mo

misssunshine17 · September 2012

There is so much wrong with this situation. You're upset she's not helping you plan your wedding that is more than a year away? Come on. She is in no way obligated to plan any aspect of your wedding. All she needs to do is buy a dress and show up. You sound incredibly judgey for her life choices. It's also very self-centered to think that she's trying to steal your thunder- that's what high school girls say. You need a reality check.

MyNameIsNot · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-trouble-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fa07421-a60d-44e9-b1f2-28b09ffae6cdPost:8d98c5b1-eabd-49fa-b82d-c333e409e2bb">MOH trouble!</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't think I'd be having so many problems with my MOH. She spent the whole summer in Canada, and while she was there she met a guy she says she's in love with, and within 2 weeks they were "trying to have a baby," thinking about one or the other moving to be together, and talking about baby names and weddings. Then she gets back home and she seems to have lost interest in helping me plan my wedding, even gets annoyed talking about it, and no, I don't talk about it constantly. I've been trying to be considerate to the fact that she misses him. All she talks about is her wedding, and btw, they aren't even engaged. This last week we went to our first official meeting at our chosen venue and went out to celebrate afterward. Right after the toast she annouces that she's eloping with this guy on MY wedding date, one year before!!! Then apologizes for stealing my thunder. WTF!? Why is she doing this?! She says they want to elope THEN have a real wedding the year after, the same yr we are getting married. Then to make it worse, she tells me that her man treats her the way my man treats me, saying that she's found her "Jason" (the name of my fiance) Am I crazy, or is she deliverately stealing my thunder and trying to compete with me? ! This is my MOH, and supposedly my bf. We'll see...
Posted by JayLauMereGonz[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It's not her job to plan your wedding. You should be incredibly grateful that she's helped with anything, not complaining that she's not helping enough or that, god forbid, she wants to talk about her own life too. You are more than a year from your wedding. You shouldn't have even asked anyone to be in it yet, much less be asking her to plan things with you. </div><div>
</div><div>The "thunder stealing" comments are just preposterous. You don't own a date, and you are ridiculous for caring if she elopes a year before you. Your wedding is not the center of her world. </div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, you really need to grow up and get your priorities in order. You are about to ruin a friendship over your ridiculousness. I hate when people go to the jealousy card, but it honestly sounds like you are jealous of all the excitement in her life and are terrified that she'll get more attention than you.
</div>

RegallyBlonde · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-trouble-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9fa07421-a60d-44e9-b1f2-28b09ffae6cdPost:8d98c5b1-eabd-49fa-b82d-c333e409e2bb">MOH trouble!</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't think I'd be having so many problems with my MOH. She spent the whole summer in Canada, and while she was there she met a guy she says she's in love with, and within 2 weeks they were "trying to have a baby," thinking about one or the other moving to be together, and talking about baby names and weddings. Then she gets back home and she seems to have lost interest in helping me plan my wedding, even gets annoyed talking about it, and no, I don't talk about it constantly. I've been trying to be considerate to the fact that she misses him. All she talks about is her wedding, and btw, they aren't even engaged. This last week we went to our first official meeting at our chosen venue and went out to celebrate afterward. Right after the toast she annouces that she's eloping with this guy on MY wedding date, one year before!!! Then apologizes for stealing my thunder. <strong>WTF!? Why is she doing this?!</strong> She says they want to elope THEN have a real wedding the year after, the same yr we are getting married. Then to make it worse, she tells me that her man treats her the way my man treats me, saying that she's found her "Jason" (the name of my fiance) Am I crazy, or is she deliverately stealing my thunder and trying to compete with me? ! This is my MOH, and supposedly my bf. We'll see...
Posted by JayLauMereGonz[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Judemental much? You ask why she is doing this? She is doing this, for the exact same reason you are doing this, for the same reason we are all doing this, she is doing it because she has met the man of her dreams and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Certainly not to 'compete with you' </div><div>
</div><div>I agree with the PPs, you sound like a brat, stomping your foot because someone dares to have a life that doesn't revolve around you. You're treating your best friend very poorly, if I were you, I'd apologise to your friend being a biatch and wish her all the best for her life.

</div>

aerinpegadrak · September 2012

You know, I think some people only get married to feed their massive egos and inferiority complexes. It's a goddamn party. You only get to make the world stop for if if you're the future queen of England, because even if you're royalty anywhere else in the world, no one gives a shitt.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

You get ONE day! She's not stealing your thunder. Is what she's doing a little tacky? Sure, but you're overreacting. She's not you personal wedding planner. If you want one, hire one. Instead of being jealous of her why don't you plan your day and let her do her thing.

If it's upsetting you this much, you need to take a few steps back and reevaluate your approach.

Do NOT, however, demote her from being your MOH or kick her out of your wedding, because that would be a friendship ending move. Not that you have considered this, but I can just imagine the post i a few months if her behavior continues to upset you.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

Try to share in her excitement just like you would like her to share in yours. In regards to the wedding date, let it go, it's not like she is asking for a double wedding. Wait to see if they actually do elope & if they do, be happy for her. Then when it gets closer to the time of your wedding stuff where bridesmaids need to be involved like their dress shopping, you can see what is going on with her & her life & where your friendship is at that time. If she is pregnant & living out of state, depending on her due date, she may need to step down due to not being able to travel. Right now she is in dream state, cross the bridges of reality with her as you need to. In the mean time, be happy for her & enjoy your engagment.

Carson386 · September 2012

1-The only job your MOH has to do for your wedding is get the dress and show up on time and sober.
2- You don't get the whole year, if she wants to elope on the same day as your wedding exactly one year before let her do it, you can't stop her.
3-Stop being so judgey about her, I was the MOH in a wedding where they met, were engaged 2 weeks later and got married only 4 months after that... I didn't agree with what they did, but I supported her either way.
4-Let the whole thing go! Just back off of her and give her some space and you take soem space too. I'm not saying kick her out, just take some time apart to let things chill out.

aerinpegadrak · September 2012

As far as the "elope now, party later" plan, yeah, a lot of people disagree with that, but it's their decision to make. And they still have a long way to go; my MOH planned exactly the same thing, then she got pregnant on their honeymoon and her husband lost his job. Their daughter is nearly 4 years old, and still no Big Fluffy Wedding in sight. Life gets in the way, plans change. But regardless, it's absolutely none of your business.

SJM7538 · September 2012

Here are my thoughts...

Your MOH probably chose the wrong time and place to announce that they will be eloping and then having a reception a year later. However, it was totally inappropriate. It's not like she did it AT your wedding. It was a dinner after you visited your venue. So really...she didn't steal your thunder. If she announces on your wedding day that she has eloped well then that can be considered "stealing your thunder." But really that statements is ridiculous.

And instead of thinking of her getting married in the same year as a bad thing....maybe just maybe it could be a fun thing. I would love it if I had someone else to share the wedding planning experience with that cared as much as I do, bc let's face it - no one cares about your wedding as much as you do.

And also...you sound very judgemental about how she met this. Just because they didn't know eachother very long doesn't mean they don't love eachother and aren't right for one another.

I've known my fiance for ten years, when we got together I hadn't seen him in about 3 or 4 years and we moved in together within a month. Everyone's fairytale is different.

Try to see the good in the situation and stop being childish.

SJM7538 · September 2012

Sorry I meant it WASNT totally inappropriate.

Peledreamsofrain · September 2012

Inappropriate and tacky? Yes. Friendship ending and a terrible insult to you? No

It reflected badly on her, not you.

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