Would this be a weird gift?

willywally5 · June 2012

OK, I was asking last night about a gift for my DD and her fiance. I kind of would like to do something that is NOT valuable due to it's expense but because of the thought and such that went into it.

So, recently, I've gotten into genealogy and DD seems to enjoy hearing about it. Would it be an odd gift to research her FI's line as well as hers (she is actually my stepdaughter, so I'd have to do her bio mom's side, too) and do it up in a very nice set of fan charts or an actual family tree drawing and give it to them?

Or is that super geeky and weird and I should be smacked upside the head for such a dumb idea??? ; )

Maybe it'd be a better gift when/if they have a baby?

Thoughts?

Edited to clarify!

ElisabethJoanne · June 2012

You know your daughter. It sounds lovely to me. Mom gave me a copy of the tome geneaology for my maternal grandfather's family as a kind of engagement present. I appreciated it.

But, the research had already been done and related mostly to distant ancestors. I'd be kind of creeped out if someone were researching me without my knowing about it. Also, my maternal grandfather's family was very, umm, normal. Not like my father's family with some people with 2 wives and name changes and other interesting stuff. Interesting, but not something I'd want my in-laws digging into without my knowing/asking.

Also, ethnic issues can be sensitive. Because I belong to an oft-persecuted ethnicity, I hated it when even well-meaning people asked me too much about my geneaology. This can be very regional, too. Here in California, no one asks about my ancestors. I got asked in Virginia all the time.

So, you need to know your daughter and her fiance. Likely, it will be much-appreciated, but maybe you should ask first...?

MairePoppy · June 2012

I think it would be nice for you and your DD to work on this project together. You have mentioned that DD's bio mom is a drama lama, so I'm concerned that she might not react well to you researching her family. Also, how well do you know the FILs? Would they enjoy working on this with you?

willywally5 · June 2012

Wow, I never even thought of that ElisabethJoanne ... excellent point. Definitely should ask first. And, honestly, to really do it right would take more time than I have at this point. (I think today is 77 days away from wedding! YIKES!)

Maybe it'd be a nice gift for later in their marriage and I'll definitely ask first.

I hear you about finding some 'interesting' things among the ancestors ... found some pretty wild stuff in my tree! Very interesting about the regional difference as far as people asking about ancestors.

Thank you so much!

willywally5 · June 2012

@Maire, she might enjoy it someday ... just not until she's done with school for sure!

I am not sure if bio mom would be upset or not. She likely wouldn't even know about it. (DD had to do a very basic family tree in high school and that would be enough to get me started for sure.) I woudln't want to do it if it would upset her.

DD's FI is actually kind of private about his family, now that I think about it.

I think this is one of those ideas that sounded good until I really thought about it. It never occurred to be that it could be viewed as very intrusive. Now it seems like something that should be reviisted later, in a few years perhaps. I'd like to enlist at least their blessing, and ideally, their help.

Thanks ladies!

jnjmommy0609 · June 2012

I think it's very cute and very thoughtful! Nothing wrong with being a bit geeky

I find geneology very interesting and I loved hearing about my family. If someone took the time to do that for me I would be very touched. Especially since I tried doing that myself and wow...it takes some patience!

MairePoppy · June 2012

willywally - my late SIL uncovered her mom's deep, dark secret when she was trying to research her family. It explained why her mom couldn't 'remember' much of her family background. You never know when you start digging, what you are going to find.

OliveOilsMom · June 2012

One of the gifts that my parents gave us was a framed, double surname history with each of our family crests on it. This is similar to the one my parents got for us. Clicky. This would be in the same range of your family history idea.

willywally5 · June 2012

Maire, that is scary and sad. Yet intriguing. I haven't found anything too scandalous so far. That would be very shocking!

Olive, I like that idea. That is cool and has the same 'feel' without being intrusive or anything. If I can find them. Thanks so much ladies!

MairePoppy · June 2012

The deep, dark secret wouldn't be so scandalous these days ; ) It involves fudging on wedding dates and birth dates.

willywally5 · June 2012

Ahhh, gotchya, Maire. I found at least one of those where the dates didn't seem to jive, too. I bet that happened a lot more often than one thinks.

Would this be a weird gift?

Re: Would this be a weird gift?

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