Second Wedding - reception or go away??

Re: Second Wedding - reception or go away??

• geordieboysgirl

  

  February 2010 edited December 2011

  If you think you are going to look back and regret not having the big wedding then save up and have it. If you think you can live without it, skip it.
  
  I am getting married a second time, his first and last, and we decided to do a civil ceremony first with a re-do in October. It's working well for us. My sister is doing a destination wedding in March and basically having a casual party the week after they return. We are both in our 40's so we aren't really concerned about the rules (You can get away with a lot when you are old you know!). Ultimately you two are the only ones you need to please. How about a party at your new house with your family and closest friends? Or if there is a community clubhouse you could do it there.
  
  Congrats and good luck!!

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• handfast4me member

  

  February 2010 edited December 2011

  DH and I went off, just the two of us, to Smather's Beach in Key West for our wedding ceremony.  It was incredibly romantic and intimate, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to do a private ceremony.  We didn't have any reception or anything else.  It was great.  We certainly do NOT, as pp suggested, regret not having a large wedding/reception.  I can just not justify spending thousands and thousands of dollars on that.  I'd rather be spending it going to Italy.  Or on my vacation house on the beach.
  
  However, last year, I hosted an at home reception for my daughter, after she and her fiance ran to the courthouse to get married a couple of months earlier.  I had food and drink for 75 people, and did the whole thing for under 500 (food, decor, favors, etc.).  Just a thought.

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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• right1thistime member

  

  February 2010 edited December 2011

  We saved money for about a year to afford our wedding/ reception with all the fixins' for 65 people.  We would not have considered going into debt to do it, but we were happy to spend the money on the celebration.  I would say our event cost >5<10K, and we went high end on food, open bar, flowers, cake.  We stayed mid range for music, & attire.  That figure includes the rehearsal dinner- and we served lobster (it is coastal RI, and our families are big seafood eaters.) 
  There are tons of ways to have what you want, and make it affordable.  Start by figuring out what your budget can afford, then what the key features of the celebration are for the two of you.  You may discover than a trip away with the parents meets all your wishes, and choose that.  Or you may decide that great food, the family and friends, good music are all that you need, and that the trappings of flowers, or cake or whatever are not needed.  Enjoy the planning, it can be done on a budget!  ~Donna

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  February 2010 edited December 2011

  Ultimately you have to decide what you both want. Discuss it with your fiance. It's ok whatever you decide. Since he's the one that's never been married, does it matter to him to have a ceremony and reception? How do you feel about it?
  
  There are lots of ways to do this on a small scale if finances are an issue (as they are for most of us going through this later in life..... mortgages, kids, etc).
  
  If you want to go away, just the two of you, or take your son, whatever you want to do will work for you.
  
  Everyone on this board is pretty non-judgmental, and we've all had, or will have, different wedding experiences depending on what we've decided works for us. You won't find absolute answers from us, but feel free to use us as a sounding board. In this case, however, it depends on what the two of you want.
  
  Good luck.

  Wedding Website and Bio

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• bailey2429 member

  

  February 2010 edited December 2011

  I am in the same boat as you and what we decided to do is save to have a small wedding and a nice reception. We are not getting married till 2012 just to be able to save enough money to also go on the Honeymoon we want.
  Being my second wedding i just wanted to run off and get married but since it's his first we agreed to have a small wedding so he would get a chance at the experience. So if your man wants to be able to have a wedding the best thing to do is wait and save up for the perfect 2nd wedding. Hope you are pleased with any choice you make!
  
  Good luck and Congrats!

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• Sweetz9422

  

  March 2010 edited December 2011

  I had the same debate for months. Both my fiance and I were married before so I was convinced that going away was our best option - financially and stress-wise. But in the end I decided that it would really bother me to have no one there to witness our wedding (parents couldn't go) when everyone saw us at our first weddings. And it bothered me that we wouldn't have pictures and memories to share with our future children. We just bought a house too, and while it wont be easy, we are planning a small reception with about 50-60 of our family and closest friends.

  Wish u the best of luck with whatever you decide.  

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