Community› Local Wedding Boards› New Jersey
New Jersey
New Discussion

FI's Stepsister -- include her?

ccandelaccandela member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
in New Jersey
Hey gals, 
My fiance has a younger step sister on his father's side who is 11 years old.  They're not incredibly close and I've seen the girl maybe a handful of times. His father has divorced her mother too and is remarried so I don't know her mother either.  I hadn't really thought about including her but now I'm considering it.  Exclusion of a sibling in a wedding is a no-no right?  That said, I wouldn't really know how to include her -- flower girl? Junior bridesmaid? 

Any advice?  This is kind of an afterthought but I wouldn't want to damage any relationships. 

Thanks in advance, 
Catalina

Report Reply to Post

Re: FI's Stepsister -- include her?

  • Heather822Heather822
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't know how everyone else feels... but I think you should only include people you are close with... and anticipate staying close with.
    Try not to include people out of a sense of obligation (I mean, if you have twin cousins, and you only include one, thats kinda messed up, so I guess there are special circumstances.... but still ~ you know what I mean.)
    In YOUR case, I would vote no... do not ask her just based on the reasons you mentioned. Plus she is only 11... I am sure she is not expecting to be included or would mind. Maybe ask her to hand out programs or something if you really do want to include her in some capacity ~ that might be nice.
    BabyFetus Ticker

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Being married is a real thriller! =)

    Report Reply
  • akmackayakmackay
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't. You don't really know her. Your FI hasn't said he wants her involved. They're divorced. Nope, wouldn't include her.
    *~allie~*

    Report Reply
  • Laurms15Laurms15 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No I wouldn't include her. If you did she would be a Jr. BM, but I don't think its necessary. If it was his sister and he was close to her then yea you should include her it often keeps family peace.
    my bio ~Laurie~
    wedding websites
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • cutiepie12702cutiepie12702
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Was your FI the one who brought the idea of having her in the wedding up? I wouldn't include her unless he specifically asked you to. It would be different if she was a half sister, or someone who he has been very close to over the years - but if that's not the case, there's not reason to have her in your wedding party. I'm having three of my FI's 2nd cousins in our wedding - but only because he asked me to (2 I only met once, and the 3rd I have yet to meet). It's his family so let him make that decision.

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ccandelaccandela member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh gosh, I just realized from that last post that I gave the wrong information!

    She's actually his HALF sister.  I apologize, my family's pretty nuclear so these concepts are a little foreign to me.  

    Does that change anyone's response? I might repost with an edited title... 

    Cat
    Report Reply
  • akmackayakmackay
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    still doesn't change my answer.
    *~allie~*

    Report Reply
  • kwilkinson14kwilkinson14
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would still say no. But again did your FI ask you to include her? Is it causing some tension in his family? Did she say something? If not, then just include her at some point in the day. Like someone suggested handing out programs.
    Report Reply
  • raangoliraangoli
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If you're FI mentioned something about including her, then I think you should. If he isn't close to her nor are you, I don't see the point of it.
    ExerciseMilestone
    Report Reply
  • ccandelaccandela member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the insight ladies.

    kwilkinson14 -- He hasn't said a word.  He's clueless. In fact, when I did bring it up to him he said not to worry about it.  I was just a little more worried about his grandparents or dad being offended.

    But I think you're all right.  They're not close and I shouldn't worry about it...

    I do like the programs idea ;)
    Report Reply
  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't include her.
    Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker imageimage
    Report Reply
  • LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would include her.  It doesn't hurt you in any way and it may do a lot for family interactions in the future.  She buys the dress and the little extra expense you may have to put her in the wedding is minimal.  It may be important to her, you never know.  I mean really what does it hurt?
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards