Lucky Me :)

Re: Lucky Me :)

• trix1223 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_lucky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:d908a526-b9ac-4cde-b0fa-67fcd7d703e4Post:7724016b-10e6-4db5-9172-f38a9856b6e1">Lucky Me :)</a>:
  [QUOTE]I am very lucky. Not only have my two best friends done me the honor of agreeing to stand with me on my wedding, they're totally already tossing around ideas for pre-parties and dresses. One of them is currently in the lead up to her own wedding and have a 2 month old and the other is in her final year of her doctorate program and yet they are still happy to get into excited discussions about my way future wedding. Here's where I need advice... for two years now, I have wanted one thing for my bachelorette party: A girly weekend at my brother's in-law's house. They live on a beautiful horse farm in the foothills of the Appies (they have already enthusiastically said yes). We're going to have a fairly small party with 5 of my closest gfs (including BMs), my brother's wife, her mother and my mother. I would love to also include my FMIL, whom I completely adore. My only drawback is that I am not close to either of my FI's sis-in-laws and don't want to hurt their feelings by inviting FMIL and not them. I wouldn't mind but I have a feeling neither of them would gel especially well with my girlfriends or the outdoorsy style of the party we're planning. What should I do? I definately want my FMIL there and don't know how to handle the rest of the sitch.... Help? (And so sorry for the book! :) )
  Posted by Ally Cat[/QUOTE]
  
  Your wedding is 3 years away.   I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but worrying about a b-party now is, to say the least, premature.  I'd have also recommended that you not choose a WP yet either, but that horse has left the barn.....
  
  Anyway. you don't plan a b-party.  Your attendants do.  And the b-party typically happens no earlier than 4-6 weeks before your wedding.  And for goodness' sake:  ideas change.  Styles change.  Finances change. Friendships change. 
  
  How about a reality check?  If you had planned a party back in August, 2007 for this coming September, would it have looked like it would if you were planning it now?  I'm guessing that things like guest list, location, menu, etc. might be very different in 3 years.
  
  Let this go.  You're spending time trying to plan a simple get together that's not going to happen for 3 years.  That's like trying to push jello up a hill.

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• awick14 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with pp. You need to step back and think about this.
  
   If your wedding isn't until 2013 you shouldn't be planning the stuff that you are thinking about.
  
  My wedding is in 9 months and my MOH hasn't even mentioned the B-party to me and I'm fine with that. I still have a long time to go. The only things that i have planned so far are my venders, as we were very date specific for our wedding.
  
  How will you know that you are even going to be friends with those girls in 3 years. I don't speek to most of the people I hung out with 2 years ago let alone 3.
  
  Good luck with your planning. O and to answer your question. I think that if you are inviting your FMIL, your FSIL will be upset. But it really is up to you. Can you stand 10 christmas/thanksgiving dinners with them not talking to you?
  

  The most beautiful things in the world are not seen nor touched. They are felt with the heart. -- Helen Keller

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• Ally Cat

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Lol. Just realized my year is wrong. Its supposed to be 2011. I'm actually not planning the party, they just wanted a list of people I'd like to invite.
  And when you've been friends through thick and thin with people for over 20 years, I really don't think that there is going to be a change in that friendship so tremendous that I wouldn't want her and my other bf for over 15 years to be the ladies standing with me. I realize that that wasn't in the original post so no hard feelings.
  His guys are his two brothers, my ladies are the two women I have considered sisters for years (as in, I am actually named as the first guardian of my one girlfriend's child before either set of grandparents if anything happens to them).
  
  I would also rather have my FSILs at a bigger bridal shower than make them uncomfortable by making them drive 3 hours to do something they don't enjoy (up at 6 three mornings in a row for trail rides, camping and bbq, then night rides) When I said outdoorsy, I meant it.

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• vickiloew

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I would say you should at least invite them and let them decide if they want to drive the 3 hours for an event that they may or may not enjoy.  They certainly have the right to decline the invitation.  I think it would be in poor taste to invite FI's mother but not his sisters.

  Vicki & Ali - 3/5/11

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