Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Traditional wording on invitations... won't work in my situation.

My mother is deceased, my father is alive but I am not too sure he will even show up to the wedding. My fiances parents (grooms) are still married and a big part of our lives. I live with my aunt and uncle and my other aunts and uncles are a part of my life as well. How do we word our wedding invitations? I am sure the grooms parents will want to be included on it.

Re: Traditional wording on invitations... won't work in my situation.

  • I'm in a similar boat.. His mother is in the picture (but in a serious relationship with a man thats only been around a couple of years), his father is out of the picture. My dad is remarried, and my mom is not. Mine just reads "Together with our families, we request your presence at the..."
  • Just eliminate the hosts:

    The pleasure of your company is
    requested at the wedding of

    Bride Middle Last
    to
    Groom Middle Last

    etc.
  • Who is hosting/paying for the wedding? That's who's name is on the top.

    You can do together with their families if you have several people hosting.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_traditional-wording-invitations-wont-work-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d76c0bad-37ac-483b-a886-d452f04a0b44Post:b1ce6147-42c5-4e3f-b4e2-70130070b0b6">Re: Traditional wording on invitations... won't work in my situation.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is hosting/paying for the wedding? That's who's name is on the top. <strong>You can do together with their families if you have several people hosting.</strong>
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]
    I like this idea.  Or just put that the two of you request their presence on the day of your wedding.  
  • SCogs18SCogs18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited January 2012
    It really depends on who is hosting the event.  If your aunt and uncle are paying, use there names.  If it is a group effort, use "together with their famililes," if you and your FI are hosting eliminate the hosts names all together.   A friend of mine and her husband were recently married and they paid for the whole event themselves.  They put "Joseph and Rachel invite you to celebrate the first day of the rest of their lives on..."
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    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
  • The older etiquette books would probably let your aunt and uncle (that you live with) replace your parents. So look again at all the "traditional wording" options and replace "daughter" with "niece." It might cause some confusion because people might think your father is also deceased and/or that your aunt and uncle have formally adopted you. I feel it's still worth considering.

    Escaping the old form books, I'm fine with putting both aunt and uncle pairs on there:
    Aunt and Uncle
    and
    Aunt and Uncle
    request...
    at the marriage of...
    their neice
    you
    to
    groom
    son of
    fmil and ffil

    What's the last name situation? Could you do:
    Aunt and Uncle
    Aunt and Uncle
    FMIL and FFIL
    request...
    at the marriage of their loved ones
    you
    and
    groom

    Basically, more or less the old forms, but replace "daughter" or "children" with "loved one." Or leave out "their loved ones" and just put the names.
  • I wondered that too... my parents are divorced and hate each other (but have both agreed to play nice at the wedding) so I wasn't sure. I like the "Both our families reqeuest your presence" one because my honeys family is hosting the reception at their house. Thanks!
  • I think "together with their families" is appropriate and doesn't leave anyone out.  And I think when their's too many names, it becomes overwhelming on the invitiation.  Just my opinion.  (FYI, I did together with their familes for mine)

  • "The T family and B family wish to invite you to the joining of their families with the wedding of Bride & Groom...."

    Off the top of my head at 1am, so I'm sorry if it sounds weird.
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  • Ok I have a dilemma....if you guys can give me some advice as how to word my invitations. This is my second marriage, my Fiances first. I didnt go back to my maiden name when i got divorced because of my minor child just seemed easier to keep the same last name. Now when I go to do my invitations...it seems silly however lol his mom has remarried so her name doesnt match his last name soo what does it matter right?
    I like the phrase "Together with our families, we request your presence at the wedding of Leslie and Jeffery" blah blah...however, I would really love to put their names on the invitations, whether or not they contribute, we both want to do this the right way and she deserves the honor just as much as he does, at least we feel that way.
    My mother is in heaven now, and his mother has become important to me, and in a way, its my way of honoring her and my mother at the same time...if that makes sense, besides I think my mom would smack me in the back of the head if I didnt do it proper lol. So my question is.....
    Do I put my full proper name....
    Leslie Ann MAIDEN MARRIED name? or just Leslie Ann MARRIED name?
    on the invitation? NOW I wished I had gone back to my maiden name lol please help, I didnt even think of how to word the invitations until i found this thread...

    Leslie
  • I agree with Peavy.

    We did:

    You're invited to the wedding of
    Bride and Groom's first names

    Then again, we're paying for it and we're mid-thirties, so that stuff doesn't matter to us as much
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  • In your situation I would think "together with our families" works best. My parents are "kind of" in the picture, but mom won't be attending and my Dad I just found out will actually be there (5 months to go, I bought my invites two months ago). On ours, I put something along the lines of:

    You are invited to celebrate the beginning
    of our new life together
    as we
    Bride Middle Last
    and
    Groom Middle Last
    are united as husband and wife.
    (ceremony/reception details)

    We are paying and hosting everything ourselves, already live together etc, so it felt appropriate for us. If you feel that excludes your families too much, I would definitely go with something as suggested before. Too many names may end up excluding someone else without intending to, and then you have offended people that shouldn't be...
    image
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