Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion

Engagement Party

ccvasquezccvasquez member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
It is my understanding that the engagement party is given a few months after the engagement by the Bride's family, and the purpose if for both families to meet each other. 

1.  My dad - the FOB is not in the picture (or available) to throw the party or help plan
2. My mom is not wanting to dictate anything (wants to let the bride decide what she wants to do)

So, is it okay for the me (the bride) to plan the engagement party?  I just want a lunch or dinner, something simple at my aunt's house with family and my FI.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Engagement Party

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No, you should not plan or host your own party. It says, "Hey! Everybody come celebrate me!"
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • ccvasquezccvasquez member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited January 2013
    Isn't the engagement party to a) announce the engagement and b) have families meet each other?
    We just wanted family and a few close friends.  We are paying for everything, so it made sense for us to be planning the engagement party, and the wedding. 
    Report Reply
  • Jager1219Jager1219 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Not everyone has an engagement party and many times gifts are given to the couple at these parties which is why it's not appropriate for one to host their own engagement party (same concept for showers).  If you're purpose is a "meet and greet", then have just that.  A meet and greet get together with the families.
    Report Reply
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-33?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ac232dc3-7ce6-4b3b-949f-c1f044d19d40Post:9a149481-f16d-4dd1-8332-92fc6fe37d0e">Re: Engagement Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Isn't the engagement party to a) announce the engagement and b) have families meet each other? We just wanted family and a few close friends.  We are paying for everything, so it made sense for us to be planning the engagement party, and the wedding. 
    Posted by ccvasquez[/QUOTE]
    Your engagement has already been announced.

    You also don't need a whole party for the families to meet.
     The engagement party can be used as a way for the families to meet and maybe that's what you meant?

    I say go ahead and have a party or a get together or a shindig or what ever. Invite who ever you want. Just don't call it an "engagement party" because that's misleading.
    image
    Report Reply
  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We didn't have an engagement party. I didn't miss it.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Andama08Andama08 member
    First Comment
    edited February 2013
    My fiance and I passed on the engagement party. We've been dating for almost 8 years and our families have been at events together in the past and know each other, the same for our wedding party. We really decided against because most of our wedding party is out of town and it wouldn't have made sense to throw a party the majority of them wouldn't have been able to make it too (more money saved towards the wedded lol wohooo!!!)
    Report Reply
  • JCbride14JCbride14
    First Comment
    In Response to Engagement Party:

    I'm in a similar situation.  I really want an engagement party, but we've been engaged for five months now and neither family has brought up hosting it. I mentioned once to my father that I might like to have one, and still after that, zero.  My family doesn't have a lot of money, but it would be nice for them to actually bring it up and think creatively about how we might have even a simple, low-budget party.  I know it is rude for the couple to host their own engagement party.  But it is rude to sit down with my family and be more clear about what I want?  What if Fi and I kick in some or all of the budget but don't list ourselves as the hosts on the invitations, and let my parents officially host?  Is that weird or dishonest, or just helping out my parents?
    Report Reply
  • Sarahg290Sarahg290 member
    First Comment
    I somewhat disagree with a few posts. I am recently engaged and we both have large families who really havent met at all. We are not relying on a family member or friend to host or going to wait for someone to volunteer. Weddings and ceremonies and processes have changed over the years and are not as traditional as they once were. Were looking to plan with a few family members who are willing to have an 'engagement party' cause that is what we are celebrating and we want our families to meet and mingle. Calling it a get together seems silly because you are celebrating a form of your wedding process. I personally would rather my father and step father or vice versa with random aunts and siblings get aquainted early on, not only to break the ice but begin the process of the two families coming together etc. Bottom line weddings and traditions change and its how you interpret or want to do them. This isnt 100 years ago. My interpretation of an engagement party is how i see it and who cares if it is completely diff from someone elses version/ interpretation. Which is totally FINE! :) Ps. Also if your willing to host a party with free food, etc then all then all the more to you ! Who wouldnt wanna go? Lol.
    Report Reply
  • Sarahg290Sarahg290 member
    First Comment
    Pps. We are also not expecting any gifts etc. We just want everyone to meet. Eat. And have fun!
    Report Reply
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-33?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ac232dc3-7ce6-4b3b-949f-c1f044d19d40Post:a2ffb329-be57-42f1-8e84-a30a11117e0c">Re: Engagement Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Engagement Party : I'm in a similar situation.  I really want an engagement party, but we've been engaged for five months now and neither family has brought up hosting it. I mentioned once to my father that I might like to have one, and still after that, zero.  My family doesn't have a lot of money, but it would be nice for them to actually bring it up and think creatively about how we might have even a simple, low-budget party.  I know it is rude for the couple to host their own engagement party.  But it is rude to sit down with my family and be more clear about what I want?  What if Fi and I kick in some or all of the budget but don't list ourselves as the hosts on the invitations, and let my parents officially host?  Is that weird or dishonest, or just helping out my parents?
    Posted by JCbride14[/QUOTE]

    That is even more rude. You've already told them what you want, and they aren't interested. You can't force someone to throw you a party. If you want one so badly, throw one, but it's a bit tacky to throw one in your own honor.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards