19 · March 2012

Our ceremony is scheduled for 3 PM and is supposed to be an hour and ten minutes including a short receiving line. Our cocktail hour doesn't start until 5:30 (about 1.5 hrs after ceremony ends) but it's a 25 minute drive to the reception location. FMIL was concerned that OOT guests wouldn't be able to check in before the ceremony (trying to arrange something with the hotel but it's not guaranteed) so she wanted to give people time to get to their rooms and use the hotel shuttle to the reception venue. That leaves about a half hour of down time for people when you factor in drive time, and I think people can figure out what to do with themselves for that short time. I'll try to have our reception venue set up early so people can mingle and eat apps, but the bar just wouldn't open until 5:30.

FI and I both agreed that we really want to wait to see each other. I think that's really the only thing I've ever pictured when imagining my future wedding - the doors opening and seeing my man at the end of the aisle. It literally gives me goosebumps now thinking about it! But really, I see why people do a first look and how it can be intimate and still exciting. For us, personally, we just wanted to keep with tradition because it's exciting and meaningful for both of us.

My biggest suggestion is to talk to your photographer - I was really worried we wouldn't have enough time for pictures (church kicks us out 30 minutes after the ceremony to begin clean up) but she said 30 minutes was no problem and we'd have plenty of time to get all the shots we want. We'll just do our best to get as many group shots as possible before the ceremony (me and my BMs, me and mom, FI and his brother, etc).

Wow that was long -- HTH!

mamameech · March 2012

No worries akbrown! I appreciate the input - no matter the length!!
I'll send off an email to my photog for some input too.

lnhassel · March 2012

Unfortunately we are having a delay between the ceremony and reception as well. With the catholic church ceremony times are either 2pm or 7pm due to standard 5pm mass on Saturdays. With 7pm being too late for us to still serve a full dinner we chose 2pm.

We are having cocktail hour go from 5-6 with the reception starting at 6 which will leave us with about a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and cocktail hour. On our website we put a bunch of local things for people to do however it is likely that most of our out of town guests will return to their hotel and drop off their car and freshen up.

We have a shuttle to take them from their hotel to the reception so I believe this is what most will do so as to not have to drive later in the evening. All of our local guests will likely hit up a bar to pregame a little or watch some college football in between.

We are doing a first look and I am VERY excited about it. I think I will need to see FI so that he can calm me down a bit before so my nerves dont get the best of me! But we will also be doing a few pictures together before the ceremony just FI and I the rest of the pictures with family and bridal party will be done afterwards.

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

I am all for guests having a great experience BUT if it is important for you and FI to not see each other before I think this trumps the guests' opinion of it. It is YOUR day after all. If you are going to have a delay, I think more time is better than less actually. Something like an hour delay is awkward because if you need time to travel to the reception what do you do with 30 min or 40 minutes of time? Something like 4 hours gives people time to check in like you said or look around the area. I think just give a variety of suggestions of what people can do. I went to a wedding not too long ago and in between the ceremony and reception (had about 5 hours) we all went back to my grandpas house and ate pizza, grabbed a nap, and watched a football game. It really didn't affect my perception of their wedding at all!

We are not having a gap and did not want to see each other. We are doing all of the picutres that don't include both of us before (me with BM, me with my fam, him with GM, him with his fam, solo portrait shots). All that will be left after the ceremony (to do during cocktail hour) will be pics of the two of us, pics of us with WP, and pics with us and both families.

jessa1228 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_input-please-re-timeline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:80ad8b34-0b84-4527-83a4-a2ae3c9fc16aPost:363df00e-c133-4ac4-b71c-a76036639ca2">input please re: timeline</a>:
[QUOTE]For those of you with no delay, when are you doing pictures? How much time are you allotting? Are you seeing FI before the ceremony? TIA for your input!
Posted by mamameech[/QUOTE]

<div>We are going to do a "first look" before the ceremony, followed by the majority of our pictures. Then after the ceremony, we're going to do the rest of the pictures (which shouldn't take very long) and then go enjoy our cocktail hour. As for time, I forget what my photogs said but I think it was 2 hours before the ceremony.</div>

romamor4 · March 2012

We're doing a first look. FI and I really wanted to do it this way because we wanted to have an intimate moment together when we first see each other. Also, we really wanted to get pictures done and over with before the festivities begin. We'll probably start First Look/pics around 2 pm. This gives us a bit of time to relax before the ceremony at 5 pm. The cocktail hour starts at 6:30 pm and we will be joining our guests there. Reception goes until midnight.

mamameech · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_input-please-re-timeline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:80ad8b34-0b84-4527-83a4-a2ae3c9fc16aPost:67c1895d-743c-460f-8851-57e8bc3bddfa">Re: input please re: timeline</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing a first look. FI and I really wanted to do it this way because we wanted to have an intimate moment together when we first see each other. Also, we really wanted to get pictures done and over with before the festivities begin. We'll probably start First Look/pics around 2 pm. This gives us a bit of time to relax before the ceremony at 5 pm. The cocktail hour starts at 6:30 pm and we will be joining our guests there. Reception goes until midnight.
Posted by romamor4[/QUOTE]

see this sounds perfect to me! maybe I can convince FI.... we'll see :P

DirtyWater · March 2012

We are going to do a "first touch" if that makes sense. Instead of seeing each other we're doing that door thing alone with the photographer. Where he is on one side and I'm on the other, that way we can talk and hold hands.

5-5:30: Ceremony
5:30-6:30: Cocktail Hour
6:30-6:45: Everyone is seated
6:45-7: Entrances
7-7:15: Meals are served
End of dinner-11PM will be dancing

We'll try to extend it to 12 or 1AM

Starfish0116 · March 2012

Well, I guess it depends on if that is the norm in your circle.

Having that large of a gap would be a dealbreaker for me. FI's family is all from up North and they're all Catholic. To them, having a large gap is no big deal. For me, my family, and even our mutual friends (since FI has lived "down here" for 12+ years) it is unheard of to have such a large gap.

Personally, the last wedding I attended with a gap sucked. Not that the wedding wasn't nice (it was!) it was just the gap was aweful. It was a family wedding, and went with family to a local restaurant for food/apps and sat around for a couple of hours before going to the reception location. We of course had to be there early, so FI could be in family pics, but even that left too much of a gap.

I'm sure it's nice weather when you're getting married and the town might be lovely but the last thing I want to do when I'm dressed for a wedding is sight-see, shop, or go "do stuff".

Aside from changing your ceremony, which since it's Catholic I'm guessing isn't an option, the only other choice would be to change the reception or just go with what you have. Like I said, if that's the norm in your area don't worry about it, your guests will be used to it.

Starfish0116 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_input-please-re-timeline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:80ad8b34-0b84-4527-83a4-a2ae3c9fc16aPost:363df00e-c133-4ac4-b71c-a76036639ca2">input please re: timeline</a>:
[QUOTE]For those of you with no delay, when are you doing pictures? How much time are you allotting? Are you seeing FI before the ceremony?
Posted by mamameech[/QUOTE]

<div>We're doing the majority of our pics before the ceremony, but will also be doing some afterwards as well.</div><div>
</div><div>4:30pm ceremony start</div><div>5:30 Cocktail Hour</div><div>6:30/6:45 Announce and first dance</div><div>7pm Dinner</div><div>Dancing and other stuff to follow</div><div>
</div><div>Our ceremony will probably last around 20 minutes, and I'm seriously considering the reciving line at the end of it. Then we'll do a few more pics of me and FI and head to the recpetion. </div><div>
</div><div>That being said, we're keeping family pics simple. Not a huge bunch of extended family. Just immediate family + grandparents. As a photographer myself, it's not that hard to roll through the family/bridal party shots quickly if you have the situation under control. </div>

mamameech · March 2012

Starfish, I am catholic but the ceremony is at a Lutheran church (FI's church). We can have the ceremony later if we wish (no 5pm "mass" for them). We could do a later afternoon ceremony at like 4:30 pm which would give people time to get from the ceremony to the reception venue for 6 pm (service would be about an hour).
There is no way we'd have time to do family pics and our pics in that time frame, but we could do just "our" pics and family before the ceremony.
It's something to consider anyway. I'm really not liking the gap even though it's what I'm accustom to. I guess that's the non-traditionalist side of me.

MissOwl · March 2012

so jealous of those of you with later timelines. i wish our ceremony was just two hours later!

good luck deciding meech!

Starfish0116 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_input-please-re-timeline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:80ad8b34-0b84-4527-83a4-a2ae3c9fc16aPost:0789c768-f54f-439f-baf3-b1177fc743b8">Re: input please re: timeline</a>:
[QUOTE]Starfish, I am catholic but the ceremony is at a Lutheran church (FI's church). We can have the ceremony later if we wish (no 5pm "mass" for them). We could do a later afternoon ceremony at like 4:30 pm which would give people time to get from the ceremony to the reception venue for 6 pm (service would be about an hour). There is no way we'd have time to do family pics and our pics in that time frame, but we could do just "our" pics and family before the ceremony. It's something to consider anyway. I'm really not liking the gap even though it's what I'm accustom to. I guess that's the non-traditionalist side of me.
Posted by mamameech[/QUOTE]

<div>Ah! Got it. I think I must of missed somewhere that you could change the time.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't see any reason your photographer can't fit in your photos in an hour, I do it all the time. How many people are you planning on wanting to include in formals? I tell all my brides (and will be doing it myself) to keep it simple. Immediate family + grandparents. </div><div>
</div><div>If you can't talk your FI into a first look, I'd suggest doing everything before hand that doesn't require you together. Each of you with your families, and you with your bridal party. That way after the ceremony you only need you together with your families and bridal party (shouldn't take more than 30 min max) and 30 for you and your DH. </div>

BMcLeodTeam · March 2012

We are lucky with everything being on the resort. When the wedding ends the guests go to a 2 hour cocktail hour with music, hors d'heuvres, etc, at which time we are taking photos on the resort grounds (eliminating the travel to and from photos will buy you A LOT of time!) Then they will all be shuttled to the other end of the resort for the reception, which we will arrive shortly after for our grand entrance.

bridalmomma · March 2012

Not having a gap and not seeing each other. Doing all picutres that don't include both B & G before (bride with BM, Bride with fam, Groom with GM, Groom with fam, solo pics). All that will be left after the ceremony (to do during cocktail hour) will be pics of the B & G, pics of B & G with WP, and pics with B & G and both families. Here is what the time line looks like:

2:15 pm – 3:00 pm Photos: Bride and bridesmaids All other pics w/out groom! 3:00 pm – 3:15 pm Photos: Groom and groomsmen All other pics w/out bride! 4:10 pm – 4:25 pm Prelude/Guests arrive 4:30 pm – 4:50 pm Wedding Ceremony 5:00 pm – 6:15 pm Photos: Bride & Groom Pics alone & with WP & with families 5:00 pm - 6:10 pm Cocktail Hour/ Bride, Groom and Bridal Party announced 6:15 pm- 6:30 Cake Cutting 6:35 pm – 7:30 pm Buffet Dinner /Toasts and Thank You’s to families/ First Dance while Buffet Dinner served
7:30 pm – 10:30 pm Father Daughter Dance/Mother Son DanceOpen Dancing/Mingling

10:30 pm Last Call for Alcohol (we want safe driving!)
11:30 pm Reception ends
After party at hotel!!

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_input-please-re-timeline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:80ad8b34-0b84-4527-83a4-a2ae3c9fc16aPost:be95691f-5b13-4152-ace2-2c20e349f2a1">Re: input please re: timeline</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We are going to do a "first touch" if that makes sense. Instead of seeing each other we're doing that door thing alone with the photographer</strong>. Where he is on one side and I'm on the other, that way we can talk and hold hands. 5-5:30: Ceremony 5:30-6:30: Cocktail Hour 6:30-6:45: Everyone is seated 6:45-7: Entrances 7-7:15: Meals are served End of dinner-11PM will be dancing We'll try to extend it to 12 or 1AM
Posted by DirtyWater[/QUOTE]

We are going to do this too! Along with all the pics that don't include both of us. Everything is in one spot for us so there isn't a gap.

Here was my inspiration for this idea:

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/1/573a4cd5-c4e6-4771-9116-598b438a8df8.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/1/573a4cd5-c4e6-4771-9116-598b438a8df8.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

mamameech · March 2012

I think we have a solution! I chatted with the photog, and if we have the ceremony at 4pm, we will have plenty of time for pics with and without family.
The ceremony is roughly 45mins, and the by the time we come out, see everyone and get off in the cars, it would prob be about 5:15pm.
Cocktails start at 6pm, so this would allow everyone to get to the venue without rushing and doesn't leave a big gap. I think it gives the event a better flow and FI and I still don't have to see each other before the ceremony.

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

That's great!!!! I was kinda hoping you wouldn't push FI into seeing you before. Not because I didn't want you to have your way haha but I figured it must really be important to him. I originally wanted to do a first look and get pics out of the way but FI was so insistent on not. When I asked him he said he just could picture me at the end of the aisle and that being the first time he saw me. And, he said he could see his mom nearly breaking her neck trying to look back and forth between the two of us for our reactions and it was important to him she have that excitement. It was so sweet and sentimental, how could I say no! I'm glad you guys can have everything you want! It's so nice when everything works out :-)

input please re: timeline

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