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Dear Abby today:

tldhtldh member
2500 Comments
in Moms and Maids
WIth all the recent posts about difficult FMILs, I thought some brides might like Dear Abby's take on the situation:

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law, "Bernice," hasn't spoken to me since her son and I were married four years ago. We got along well prior to the wedding, but because I didn't let her make major decisions in the wedding she stopped speaking to me. I have done everything I can to mend our relationship -- sent her letters of apology, birthday gifts, etc. -- still no response.

My husband is in the middle. I have really had it with Bernice and don't want to try to mend fence s with her any longer, but my husband is very close to his mom and wants me to keep trying. What can I do? Please help. -- DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DILEMMA

DEAR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW: Your husband isn't in the middle. His mother has been trying to push you out in left field for four years, and he is unwilling to put his foot down and stop her.

If you're smart, you will take the high road and continue with the gifts on special occasions. With luck, she'll continue to ignore them and you won't have to tolerate her. A mother-in-law who carries a grudge and thinks her "suggestions" are ironclad is a bona fide burden. Be glad you don't have to suffer her presence, and keep your fingers crossed.

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AKA GoodLuckBear14
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Re: Dear Abby today:

  • BinxRoseBinxRose member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so glad I have a good FMIL! Sure, there have been disagreements, but nothing we couldn't work out in a civil manner and manage to still get along!
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  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I like my ILs when I first met them and couldn't understand why my FI, their son, did not. Over time I came to understand it and dislike them also. Suddenly though he started saying - we should go see my folks and I'd argue against it.  I don't know this but suspect he was telling his family then that we weren't  coming because I didn't want to - I don't know that but suspect it.

    One day I decided I should stop being so immature, I could put up with these PITAs for a few hours, a day, even a weekend. They were his parents, afterall. So I started saying - ok, when do you want to go whenever he'd bring it up.   He wouldn't answer me and I wouldn't hear about if for another couple of months.. Eventually he stopped all together, we would go years without seeing them or even hearing from them, unless they wanted something from us.  It was fabulous. And no they no longer exist and I never have to deal with them again.  And their own children (all of them) are just as happy.
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Overall FMIL and FFIL are alright, especially compared to some horror stories I have read, but they have their moments where I thank my lucky stars I don't have to see them everyday :)
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