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Issues with bridal shower

tinap13tinap13
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Im really frustrated with the bride to be. I am moh and she wanted a bridal shower which I'm ok with throwing for her, but I can not pay for her all of her guests. I told her she was covered, but she does not want to make anyone pay. And she insists that I have to foot the bill and that I'm suppose to host it. I'm a sahm mom of two kids and I can't ask my husband to foot this bill and then still have to pay everything that comes with the moh title and on top of that all of us are in the wedding. Plus there's still the bacherlotte/bachelor party. Everything I offer or suggests is a "no". And no one has a house to offer. So she called the bridal shower off. What can I do? The other bm can't help either because there her nieces :/
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Re: Issues with bridal shower

  • pkontkpkontk member
    500 Comments
    The bride should not demand anything for her shower - you graciously offered to host, and she gave you a list tha was over your means, or so it sounds. 

    Guests at a shower should not be expected to pay, so if you cannot host this alone then the bride will not get a shower, unless her mother or FMIL offer to help (but you should not expect this help).
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2012
    The host of the shower gets to determine the budget and number of guests, not the bride. It is not the M'sOH duty to host the shower. Anyone, except the bride or groom, may host it. The bride is wrong to be pressuring you into throwing a party for her. But she is right about one thing, the guests should not be expected to pay.

    If you still want to throw a shower, try to recruit a few co-hosts, either bridesmaids or other close friends of the bride. Find out what each co-host is willing to contribute and keep within that budget. A simple cake and punch shower should be manageable.

                       
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  • twotimemobtwotimemob member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I agree with Ms. Poppy - Can you manage just a cake-and-punch shower?  If the bride is not agreeable to that idea, then I guess you're off the hook.
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  • carrollicarrolli member
    First Comment
    I agree with the other ladies.  A shower is something done out of the generosity of your heart, not something expected or demanded.  If she can't handle what you are able to provide, she should find someone else to host her shower.


    This is one part of the wedding process I am glad that is over.
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  • tinap13tinap13
    First Comment
    She says its ok to host it at her house, but isnt that tacky on my part? A bridal shower for her at her house. I dont have the means to pay person, so I have been offering other ideas and everything she turns down. And I have one friend who is helping, but I am not sure about the rest.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There is nothing wrong with having the shower at the bride's house, as long as it is clear that she is not hosting it.
                       
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  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    If she already "called it off" I would just roll with that.  She sounds like a brat if she's turning down your suggestions left and right, especially since she knows you're on a budget.  

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  • MrsKathyCMrsKathyC
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_issues-with-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4f73457b-461c-44f3-a946-5f6622af21d3Post:090f320a-0f6b-48df-b020-6d3c89e2b189">Issues with bridal shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im really frustrated with the bride to be. I am moh and she wanted a bridal shower which I'm ok with throwing for her,<strong> but I can not pay for her all of her guests. I told her she was covered, but she does not want to make anyone pay</strong>. And she insists that I have to foot the bill and that I'm suppose to host it. I'm a sahm mom of two kids and I can't ask my husband to foot this bill and then still have to pay everything that comes with the moh title and on top of that all of us are in the wedding. Plus there's still the bacherlotte/bachelor party. Everything I offer or suggests is a "no". And no one has a house to offer. So she called the bridal shower off. What can I do? The other bm can't help either because there her nieces :/
    Posted by tinap13[/QUOTE]

    I don't really understand this part...  does the bride want the shower at a restaurant? Host a simple cake & punch shower and call it a day. I would definitely NOT get involved in the planning of any bach. party for her.
    Anniversary
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_issues-with-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:4f73457b-461c-44f3-a946-5f6622af21d3Post:090f320a-0f6b-48df-b020-6d3c89e2b189">Issues with bridal shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im really frustrated with the bride to be. I am moh and she wanted a bridal shower which I'm ok with throwing for her, but I can not pay for her all of her guests. I told her she was covered, but she does not want to make anyone pay. And she insists that I have to foot the bill and that I'm suppose to host it. I'm a sahm mom of two kids and I can't ask my husband to foot this bill and then still have to pay everything that comes with the moh title and on top of that all of us are in the wedding. Plus there's still the bacherlotte/bachelor party. Everything I offer or suggests is a "no". And no one has a house to offer. So she called the bridal shower off. What can I do? The other bm can't help either because there her nieces :/
    Posted by tinap13[/QUOTE]

    If this is her attitude...then she is not that wonderful a friend!  What about her folks?  My daughter's MOH lived in a tiny apartment.  I offered my house and helped with the food behind the scenes.  I remember what it is like to be young and broke!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
    Report Reply
  • jnjmommy0609jnjmommy0609 member
    10 Comments
    Bride sounds like an effing brat. The girl needs to learn some manners and how to express generosity. Tell her to go ahead and call it off. Only saves you money. 
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