this is the code for the render ad
May 2012 Weddings

I cant believe my venue put me in this position...

So, long story short. The owner of my venues brother tragically died in an accident couple days ago. I was talking to another lady that worked at the venue who told me that since C (owner of my venue) is dealing with this hard time that she would be my contact person, we'll call her K. So I talked to K yesterday about details for the wedding day, everything was great.
In our contract we get the venue for my rehearsal 4-5:45 on Friday. The wedding is Saturday. After the rehearsal my In laws have booked a dinner at a vineyard at 6.
Well I just got a call from C, the owner of the venue, asking me if I could move my rehearsal times on Friday. She put me in a SUPER awkward position. She was wanting to use the venue for her brothers wake after the funeral for her family and asked if I could move my rehearsal back!
Theres no way this can work out. We already have the vineyard booked for dinner. Then what are we supposed to do about a rehearsal!?? Just have it at 8 at night? I think thats crazy! We have a ton of people who had to ask off early from work to be able to make the rehearsal at 4.
Now dont get me wrong. I am deeply saddened and sorry for her loss. But for her to call her customer who is paying her THOUSANDS of dollars for this venue, and then she calls me 3 days before when I've had this venue booked for over a year, and is asking me to change my times. I'm just at a loss. This is the last thing I want to deal with 4 days before my wedding. And again, I feel so bad for being like this but I feel like the position she just put me in was very uncalled for. So I called K and tried figuring out what to do. She said that we can just keep our times the same. Theres just no way at the last minute we can change times and try to figure all these details out again. What would you girls have done? Do you think I'm a total biotch for not moving my rehearsal time back??

March Siggy: Our Furbabies Thunder and Tinkerbelle photo 576844_10151220437472389_274194501_n.jpg PhotobucketPhotobucket
He put a ring on it!!! 12-12-10! Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
For Sale Bio

Re: I cant believe my venue put me in this position...

  • I don’t think you are.  I think it’s just bad timing.  I’m sure “C” wants to have the wake in a place where she is more comfortable, and it’s unfortunate that she already rented the space to you.

     

    Is there any way to move the dinner a little?

     

    I wouldn’t be happy either.  I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

      
    image
  • I dont think we can move the dinner. My FIs parents already booked a private dinner at 6. And I dont want to bother my FI parents right now because they are dealing with health issues with FMIL parents right now. And I dont to add stress to my FMIL :(

    March Siggy: Our Furbabies Thunder and Tinkerbelle photo 576844_10151220437472389_274194501_n.jpg PhotobucketPhotobucket
    He put a ring on it!!! 12-12-10! Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    For Sale Bio
  • Then I think you are stuck timing wise.  Even if you wanted to help her out, there isn’t much you can do.

     

    Relax, it will work out. 

      
    image
  • That is so harsh... Is there any way to just change the place, i realize it is important to be at the location - for various reasons, but it may help with the time constraints. Maybe the Vineyard has a space you may utilize.  It maybe possible to ask for a refund of the amount of the contract for the rehearsal to accomodate her wants.  Unfortunately, a loss like that is never easy and business does not come before family.
    I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this just a few days before. I hope it all works out for you.

  • I'd call to ask and at least see if the dinner can be moved back. Explain that there was an unexpected death and that is the reason for the move. If they cannot move it then at least you tried. But, honestly, I think a death takes priority over a rehearsal and dinner and the times they begin. People can be understanding of a death. It might completely suck for the plans you had but at the end of the day, moving things back isn't going to hurt anything. 

    And if they cannot move it back, just let the venue know but at least you tried. 
  • Also, perhaps ask if the vineyard has a place you can utlizize for 30 mins and do your rehearsal there. I have been to plenty of rehearsals that haven't been at the actual venue and it worked out just fine. Most people can figure out how to walk up an aisle and stand, depsite it not being the same location. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_i-cant-believe-my-venue-put-me-in-this-position?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f7d0ce81-5e90-410f-9bba-536471cf779bPost:cb987191-bc43-4aa8-b0aa-59cbbbc6364c">Re: I cant believe my venue put me in this position...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd call to ask and at least see if the dinner can be moved back. Explain that there was an unexpected death and that is the reason for the move. If they cannot move it then at least you tried. But, honestly, I think a death takes priority over a rehearsal and dinner and the times they begin. People can be understanding of a death. It might completely suck for the plans you had but at the end of the day, moving things back isn't going to hurt anything.  And if they cannot move it back, just let the venue know but at least you tried. 
    Posted by leahstinson[/QUOTE]

    This.  IMO you would be rude and inconsiderate if you did not at least try.  Think you are going to be all cheery la la happy in a couple of days in THEIR venue with THEIR sad faces on the still raw loss of their family member.  Your little sacrifice would help them a lot. 
  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_i-cant-believe-my-venue-put-me-in-this-position?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f7d0ce81-5e90-410f-9bba-536471cf779bPost:cb987191-bc43-4aa8-b0aa-59cbbbc6364c">Re: I cant believe my venue put me in this position...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd call to ask and at least see if the dinner can be moved back. Explain that there was an unexpected death and that is the reason for the move. If they cannot move it then at least you tried. But, honestly, I think a death takes priority over a rehearsal and dinner and the times they begin. People can be understanding of a death. It might completely suck for the plans you had but at the end of the day, moving things back isn't going to hurt anything.  And if they cannot move it back, just let the venue know but at least you tried. 
    Posted by leahstinson[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. I would atleast try to push the dinner back by an hour. Do you really need an hour and 45 minutes for rehersal? Ours will be 30 mins max., plus I had to move it back to a later time as well.  I would give it a try, and if not then you tried. It can't hurt. And I doubt anyone will be stressed by moving up an hour.
  • I personally think why does she need the exact time you need.  I may sound harsh too but seriously Could she do the wake earlier or later?  You have 1 hr and 45 min booked for your rehearsal.  That seems long to me, our will be an hour or less.  Maybe you could start at 4:45 and give her an extra 45 mins?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I would honestly try to move the dinner, Or move the rehearsal up since most ppl already have the day off maybe do it in the morning or a couple hours earlier.

    I think in her time of need it would be a kind thing to do. Especially since the death wasn't a planned thing she may not even have the money or space to get a facility to host the wake on such short notice.

    Try to at least move it, It would be kind of you and help her family a great deal. And in return i'm sure you will be blessed for it.

     

  • I'm doing what I can with the circumstances and time that I have. I just pray for her family and that everything works out. Thanks for the advice girls.
    March Siggy: Our Furbabies Thunder and Tinkerbelle photo 576844_10151220437472389_274194501_n.jpg PhotobucketPhotobucket
    He put a ring on it!!! 12-12-10! Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    For Sale Bio
  • Honestly, you are fully within your rights and consideration for your family to keep your schedule. There is no reason this should have been elevated to your problem. They put you in a horribly awkward situation. They most likely were not thinking of the affects that would have on other things such add your guests, officiant, and dinner plans. Consider do you have any little ones in your party that couldn't do a late dinner. So my bottom line is while if it had no affect on your group I would try to move... If it does have an affect then your primary obligation is to your guests.
  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is exactly why you have a contract. You do not need to move you plans. It is harsh, but it was very unprofessional of C to ask you to move your rehearsal. You are not C's friend or family. You have a client/ customer relationship.

    COS had a good point, C probably wasnt thinking about how big of an inconvenience it would be for you to move you rehearsal and dinner. I would not go out of my way to make this work for a stranger 3 days before my wedding. If it is easy to move your Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner (which doesn't seems to be the case) then do it. If not, tell C sorry, you tried and move on.

    There are other places to host a wake. And you have other things to worry about 3 days before your wedding.

    (I am aware that this is going to be an unpopular opinion)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I think anyone in your situation would have felt the way you did, which is why its so helpful to have an outlet of amazing women to help put things into perspective.
    Hopefully you both are able to work things out with the timing.
    imageAnniversary Follow Me on Pinterest
  • Sorry to hear about the terrible situation, both for you and for your venue.  PPs have good suggestions, honestly either way I don't think there is a perfect solution.
    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • While it may be the considerate thing to do, I too believe you are under no obligation to move your rehearsal and dinner.  Of course it would be a nice move on your part, but you do have a contract.  And even though family comes before business, your contract still remains.  I say if you want to move your rehearsal (time and/or place) then by all means do it.  If you do move it and want to request a refund, then you're within your rights.  But if you try to move the time or place and aren't able to, then just be upfront and honest and let 'C' know as soon as possible that you can't accomodate her request.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_i-cant-believe-my-venue-put-me-in-this-position?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f7d0ce81-5e90-410f-9bba-536471cf779bPost:e1e67a7b-bdcf-4b63-92ca-cfd55b9fbbca">Re: I cant believe my venue put me in this position...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry to hear about the terrible situation, both for you and for your venue.  <strong>PPs have good suggestions, honestly either way I don't think there is a perfect solution.</strong>
    Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this. I would choose the solution that you can live with, and isn't one that makes you feel guilty...</div>
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards