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Military Brides

For Brides Who Are Planning/Planned During Deployment

Hi all!  My fiance and I are getting married in April 2012, yet he deploys in June 2011 and I would like to have as much as possible planned while he is here.  I was wondering if you brides who planned while the fiance was deployed (or are planning while he is gone) could tell me what parts of the planning process to definitely get done before he leaves, and what you suggest to be put off for when he's gone.  Thanks!!

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Re: For Brides Who Are Planning/Planned During Deployment

  • edited December 2011
    We made sure to get the vendor, officiant, and wedding rings taken care of before he left for deployment. We also decided who was in the wedding party before he left. Other than that, I'm taking care of things, and getting his input if I really need it. My fiance doesn't really care too much though, and I think it's similar for most guys. Planning while he's been gone has honestly not been bad at all. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends if you need it. Congratulations and good luck!
  • MrsWilson0611MrsWilson0611 member
    edited December 2011
    I agree that you should choose the venue, officiant and rings together.  If there are any vendors that your FI is particularly excited about (for mine it was the DJ and cake baker) then you could book them together before he leaves.  Make sure that a military clause is added to each contract before you sign it.  Ask vendors if they offer a military discount, we received one from our venue, officiant, rental company, photographer and limo company.  Congratulations and good luck!  Planning was a great way for me to stay busy and focus on something positive during a deployment.
  • blynnsblynns member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance just returned form his deployment. We had to postpone our original wedding date due to short (3 week) notice. Before he left, we made sure to reserve our venue, since our reception will be on base and he needed to sign the rental agreement paperwork for it. We also managed to at least check out some photographers, florists and bakeries before he left, we made notes & got brochures etc. Once he deployed we were able to discuss the vendors we had met with and then make our final decision. he also suprised me by taking me to a huge bridal expo just before he left (which allowed us to see several vendors at once)!
  • edited December 2011
    We planned the venue, date, officiant, bridal party, and wedding colors while he was home.  For the big details I've been able to email him for his opinion, but the little details I've just gotten opinions from my mom and BMs.  Definitely add a military clause.  Our date almost had to be changed and without a military clause I would have been freaking out.  Make sure every vendor you hire understands that the date is subject to a change depending on his schedule.  We still have a few months before the wedding when he gets back so he is picking out the tuxes and we are doing the vows, rings, etc after he gets home.  Best of luck!
  • edited December 2011
    My FI and I sat down and figured out what things he wanted say in and we took care of those things together.  We picked out the WP, reception venue, and ceremony site together.  He also cared about the photographer, but we didn't have enough time to take care of that before he deployed.  He really liked this one photographers work when he saw it as we were checking out venues, so I tracked down the photographer and met with him.  He turned out to be perfect for us and so I booked him.  The only other things that my FI cares about are the tuxes, since he'll be wearing one, and the cake.  He is deployed  for 2 months at a time, so we are doing that when he is back home next, but everything else I have planned while he was gone.  It's a lot easier to go at your own pace, plus when he is home you can enjoy spending time together and not worry about wedding details.  Good luck with you planning!
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  • katiew22688katiew22688 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't say my FI is deployed, just stationed on the complete opposite side of the US from me, but while he was home on Christmas leave, we knocked out the venue for the ceremony/rececption, the photographer, and the rings. We had already discussed who our officiant would be (and had confirmed it with him) and who was in our WP. Our date had changed a few weeks before his leave, so we had already picked out colors and knew to make sure to include a military clause in all our contracts. The only thing my FI regrets is that he didn't get a say in our cakes. If you have the time to look into caterers/bakers together, I'd say go for it. But seriously, focus on your officiant (and any ceremony traditions you both want included), venue(s), and rings. And if there is anything else he would like a say in, definitely try to do those too. The little details you can take care of. It's not as hard as it sounds. Best of luck!
  • kimberlykdkimberlykd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My finance is deployed overseas until January 2012, and we are planning on getting married in the summer after he returns.  Thank God for Skype!  I try to keep him in the loop with everything I'm looking at - venue websites, colors, flowers, etc., just like I would if he was here with me.  I email things to him, and everything else I try to "show" on the webcam.  When I talk to vendors, I explain the situation to them, and they are usually willing to email me the info and/or let me take pictures so that I can send them onto him.  I get his input on EVERY decision.  It's nice because it keeps me busy while he is away and gives us plenty to talk about whenever we chat.  We will have about 4 months after he returns to the U.S. to plan, so everything that he has to be a part of can wait until then.  It is difficult but not impossible!!! 
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