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My Boss

SunriseAmberSunriseAmber member
500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
in Plus-Sized
My boss was just talking to one of my coworkers. I didn't even hear what they were saying but I think it was something along the lines of my coworker eatting chocolate or something. I smiled because they both started laughing and my boss looks at me and says "Why are you laughing for? When's the last time YOU'VE seen a size 6?? Don't be a smart ass". I was in shock and replied "Umm, i didnt even say anything". Lame i know but I was in such shock. He is a big guy too and he said it in front of a bunch of people.

I feel so bad about myself now. I've been going to the gym and eatting healthier. I've even lost some weight and then he says that to me?  I feel like the effort is for nothing. I feel ashamed about myself. I have a big business trip coming up for work and I don't even want to go now.

I haven't felt this crappy about myself in a long time.
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Re: My Boss

  • Sarah0335Sarah0335 member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    That was extremely worng what he said to you.  I am so sorry that happened.

    I am sure you look great and I know it is really hard, but I would really try to blow it off.  Your efforts are definitely not for nothing either.  I have been working on healthy eating and going to the gym too.  I know how hard it can be, but I focus on that I am doing this for a healthier me.

    Some people are just cruel.  I am so sorry this happened.  *Hugs*
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  • SunriseAmberSunriseAmber member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
    Thank you for your kind words and support! You did make me feel a bit better.
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  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Your boss is an absolute ass. I might've asked him when was the last time he'd seen a size 32" pant was. But I'm mean like that.

    Don't get discouraged, it will pay off.

    Sorry, I just keep thinking "jackass." And your co-worker needs to stop it too.
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  • EBONYROBERTEBONYROBERT member
    100 Comments
    your boss is a D**k... i agree with divinemsbee "Don't get discouraged, it will pay off."
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  • cinderellasjccinderellasjc member
    100 Comments

    wow..... talk about ignorance. 
    Your efforts are not for nothing.  You are working on being healthier and should be proud.  I know its hard to shrug it off, but at the end of the day.... you go home to your FI and continue to better yourself..... and he remains a jackass!!

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  • mancila60mancila60
    1000 Comments
    That is completely rude. Somehow I feel like he might have been joking but I don't know your boss and no matter what it was wrong to say and completely mean.

    I agree with the other ladies. Don't worry about him just keep working to make yourself healthy. Do what makes you feel better. Plus size women are gorgeous and I hate that others don't see it that way.
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  • SunriseAmberSunriseAmber member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
    Thank you lovlies!
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  • entropicbeautyentropicbeauty member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would be BEYOND pissed if someone said that to me. It is mean and hurtful!

    I can't help but wonder if it also would count as harrassment? Technically he made your work environment uncomfortable. It might be worth pursuing it if you think he might continue to make inappropriate comments in the future.
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  • BubbsNBubbsBubbsNBubbs member
    100 Comments
    AMEN! And I do believe that would fall under harassment as the comments were unwelcome, rude and made you feel uncomfortable.  Not to mention if your co-workers around you heard it and took offense.  I know I would.

    I don't know how far you want to take this in the workplace...but I would def at least let him know what he said was not ok and if it happens again, I would be going to ER. He is in a position of power and if others see him talk to you like that...they may think it's ok.
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  • LuckyGirl1713LuckyGirl1713
    1000 Comments
    If you have a human resources department I would definitely make a formal complaint.  I dont know if your work at a large office or a small office but I would make sure this does not go unnoticed.  People in the workplace have to hav ea genuine respect for each other and this guy is a complete and utter jackass who needs to be put in his place.  He needs to learn some respect and how to treat people properly especially his employees. 

    And don't worry about what he thinks, the opinion of a small minded simple simple man should mean nothing to you.  Keep doing what you are doing to make yourself a healthy and happy person.
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  • bruna29bruna29 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_my-boss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4ca05c60-1954-4174-9686-6e9cda7498c9Post:359d49f4-4738-486d-aa33-b1142c60dedb">Re: My Boss</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you have a human resources department I would definitely make a formal complaint.  I dont know if your work at a large office or a small office but I would make sure this does not go unnoticed.  People in the workplace have to hav ea genuine respect for each other and this guy is a complete and utter jackass who needs to be put in his place.  He needs to learn some respect and how to treat people properly especially his employees.  And don't worry about what he thinks, the opinion of a small minded simple simple man should mean nothing to you.  Keep doing what you are doing to make yourself a healthy and happy person.
    Posted by LuckyGirl1713[/QUOTE]
    I was actually going to post this exact thing. If my boss said something like this to me, I would definitely file a complaint with HR (or a different supervisor if you don't have an HR department).<div>
    </div><div>However, don't let him discourage you. It's not worth your time or energy to worry about what he thinks. He sounds like an ass. Keep working hard for YOU, not for anyone else. You have a loving and supportive FI, and I'm sure he thinks you're beautiful just the way you are. :)</div>
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  • chickenbut143chickenbut143 member
    500 Comments
    I agree with the PP who mentioned going to HR.  This is wrong on so many levels.  Just know how fantastic you're doing and how proud of you we are!  HUGS!!
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    I'd definitely file an HR complaint. That's just not okay.

    But I definitely echo the others that said to not let his comments bother you, he clearly fails.
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  • Megbo2012Megbo2012
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    What an ass.  I would use this as motivation in the gym.  When you are running on the treadmill/biking imagine that you are kicking his butt.  It will give you so much satisifaction once the process is done.  You won't even have to say, "remember that time you...." just smile and remember it yourself, and how much you've changed. Keep it up :)
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  • SaraB102SaraB102
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_my-boss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4ca05c60-1954-4174-9686-6e9cda7498c9Post:19b20a0d-6d71-4494-9e1e-00c61cb3af51">Re: My Boss</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be BEYOND pissed if someone said that to me. It is mean and hurtful! I can't help but wonder if it also would count as harrassment? Technically he made your work environment uncomfortable. It might be worth pursuing it if you think he might continue to make inappropriate comments in the future.
    Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]

    What a prick.

    It's harassment plain and simple.  He created a hostile working environment.  In order for you to CYA and have a case if it continues, document the conversation (or interaction) and ask him to please stop with the comments.  You'll also want to tell him that his comments created a hostile working environment.  If you're comfortable talking to HR about it, ask that they provide you with a copy of the company's anti-harassment policy.

    I'm so sorry this happened.
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  • renjon7798renjon7798 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    My boss said almost the same thing to me.  He said I need to start working out and that he's noticed I've "eaten a lot more" since I've started workng there.  I don't have an HR department.  He's it.  (I work in a small independant jewelry store and he's the owner).  I went home crying and now refuse to take lunch when he's there.  If I do eat anything, it's fat free yogurt and I stretch it out over the whole day.  I should mention that I am 5'3" and weigh 165 pounds.  Yes I am overweight but do you need to rub it in?

    Hugs to you to OP!  I know you a beautiful and amazing woman and don't let that PR*CK get you down!
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  • NindakayNindakay
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_my-boss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4ca05c60-1954-4174-9686-6e9cda7498c9Post:dfc74593-9fa0-4db5-abf8-deaf1ea7b873">Re: My Boss</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Boss : I<strong> was actually going to post this exact thing.</strong> If my boss said something like this to me, I<strong> would definitely file a complaint with HR (or a different supervisor if you don't have an HR department).</strong> However, don't let him discourage you. It's not worth your time or energy to worry about what he thinks. He sounds like an ass. Keep working hard for YOU, not for anyone else. You have a loving and supportive FI, and I'm sure he thinks you're beautiful just the way you are. :)
    Posted by justdance93[/QUOTE]

    Agree!!  Those were my sentiments exactly!!  And I know where you are coming from - I had a boss who told me once (it was a small CPA firm) that I was too fat to wear pants to work - I could only wear skirts.  Some people!!  Sheesh!!

    But keep up the good work, and remember that your FI loves you not matter what.  Just the way you are!!  Don't stress yourself out about it before the wedding!!  There is enough stress going on as it is!!!

    ((HUGS!!!))
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