Do I need to allow a +1 for my single guests (that dont have significant others)

jessicamutchler31 · April 2010

My fiance and I are getting married this summer and due to budget constraints are keeping our numbers to 120 guests (give or take a few). We both have fairly large extended families but still want to include our good friends. The problem I am facing is that we have a bunch of single friends and not enough room to accomodate dates for each one. We plan on inviting all of our friends significant others/husbands and or wives, but are we required to invite a guest for each single friend too? I feel bad saying this but if we allow all singles to bring guests, we will have a bunch of random people we dont know at our wedding. For instance, one of my fiance's groomsman already asked us if he can bring a date. (invitations havent gone out yet as our wedding is in Sept) I feel like he will just ask anyone so that he has someone with him at the wedding. Am I being unreasonable? Let me also add that all of our single friends are friends with each other so it's not like there will be anyone who is alone, not knowing anyone there.

Thanks!

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

You absolutely do not need to give a plus one to every one. However, there are general guidelines you need to follow:

1) Any one married, engaged or living together needs to have a plus one.
2) You cna not give one or two people plus ones just because you are closer to them, or you like their current flavor of the month. You have to be fair across the board.
3) Yes, some people are going to be annoying and ask you if they can bring some one. You are well within good etiquette to explain to them you wish you could have everyone, but budget and space in the venue make this tough. If they pressure you rest assured, they are the ones who are acting like an ass, not you.

jessicamutchler31 · April 2010

Thanks for the advice! I completely agree with what you said. I just needed to hear it from someone else.

lewisc2002 · April 2010

what about people in the wedding party, though - aren't they entitled to bring a guest even if they're single?

ARez726 · April 2010

For our wedding, anyone single, without a significant other, does not get a +1. Like PP said, anyone married, in a relationship, or living together gets a +1. The ONLY exception is the wedding party. We are giving them the option...it's the least we can do and I hardly think a "regular" guest would compain about it!

ARez726 · April 2010

Actually, a second exception, was a friend of mine from TX who won't know anyone else. Who knows if she will come, but I don't want her to have to travel alone. It's not like anyone else would know the difference anyway!

kikibird · April 2010

For single guests, we only gave +1's to single guests who would not know anyone else at the wedding.

Karen's MOH · April 2010

Meaganandmichael has it exactly right. You can make an exception for wedding party if you want, that's up to you.

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

I definitely think it is fine to make an exception for the WP. After all, look have much they have done for your day!

tropicanha · April 2010

I was always under the impression that someone single should be offered to bring a guest... no? I mean, aside from the size accommodation issue. Say if there is space for a "guest" in the hall, even with my single friends who could potentially scramble up a date to bring, it's not rude to not give them the option? Just curious as I'm trying to determine the final guest list soon.

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-cape-cod_need-allow-1-single-guests-dont-significant-others?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:94Discussion:8ff65bd8-e702-48e5-b978-428d82abcce0Post:fc02c950-898f-4670-90e3-911383f66eae">Re: Do I need to allow a +1 for my single guests (that dont have significant others)</a>:
[QUOTE]I was always under the impression that someone single should be offered to bring a guest... no? I mean, aside from the size accommodation issue. Say if there is space for a "guest" in the hall, even with my single friends who could potentially scramble up a date to bring, it's not rude to not give them the option? Just curious as I'm trying to determine the final guest list soon.
Posted by tropicanha[/QUOTE]

Ideally, absolutely! Give them a guest. If you can afford it and you have the space, why not? However, the issue is that etiquette dictates only the aforementioned people MUST be given plus ones.

CaitlinB516 · April 2010

We made a "six month rule." We have so many friends from college and high school coming so we decided that we give everyone that MeaghanandMichael mentioned, plus the wedding party guests if they want. But we said no guest for people that are single and no guest for people that have been dating their significant other for less than 6 months. Flavors of the month need not apply haha. I feel terrible for the people that might feel awkward but it's just so hard to accomodate everyone. I guess you have to remember that this day is for you.

Also, if you have a bunch of single friends coming without dates, some of them might hit it off!

Do I need to allow a +1 for my single guests (that dont have significant others)

Re: Do I need to allow a +1 for my single guests (that dont have significant others)

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