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kids at weddings

IdoIdo2014IdoIdo2014
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in Plus-Sized
My FI was reading my July issue of Brides and saw an article about kids at weddings. They made suggestion of setting up a "vip kids area" for the kiddos to play and not interrput the ceremony etc...we got to thinking about this. I don't want to sound mean, but sometimes when kids start misbehaving or babies start crying, the parents don't get up and remove their child from the ceremony. I am a mom, so I understand babies cry, its their only form of communication, but some parents just sit there instead of politely getting up. There just isnt a nice way to put this topic without sounding rude. Has anyone been to a wedding that had a kids section? Is this something you may be considering? Our wedding is outdoors so there is no crying room.
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Re: kids at weddings

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    At my aunt's wedding it was outside in the mountains. There were about 5 or 6 children in attendance. They sat with their parents for the ceremony and had their own table to sit at for the reception. My aunt hired a few sitters to sit with them at the table to make sure they ate and had coloring books, puzzles, etc. to keep them content. The parents liked it because while they got to enjoy their adult time they also could see their child and make sure they were okay.

    For the ceremony, it's just not worth stressing over. Kids are going to be kids and sometimes parents drop the ball, but I assure you that once you're up there looking into your groom's eyes, you won't hear a thing.
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    smartn2sexy08smartn2sexy08
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    My FI and I are making a no kids policy with the exception of the the three that are in the ceremony. But those three all are well behaved and their parents are on top of everything. I figure if anyone that doesn't like that their little ones aren't invited don't have to come.
    ?We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.? ~ Buddha
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    IdoIdo2014IdoIdo2014
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    Well being that we are parents and over half our friends are parents we know a no kids policy wouldn't work for us. We were considering the kids table with kid friendly activities to keep them occupied so theyll be happy and mom and dad can relax a little.
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    cinderellasjccinderellasjc member
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    edited July 2012
    We are only inviting immediate family children, all of which are above 13, so we won't have this problem.  We didn't want to pay $50+ for a child to eat either....
    But I love the idea! I think it will make for a better experience for the children.
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    ShifsgirlShifsgirl
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    We are also having a "no children that are not in the wp" policy as well! The children that will be in attendance will have their own kiddie vip table and area that they can have fun and enjoy! I just feel that it is not fair to the people that have planned for years and the amount of money that they are spending on their day has to be background to screaming and running around children. I've seen wayyyyyyyyyyyy too many weddings like thatand the fact that the parents (some) just continued to sit there is like ummmmmmmm ok???

    Do what is best for you and your groom on that day :-)
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    randyjomacrandyjomac
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    Hey ladies!!! Question, were also doing the "no kid thing" with the exception of our siblings kids. There was no way around that. However, which is the besy way to let the guests know that there is a no kid policy. On the invitation?? If so, which is the proper etiquette? Thanks a bunch!

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    tiffielynn91tiffielynn91 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I was told if you invite one child you cannot exclude. however in the invitations you are very specific on who you address it to. for example

    Mr.&Mrs John Smith
    will usually indicate that only the adults are invited however if you put
    Mr. John Smith and family
    it indicates that John his wife and any or all children are invited on your response cards you can put at the bottom (adult only) however this may exclude some people from coming. but i would go by the rule if you are inviting one child you should invite them all or be prepared for parents to bring them. even the children who are not well behaved.
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    ShifsgirlShifsgirl
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    You can do by word of mouth before you even send out any invites, just so that people will start to know what to expect. Once you send out the formal invites, you may put on the bottom of the rsvp's that this is an all adult or exclusively adult ceremony and or reception. However you feel comfortable with doing it! 
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    Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    do NOT put "adult only" anywhere on your invitations or RSVPs - it's beyond rude. 

    You let people know who's invited by listing those invited on the invitation.  "Mr and Mrs Smith" vs "Mr and Mrs Smith, Billy and Suzie".  You can also put ____ of _2_ attending; and hand write in how many people are invited on each RSVP, but this opens you up to people saying "well my husband can't come, so I'm bringing little Billy".  Better to just leave it and address anyone who RSVPs with their kids individually, IMO.

    I think the kids section is fine for the reception, but don't expect all your guests to utilize it.  It always kind of amazes me that people are all "people don't watch their kids!"  and then want them to leave their kids alone in another area, but I think having coloring books and such is a nice gesture to keep them occupied.  As for the ceremony - I can't picture how that would work.  Are you going to have a babysitter in the kids area? I can't imagine anyone leaving their kid in a play area alone while they're paying attention to the ceremony.  But above all else, the kids who are young enough to cry through the ceremony probably aren't old enough to be interested in or left alone in a kids section, so I just don't really see what you'd be gaining. 

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    anglynanglyn
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited July 2012
    We had a no kids wedding. Our wedding was outdoors and the venue was not very kid friendly. I don't regret it at all. 

    We didn't put adults only or anything on the invites. We put the invited people on the invites. Then if people added more people to the invite, I called them and gently let them know that little Johnny was not invited. No one except for one person said that they would not come if their child wasn't invited. That person also had invited two of her friends that I didn't know and one of their friend's kids too (to keep her children company). So I wasn't too upset by her change of mind. One person did show up with their child after I had told them not to which really irked me since some of my friends did ask me later why Jane got to bring her child when they couldn't. I just flat out told them that I did not invite Johnny but she brought him anyways.

    You can set things up for children, but you can't really expect that everyone will utilize it. Everyone has a different approach to parenting. So if you would like parents that bring children to take their kids outside if they start to fuss. The really only surefire way to get that to happen is to ask them nicely and have them seated in a section where they can make a quick exit if need be. 
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    ShifsgirlShifsgirl
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    Be careful, some people feel as though children are just automatically included (even when you specify numbers on rsvp's). What's right for some,  won't be right for all! Do what is best for you to get the word out! 


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    IdoIdo2014IdoIdo2014
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    We have hired a sitter for the children's area. We are making it to where the parent has to "sign" their child in/out at the area when they drop off and pick up. Sort of like daycare. That way there is no confusion. I know our sitter is a great woman and is awesome with kids, but I think it's more for my own personal piece of mind.


    As for where to put the "No Kids" at to notify your guests...I've seen some who put it on their STD's or Invites and put "Please make arrangements for your children" on them.
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