Post wedding breakfast

kimikins79 · February 2010

So my mother is insistent that we need to do a post wedding breakfast at the hotel the following morning. I called for prices and it is way too expensive, like almost as much as the rehearsal dinner. I think that's crazy.

She says it is tacky if we don't do the breakfast. What do you guys think? I don't think it is tacky at all...I mean the wedding is already way too pricey and there isn't too much extra money on our end, from my parents or his parents. My mom is considering paying for it as an extra, my dad disagrees based upon the current state of the economy, and the existing wedding expenses.

My mother says - post it on the knot and see what the girls say...so girls whadda ya say?

Northstar1808 · February 2010

You're not obligated to host a post wedding breakfast. However, I want to do the same thing so I can spend some time with my relatives before they leave since I don't see them very often. Unfortunately, there is definitely no room in our budget to hold one. So what I plan on doing is holding a "no host/dutch" brunch and if my guests would like to come and have breakfast they can but everyone will pay for their own meal.

Musicheals71 · February 2010

Northstar's idea is good. I'm definitely not doing a next-day breakfast; my budget is tight enough as it is!

Amy4282 · February 2010

My Fiance and I are having something back at our house the next morning. Not sure if this would be an option for you. We are going to do bagels and juice. Nothing too extravagant, but is a great way for everyone to hang out again and not too expensive.

LisaLPharmD · February 2010

My mom is making me do one too, even though I don't want it. I'd rather sleep in after the big day, not jump up and entertain people first thing in the morning. I don't think it's something that guests will be offended if you skip. It might just be the older generation thinking that it's necessary. Things are different these days!

miguelhilary2010 · February 2010

Uh, does the hotel's continental breakfast count? Just kidding

We're not doing a breakfast. The only wedding I went to where they hosted a breakfast, half of us were hung over and didnt really eat!

Did you try contacting any place that holds a regular buffet breakfast? That may run a little cheaper. I also like the idea of hosting bfast at someone's house, but keep it simple.

demarcosjd · February 2010

Although I don't think its mandatory and I'm not sure the exact etiquette I would have to agree with your mom. Every wedding we have been to where a hotel block is involved and guests are staying over a breakfast has been provided the next morning. We are doing this for our guests.

smw42 · February 2010

Have you booked your hotel block yet? You may be able to bundle in the cost of the breakfast with the hotel rate. I know the Marriott offers this and the rate is discounted to $12 instead of the $17 if you pay the day of.

Edit: Sorry I just saw that you only have a month left! So I'm sure it's all booked now, so my suggestion would be to do someone's house. We went to one at the brides' parents house and they made it later on in the morning, like 11am and did a combo of some brunch food and some sandwiches. It was great and we watched them open any gifts they received at the wedding.

kimikins79 · February 2010

Thanks Ladies for the responses. I did block the rooms and I spoke to the catering director and explored all options, even tried to get the lowest price through various methods, but it just isn't cost effective.

I like the idea of doing it at someone's house except to me it takes away from the whole, roll out of bed, head downstairs, grab some food and hit the road for the numerous out of town friends we have (from college) who wouldn't necessary head to my parents house to eat.

The house idea may work just for fam, so I'll suggest it to my mom. She has made up her mind, and is now trying to convince my father to spend the $! UGH!

JSantilli · February 2010

Are you staying at the hotel? My DH and I had the hotel tell us what room we were staying in ahead of time, and we put in the hotel bags that the breakfast would be in our room. We bought muffins, little cakes, and stuff from BJs a few days before, and in the morning my parents went to DD and bought coffee, juice, and bagels. It was great and relatively inexpensive.

We were, however, EXHAUSTED!

kimikins79 · February 2010

J Santilli -I asked the hotel and he said our suite would only fit 5 to 10 people so that option was out. But, do you think it is ok just to have something set up so people can come and grab food and go (just not sit down area)?

I am not sure what to do with this one....

akmackay · February 2010

I've found that when having the day-after breakfast either people are too hungover to eat or just don't show. I was going to do this, but at $30+ a head I quickly scratched it. My mom is having a brunch/BBQ the day after for any family/friends who want to come and hang out, or to cure their hangovers :-) I like the idea of having people come back to your hotel room, but would be careful whether the hotel allows that.

D&J1202 · February 2010

Luckily our hotel had a really nice breakfast buffey built in to the price of the room. They had eggs, meats and waffles besides the usual continetal and a very nice lobby to eat in. It was nice to see the family and friends who stayed over and actually get to have a whole conversation. If anyone hasn't boked I highly recommend the Staybridge Suites Cherry Hill.

Gl with your decision I agree they are usually overpriced. Could you switch to a bigger suite and do it there?

JSantilli · February 2010

hmmm we had a suite booked, so we were able to do it... we just put on the invite "anytime between 9-11" and people filtered in and out. My entire DH's family was out of town, so they stopped by and some of our friends, but that was it. Maybe you can plan to have your room and your parents next to each other to fit more people? Although you may want more privacy on your wedding night!! It wored out well.. and I think you could possibly do it if people just come in and out.

aneresRN · February 2010

I've only been to one wedding that had a day after Brunch. Only a handful of people actual showed, and most of it was family from what I was told (I didn't go). I don't think its an expected thing, and I doubt anyone would think anything of it if you didn't have one. Personally I like the idea of people being able to go back to your house in the morning if they want to for breakfast. Good luck though! Sounds like your mom already has her mind made up.

scrpio421 · February 2010

Option 1: You could use any 2 adjorning rooms, like your MOH and BM for instance, that way you can still get your privacy and not have to host it in your suit. I think you'll find most people will just be interested in coffee.

Option 2:You could let your guests know you'll be meeting at a local breakfast place at a certain time and let the restaurant know you may have X amount of people. Most likely if you did have to pay for it, it won't end up being 30pp (more like 10-15 at the most). If your a large party they would probably just give your your own room or section of the restaurant anyway.

Good luck.

sgdc2011 · February 2010

I'm going to be honest. I went to a wedding where they did not have a brunch and I was pretty annoyed. I came from out of town and had to go find somewhere to go eat. We are having breakfast at the hotel. We are giving out coupons in the OOT bags and that way whoever goes to eat gives the coupon and we pay.. if people miss the breakfast or don't want it, we aren't paying extra for people that don't show up.

I think for people that are taking time out of their lives to stay over a night for your wedding you should provide SOMETHING.. even if it's just a bagel and juice.

Jessie888 · February 2010

If you arent interested in the breakfast, i would just put your foot down and say its unnecessary. I can totally understand being tired and just want the social activity to simmer the day after.

my cousin's wedding had a breakfast, but it really was just the parents, bridal party, and a few family. We all chipped in and split the meal. I must say it was nice, but i was a little tired and no one really talked! lol!

We are not planning one for my wedding. We have an area at our venue (its a bed and breakfast) where this a porch right outside our rooms, so we are just going to all eat together out on the porch. so no need to get dressed and such, just come out in your pjs!

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