Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
New Discussion

Who selects the reading?

Mark&StephMark&Steph
10 Comments
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
FI asked one of his close friends to be a reader in our ceremony. He and I have been looking around at various poems, prose, etc. for something for her to read, and have tentatively narrowed it down to one or two favorites. Yesterday, she contacted him with a poem that she thought would be good for the reading. I looked it up online, and it's okay, but it's not really "us" and I like both of our choices far better.

Am I out of line for telling our reader what to read (provided that FI is on the same page)? It's nice that she offered to select a reading, but now I'm not sure if she'll be offended if I nix her idea for something else. (Also, the readings that FI and I have are not religious or controversial; I would never expect someone to read something that they fundamentally disagree with.)

Can I tell her "no" on her suggestion, or does she get more input since she will be doing the actual reading?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Who selects the reading?

  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    You can tell her no.  The bride and groom pick the readings, not the reader, though, as you said, a reader would be within their rights to ask not to read anything religious or contraversial.  I'm sure she just meant the poem as a suggestion- just tell her what you said her, that it's pretty but not really you.
    Report Reply
  • Mark&StephMark&Steph
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_who-selects-the-reading?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:e787200a-34e0-46d4-8b78-3f2d3e3b0961Post:7db0d136-b15d-40e0-8098-35cc4ca1c086">Re: Who selects the reading?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can tell her no.  The bride and groom pick the readings, not the reader, though, as you said, a reader would be within their rights to ask not to read anything religious or contraversial.  I'm sure she just meant the poem as a suggestion- just tell her what you said her, that it's pretty but not really you.
    Posted by calliopeia2013[/QUOTE] Whew. Thank you! I'll word it tactfully (email) but I'm glad to know I'm within my limits to request something else.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • naomikbnaomikb member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    You definitely get to decide what she reads.  She also has the right to decline what you pick and ask you to find someone else if she's uncomfortable. 

    Just graciously thank her for looking into it for you but that you and your FI have already picked something that is near and dear to you.
    Report Reply
  • KindachewyKindachewy
    100 Comments
    I thnk letting her choose between the 2 you both like, still gives her an opinion :)
    ** I don't believe that old cliche that good things come to those who wait. I think good things come to those who want something so bad they can't sit still **
    Report Reply
  • cwill6212cwill6212 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    You can decline her suggestion. It's your wedding so you and FI have the final say about the readings, music, etc.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards