Anomaly - need to vent

ConcreteCowgirl · July 2012

I must be an anomaly. I don't want to spend hours upon hours combing through dress catalogs and shops. I know what I want in a silohette, neckline and length. I'm not that picky about color or embellishment. I have contacted 6 different salons and asked "Do you have a floor length halter top with an A line silouhette in size "X" and price range "X"?". I think that is pretty straightforward. I don't stutter or mumble, nor is my accent all that heavy. You know what I get for response - we'd really like you to make an appointment and come in, please bring pictures of what you want.....or....we have a couple dresses that are that style, but we can make anything in to a halter top......

Ummm.....okay, I get no acknowledgement that I asked a direct question? How am I supposed to have any faith you can help me in person when I ask the SAME question?

In regards to those that do answer my question, you feel the need to tack on the "we can do anything" clause. No. No you can't. I have seen what it looks like when a strapless dress is made in to a halter dress - it pretty much looks like you made a strapless dress in to a halter dress (not what I want or I would have asked for that). Nice try.

Why do I have to be drug through hours in changing rooms? WHY? I'm willing to pay the ridiculous amounts the boutiques sell the dresses for (even though I can order a knock off at a fraction of the price online). Why do they insist on not answering a direct question?

This is just one more reason why I am beginning to think about just running to the courthouse and throwing a keg party in the backyard. I mean c'mon people. You already charge me a 300% mark up because the word wedding is attached to my request. Why can't you just answer a freaking question instead of wasting my time and your time?

Thanks for letting me vent.......

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Listen, picking out a dress doesn't have to be a long, drawn out process. It wasn't for me, but you know what? You still have to go to the salon to try the shiiit on, whether it's for a half an hour or 3 hours.

Also? Those people are just trying to help.

andrea2473 · July 2012

These are salespeople and it's a sales tactic. Frustrating, yes but it will be hard to avoid. Just tell them to only pull dresses that match your criteria and in return you will make an appointment. And for the record, I had a perfect idea of my wedding dress and what I ended up with wasn't close at all. And it didn't take hours. It's great that you know what you want, but trying dresses on is part of the process.

Wiscisbliss · July 2012

I went dress shopping once. We were there for an hour. It wasn't a big deal.

Just go to a store. You have to try it on no matter what it is.

ZombieNates · July 2012

TBH, I knew what I wanted, but it was still better to go in and try it on. Yes, yes, you know what you like and what looks good on you, but a lot of people say that and then completely change their minds. There was a thread on E the other day about what you envisioned your dress to look like and what you actually ended up with. Like AATB said, they're just trying to help (and make sure the customer likes her dress so she doesn't harass them later about exchanging it).

brandichamberlain · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anomaly-need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6dd5c2c4-4d75-4810-8e7d-1b882ce31336Post:770bec0b-1f75-4d57-90b3-6f6ba1db9288">Anomaly - need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I must be an anomaly. I don't want to spend hours upon hours combing through dress catalogs and shops. I know what I want in a silohette, neckline and length. I'm not that picky about color or embellishment. I have contacted 6 different salons and asked "Do you have a floor length halter top with an A line silouhette in size "X" and price range "X"?". I think that is pretty straightforward. I don't stutter or mumble, nor is my accent all that heavy. You know what I get for response - <strong>we'd really like you to make an appointment and come in, please bring pictures of what you want.....or....we have a couple dresses that are that style, but we can make anything in to a halter top......</strong> Ummm.....okay, I get no acknowledgement that I asked a direct question? How am I supposed to have any faith you can help me in person when I ask the SAME question? In regards to those that do answer my question, you feel the need to tack on the "we can do anything" clause. No. No you can't. I have seen what it looks like when a strapless dress is made in to a halter dress - it pretty much looks like you made a strapless dress in to a halter dress (not what I want or I would have asked for that). Nice try. Why do I have to be drug through hours in changing rooms? WHY? I'm willing to pay the ridiculous amounts the boutiques sell the dresses for (even though I can order a knock off at a fraction of the price online). Why do they insist on not answering a direct question? This is just one more reason why I am beginning to think about just running to the courthouse and throwing a keg party in the backyard. I mean c'mon people. You already charge me a 300% mark up because the word wedding is attached to my request. Why can't you just answer a freaking question instead of wasting my time and your time? Thanks for letting me vent.......
Posted by ConcreteCowgirl[/QUOTE]

I think they are just trying to be helpful. A lot of brides go in and try on the dress they're so sure they want and end up disliking it. I ended up with a dress I never thought I would get. It doesn't have to take hours- if you go in and find a dress and try it on, you might be done in ten minutes. I would suggest just making a quick appointment and doing that.

kaos16 · July 2012

I knew exactly what dress I wanted too. . . . . and the one I bought is completely different. It happens. If you want to buy a dress from a bridal boutique, you'll need to go in and try them on.

If you are dead set on what you want, nobody here will change your mind. Why don't you just order it online and call it a day.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I picked out the dress I wanted online, went to the store and tried it on, and bought it. The saleswomen did the same thing, trying to get me to try on this dress or that dress and it was pretty easy to say no. I tried on 5 dresses total just to appease my mother, since she was buying my dress, but ultimately stuck with the one I knew I was going to get.

It doesn't have to be a hassle. Just tell them no. They can't force you to try on a dress or spend hours in the fitting rooms.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anomaly-need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6dd5c2c4-4d75-4810-8e7d-1b882ce31336Post:b180828a-c53a-45dc-a9b4-62cdd764af27">Re: Anomaly - need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I picked out the dress I wanted online, went to the store and tried it on, and bought it. The saleswomen did the same thing, trying to get me to try on this dress or that dress and it was pretty easy to say no. I tried on 5 dresses total just to appease my mother, since she was buying my dress, but ultimately stuck with the one I knew I was going to get.<strong> It doesn't have to be a hassle. Just tell them no. They can't force you to try on a dress or spend hours in the fitting rooms.</strong>
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

So much this.

Keep in mind - the wedding biz encounters every single bride imaginable, from ones who can't make up their minds on anything, to ones that constantly change their tunes, to ones who know exactly what they want. They will work with you if you are clear with them. I knew exactly what kind of dress I wanted - and the only reason I tried on other kinds was because my mom wanted me to. My consultants were all great.

lbarr088 · July 2012

Trying it on is always a good option. Also, I tried on 15 dresses in just under 2 hours. It wont be hours upon hours unless you make it that way. Try and enjoy yourself... yeesh.

Smash Adams · July 2012

I picked out the dress that I wanted online, went in and tried on a version of it. I did try on some others, but compared every one to that one dress. I loved it and ended up buying it.

Just go in and try it on. They're doing their job, and covering their asses because if they didn't do it this way, they'd have to deal with customers who bitched when the dresses came and weren't what they thought they wanted.

kaos16 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anomaly-need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6dd5c2c4-4d75-4810-8e7d-1b882ce31336Post:95ff4222-128a-41ed-9490-67856fe41948">Re: Anomaly - need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anomaly - need to vent : Whoa. I guess this depends on how much you're spending and what their return policy is. If you're getting a dress that costs more than a couple of hundred bucks, I wouldn't just order it online. Wedding dress sizing is really weird. I *thought* I found my dream dress online and had the store order it in for me. So glad I did b/c when I tried it one, it was shittastic. I would have been pissed to be stuck with it.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

Please don't misunderstand. . . . I would never do this, and I don't think it's a wise choice. I'm just saying, if OP is so opposed to going to a store, there are options that do not involve doing so. Perhaps not wise options, but options nonetheless.

LetsHikeToday · July 2012

It's their job. It's the wedding industry. It is what it is.

I went to Alfred Angelo and showed her what I liked. She pulled those dresses and I tried on 2 and picked the second one. It wasn't hard.

kikirst33 · July 2012

Agree with PP... .try on some dresses.

The shillouette I thought I wanted was not what looked good on me. In fact, it looked horrid I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't tried them on. Find a salong that carries a few options for halter dresses, try them on and decide. It's wortha couple hours of your time.

kd.joseph · July 2012

I agree with everyone else, I had a dress in mind found a place that carried it, made an appt to try it on. I still took in a few ideas of other dresses I liked to try on.

I tried on about 6 dresses total. And I ended up buying the original dress I tried on.

Just go in and try some on. And dont go in with an negative attitude, just try to make some fun out of it, take a few friends and have lunch afterwards.

Starmusica · July 2012

concrete- TBH- you are being kind of hard on these shops. 1- they are in the business of sales- it's their job to get you in the store. 2- they know more than you. And they likely know that a lot of times, brides think X dress will look amazing on them but when they try it on, it looks terrible. You are going to have to either risk it and order online or try on a couple dresses. It doesn't have to be a hard process. I went in wanting one dress, tried on four and realized a totally different look worked for me. It wasn't a long process at all.

ConcreteCowgirl · July 2012

Good points from some.

I've already been to three salons and tried on a few dozen dresses. I found two that I was lukewarm on and the rest were a total no go. Broad shoulders + big chest + thick build = very few flattering cuts in my case (I'm just trying to avoid looking like a water heater).

I'm not averse to an appointment, but if you have nothing like what I am looking for - then why would I make an appointment? I'm just trying to not take up their time when they could be making a sale and saving myself a lot of time since all the salons are an hour or more from my house.

Maybe I'm being a little too pragmatic about something that folks are so emotional about?

And believe me ladies - it was nothing but sugar and honey when I was talking to folks. I know better than to behave like I have no indoor manners with people that may someday being doing a service for me. I spend time in a barn, but I wasn't raised there.

My point of the post was to vent my frustration at not getting a question answered.

Smash Adams · July 2012

I hate it when people refer to us in posts as "ladies." It's sort of irrational.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2012

Not gonna lie, you annoy the piss outta me. "Lady."

divinemsbee · July 2012

The only place I went that had several styles of halter dresses that were already halters was David's Bridal. They have at least 3 or 4 that I can think of off the top of my head.

I agree with PP who said that bridal shop employees see brides every day and they just want you to try things on because they've seen so many brides either not be able to make up their mind or box themselves into an idea of a dress that doesn't exist within the parameters they need it in.

For the record, I'm someone who got in no way emotional over her dress and I don't believe in "the one." I believe that there are probably several dresses for most people, and at least one for all that look good enough and fit one's body shape, style, occasion, level of formality, and budget. Those are the things to worry about. I think you're way more rigid in your way of thinking about "the one" dress than any of the "emotional ladies."

Smash Adams · July 2012

So to sum it all up, nope, you're not an anomaly. Sorry bout it.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Who is emotional?

I was nothing but practical about my dress. Get in, buy it, and get it over with. Quick and easy. So, you're not unique in being pragmatic about your dress.

Megbo2012 · July 2012

I thought I knew what I wanted too. I picked probably 15 gowns I liked to try on, and tried on two. The second one was perfect and so I quit while I was ahead. No emotions necessary. I wanted a nice dress, like all brides do, so that's what I got. Not a long arduous painful process at all.

mehgank · July 2012

The ghost in this pic is an anomaly:

You, however, are not an anomaly. You're just someone who wants to order a dress over the phone or online. Not advisable, since you're going to need to get fitted. You just need to understand that if you want a specific dress, then it's in your best interest to actually invest some time in picking one out (be it through magazines, websites, etc) prior to trying it on.

I spent maybe two hours collectively over the course of a month looking for a dress prior to going and trying it on. It was the first one I tried on, however, I tried on two others to appease my mom and sister. Put the first dress back on, got pinned for alterations, and was outta there within the hour.

Long story short: quit yer bitchin'.

Ali092011 · July 2012

I think your expectations are just weird. Even if these salespeople had answered your "direct question," what would have happened next? If I were a salon owner, I would not go ahead and order a dress based on the fact that a customer on the phone said it sounds like something she likes. You would still have to go to the salon, try on the dress, decide if you want it, and place an order. That's simply what has to be done.

If you have a very specific idea of what you want, why don't you find some dresses online that meet your requirements and call various salons to see if they carry that dress? I know on the David's Bridal website, and probably on most other bridal gown websites, you can search by length, neckline, color, etc. Let's say you like the dress SaBelle by Maggie Sottero because it has everything you are looking for in a dress. You call up a salon and ask if they have that dress available to try on. They have no way to not give you a yes or no answer.

If you're going to be really specific and close-minded regarding what you want, you're going to have to put in the work to make sure you get it.

wrigleyville · July 2012

If you don't want responses to a vent, why post it on a forum? That's what a diary is for.

2012FutureMrsB · July 2012

I picked out a few dresses online that I liked, went in and tried on 3. I knew the first one was "it" but made myself try on 2 more just to be sure. My decision was very quick and simple. I went with the first one, then tried on a veil and petticoat. It didn't take too long.

Also, I only brought my mom with me, so there was no drama with others' opinions.

Bierfrau · July 2012

Don't think about bying online...ever! I posted my story on the wrong Board (DIU).What a nightmare I got my self into. Bying a dress is suposed to be the best part of wedding planning. There are things you can change and somthings you can't. It's time to enjoy beeing a Bride.

JennLax · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anomaly-need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6dd5c2c4-4d75-4810-8e7d-1b882ce31336Post:597c62b9-cf07-48bd-9ffd-aa13ab83c7f5">Re: Anomaly - need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I've already been to three salons and tried on a few dozen dresses. I found two that I was lukewarm on and the rest were a total no go. Broad shoulders + big chest + thick build = very few flattering cuts in my case (I'm just trying to avoid looking like a water heater). Posted by ConcreteCowgirl[/QUOTE]

Were all of the ones you tried on a halter top cut? I also have broad shoulders and a big chest and was told that a halter would emphasize my shoulders even more and that I should avoid them. i found capped sleeves far more flattering.

Just a thought that maybe you're not finding the right dress because what you think you want may not flatter your figure? I'd give consultants a chance.. after all, they've probably dressed dozens of brides with your body type and know what will look good.

meggiemo · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anomaly-need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6dd5c2c4-4d75-4810-8e7d-1b882ce31336Post:770bec0b-1f75-4d57-90b3-6f6ba1db9288">Anomaly - need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I must be an anomaly. I don't want to spend hours upon hours combing through dress catalogs and shops. I know what I want in a silohette, neckline and length. I'm not that picky about color or embellishment. I have contacted 6 different salons and asked "Do you have a floor length halter top with an A line silouhette in size "X" and price range "X"?". I think that is pretty straightforward. I don't stutter or mumble, nor is my accent all that heavy. You know what I get for response - we'd really like you to make an appointment and come in, please bring pictures of what you want.....or....we have a couple dresses that are that style, but we can make anything in to a halter top...... Ummm.....okay, I get no acknowledgement that I asked a direct question? How am I supposed to have any faith you can help me in person when I ask the SAME question? In regards to those that do answer my question, you feel the need to tack on the "we can do anything" clause. No. No you can't. I have seen what it looks like when a strapless dress is made in to a halter dress - it pretty much looks like you made a strapless dress in to a halter dress (not what I want or I would have asked for that). Nice try. Why do I have to be drug through hours in changing rooms? WHY? I'm willing to pay the ridiculous amounts the boutiques sell the dresses for (even though I can order a knock off at a fraction of the price online). Why do they insist on not answering a direct question? This is just one more reason why I am beginning to think about just running to the courthouse and throwing a keg party in the backyard. I mean c'mon people. You already charge me a 300% mark up because the word wedding is attached to my request. Why can't you just answer a freaking question instead of wasting my time and your time? Thanks for letting me vent.......
Posted by ConcreteCowgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Funny, I wanted EXACTLY that too (but I specified lace) and was met with the same reaction at all but one salon. Needless to say, that's where I ended up getting my dress from after trying on a bajillion others that did not fit the bill. Google: Maggie Sottero "Karena." It comes in sweetheart and halter and it's absolutely beautiful. Sounds like it might be just what you're looking for as well! Good luck!</div>

MedStudent13 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anomaly-need-to-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6dd5c2c4-4d75-4810-8e7d-1b882ce31336Post:770bec0b-1f75-4d57-90b3-6f6ba1db9288">Anomaly - need to vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I must be an anomaly. I don't want to spend hours upon hours combing through dress catalogs and shops. I know what I want in a silohette, neckline and length. I'm not that picky about color or embellishment. I have contacted 6 different salons and asked "Do you have a floor length halter top with an A line silouhette<strong> <em><font color="#ff0000">in size "X</font></em></strong><em><font color="#ff0000">"</font></em> and price range "X"?". I think that is pretty straightforward. I don't stutter or mumble, nor is my accent all that heavy. You know what I get for response - we'd really like you to make an appointment and come in, please bring pictures of what you want.....or....we have a couple dresses that are that style, but we can make anything in to a halter top...... Ummm.....okay, I get no acknowledgement that I asked a direct question? How am I supposed to have any faith you can help me in person when I ask the SAME question? In regards to those that do answer my question, you feel the need to tack on the "we can do anything" clause. No. No you can't. I have seen what it looks like when a strapless dress is made in to a halter dress - it pretty much looks like you made a strapless dress in to a halter dress (not what I want or I would have asked for that). Nice try. Why do I have to be drug through hours in changing rooms? WHY? I'm willing to pay the ridiculous amounts the boutiques sell the dresses for (even though I can order a knock off at a fraction of the price online). Why do they insist on not answering a direct question? This is just one more reason why I am beginning to think about just running to the courthouse and throwing a keg party in the backyard. I mean c'mon people. You already charge me a 300% mark up because the word wedding is attached to my request. Why can't you just answer a freaking question instead of wasting my time and your time? Thanks for letting me vent.......
Posted by ConcreteCowgirl[/QUOTE]

They probably want you to make an appointment because that little slip usually indicates that you may not know much about wedding dresses. Most stores only carry one size of each dress and you have to order the correct one in your size. I don't think they're trying to belittle you or anything, they probably honestly want to see you look your best on your wedding day and like some of the other girls have said, sometimes what you think may look best actually doesn't. Most of the wedding dress vendors out there are not crooks and don't want to to waste all of your money on something you don't want to (ok, I'll admit there are some out there but most are good people). My own dress consultant actually found me a beautiful dress that was below my budget and willingly admitted that it looked better on me than a more expensive dress

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