What is 'normal' for a BP?

Re: What is 'normal' for a BP?

• MobKaz member

  

  June 2012

  WillyWally~~I am also a MOB and a soon-to-be MOG.  The answer to your question, in part, may be dependent on the norms of your area.
  
  In our area, the BP "planner" will try to narrow down the specific costs, per attendee,  for the evening.  The invitation may say something along the lines of,
  
  We are going to XYZ Club.  $25 gets you unlimited appetizers and drinks from 8 to 11 PM.  If you want to ride together in the limo, add another $$ to your estimated costs. 
  
  The short answer to your question is, yes, in our area, it is typical to not only pay your own way, but also to toss in a few extra dollars to absorb the bride's cost.  Some girls may not ride in the limo if they live in a different location, and the party venue is close to their home.  Some girls may opt to "pay as they go" if they are not big drinkers. 
  
  For the most part, it's very similar to a regular girls night out, each paying their own way, again, with the exception of absorbing the cost of the bride.

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• willywally5 member

  

  June 2012

  Ah, OK. Well that makes me feel a lot better. I was kind of weirded out by the whole thing of asking them to pay. OK then! THANKS!

  

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• mcskatcat member

  

  June 2012

  I think it depends on the area as well.  In some areas it's expected that everyone will chip in, and in some areas it isn't.  What would be nice as the planning begins is to keep the cost down so that people won't be shellshocked or annoyed when they find out how much their share is.  

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• willywally5 member

  

  June 2012

  It would only be about $20 plus BYOB, so it's not exhorbitant by any means. I was thinking of just paying for the bus myself as a gift my daughter and all the girls. Then they are on their own for beverages and food. Is that out of line? I know parents aren't supposed to throw the party but I just feel like particularly the wedding party girls have spent so much already!

  

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• MobKaz member

  

  June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_what-is-normal-for-a-bp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:af56f1a2-8c10-40a6-a88f-176da4dd1f22Post:6f6c7504-db52-4cdc-ab0f-300551a17731">Re: What is 'normal' for a BP?</a>:
  [QUOTE]It would only be about $20 plus BYOB, so it's not exhorbitant by any means. I was thinking of just paying for the bus myself as a gift my daughter and all the girls. Then they are on their own for beverages and food. Is that out of line? I know parents aren't supposed to throw the party but I just feel like particularly the wedding party girls have spent so much already!
  Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]
  
  I think offering to pay for the bus is a generous and thoughtful idea.  I don't think it is anything akin to hosting or intruding on their event.  I certainly do not see it as "out of line".
  
  All of my daughter's BM's were long time friends.  Although they were all beyond college graduation, some had been friends since elementary or junior high school.  I was very close to many of the girls myself.  Because of that familiarity, I also did a few things on their behalf to either offset some costs or just as gifts of thanks.  Gestures, particularly those with no strings attached, are fun to offer and great to receive!

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• willywally5 member

  

  June 2012

  Very interesting. I am not sure what we will do. Was set on paying for the bus, but if it's the norm for the attendees to do so, I guess we could use that money elsewhere. Am very glad I asked! Maybe you ladies just saved me a few hundred bucks! ; )

  
  

  Thanks so much for the input and I promise that if we don't foot the bill for the bus, we will be very upfront about costs per person! Surprises like that would be awful.

  
  

  
  

  

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