Community› Wedding Month Club Boards› May 2012 Weddings
May 2012 Weddings
New Discussion
Options

how rude!

ACKHillaryPACKHillaryP member
First Comment
in May 2012 Weddings
So, on our RSVP cards...I wrote down the guest name...under that there is:
__ attending
__ unable to attend

If you recieved this, would you think to put a check mark or a number?!

Some people have put a check mark (which is what we meant for it to be) but some people have put a number of people attending. this is okay if we invited 2 and they put a 2.....BUT, today we received an RSVP and we invited a single person and they put a 2 next to attedning!!!! Is this rude or am I over reacting?! I mean truly it isnt THAT big of a deal since a couple people said they couldnt make it, so as of this moment we have room for this added person BUT, I feel like if we invited just you, and no where on the invite did it say "and guest"...why would you write that you are bringing a guest?! do people just assume they get a +1?!

ughhh. I am annoyed....
Report Reply to Post

Re: how rude!

  • Options
    classykat22classykat22
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    Yep...prepare for this to happen more than just this once.  :(  I have people sending theirs back with numbers and checks...and one of the Best Men added 2 guests!!  LOL  For us, additional write in's will not be easy to accommodate so, I am a little concerned that we will have more like that coming but, we will just make it work.  It is absolutely rude for people to expect to bring +1 if that's not how the invitation was addressed.  Unfortunately, people other than yourself, don't see the big picture on how much extra it costs you to add someone...they just think, "great, I will have someone there to spend the time with".  ;(

    ETA:  just received another RSVP today with a +1 for their daughter...FI's friend so now, he gets to make that dreaded call.  :(
    image image Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ACKHillaryPACKHillaryP member
    First Comment
    yikesss..... you are right, the guests probably dont think about the big picture of it all...
    Report Reply
  • Options
    77Angie77Angie
    First Comment
    I was so afraid that was going to happen to us - especially since we are having an adult only reception...so on our rsvp cards we put "we have reserved___ seats in your honor."  That way there is no question as to how many people we have invited from their family...  but I am sure we will have some people trying to add also!  It is really rude!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Cackle6Cackle6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Yeah, this is why I am writing in the guests names, and having them circle their meal preference if they are coming, and circling "decline" if they are not. That way there can be no one added in. Although we did give everyone a plus one, but I have some family members who think it's ok to invite their kid's friend's to everything, so that's why I did it that way.

    If you have the room, and you're ok with them bringing a guest, I might leave it alone, but if you don't have the room, I would just call and say "hey, we're really sorry, but because of the room/budget we only are able to accommodate those we invited, so we unfortunately won't be able to accommodate your guest." Unless they're in a serious relationship that you weren't aware of when you sent out invites, it is rude for them to add on a guest without asking you about it.

    Planning Bio! Updated 05.02.12
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I think you should call them up and ask about the extra person. Maybe they are in a new relationship and assume that their S/O is invited as well...? If this is the case you should extend an invite to their S/O as you shouldn't break up a social unit. But if they are just thinking about bringing a random person then explain that it was just for them.
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    classykat22classykat22
    First Comment
    Unfortunately, our added stress is due to people wanting to bring their kids.  Although it's not a "kid free" wedding, we are only having our immediate family/wedding party including their children.  It's hard to tell someone that we want them to attend, but not bring their entire family...but at the same time, we followed all the etiquette rules when we addressed our invitations so, we will just have to deal with these things as they come up.  I thought about putting on our RSVP's exactly how many seats were being reserved but, decided against it because it seemed like I was telling my guests they couldn't figure it out on their own that they can only invite those included on the invitation!  HAHA  Guess I underestimated our guests just a bit.  
    image image Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pantherRNpantherRN member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_how-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:913386f0-37e4-4be7-a07b-2e9c9ccd7984Post:79869887-f7f5-4308-b860-f2fbf288d3ef">Re: how rude!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should call them up and ask about the extra person. Maybe they are in a new relationship and assume that their S/O is invited as well...? If this is the case you should extend an invite to their S/O as you shouldn't break up a social unit. But if they are just thinking about bringing a random person then explain that it was just for them.
    Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]




    All of this.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    norweigannorweigan member
    First Comment
    if it makes you feel better, a good friend of mine had a couple people invite guests they weren't alloted and DIDNT RSVP those extra people they invited. She said she didn't know what to do since there was no place saved for the,... incredibly rude in my opinion.

    My cousin, who also recently got married, said you should have someone else act as a regulator in these types of situation. She volunteered for me to tell people who bring their kids that they have to find a babysitter :) Maybe you could do that? Then you don't have to be the bad guy, which is tougher when they are your guests.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Options
    susanjd9susanjd9
    First Comment
    that does suck i wouldn't like that either. we are sending out our invites monday and i hope i dont get any annoying RSVP situations. but, i guess they are bound to happen.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DiLynn83DiLynn83 member
    First Comment
    I can kind of see where your guests might interpret your RSVP as one in which they can write in a number.  "2 attending."  It's not how I'd reply, but I get where other people might think that way.  That's part of why we're a.) writing people's names in for them, and b.) worded it "accepts/declines."

    I guess accepts/declines isn't much different from what you did.. but.. yeah.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    dori851dori851 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Yes, I would definitely call & see who this extra person is. If it is their S/O, then you should extend the invite to both of them. It is polite to invite a guest along with their S/O because that makes them a social unit.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    S0095042S0095042 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_how-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:913386f0-37e4-4be7-a07b-2e9c9ccd7984Post:4e6de1e2-02fb-440f-8b3a-88dc632ecb89">Re: how rude!</a>:
    [QUOTE] My cousin, who also recently got married, said you should have someone else act as a regulator in these types of situation. She volunteered for me to tell people who bring their kids that they have to find a babysitter :) Maybe you could do that? Posted by norweigan[/QUOTE]

    this -- my mom is actually collecting and tracking the RSVPs -- so she will be making those calls if need be.
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards