May 2012 Weddings

Disappointing RSVP

We had a disappointing RSVP yesterday. FFIL's GF.
They don't live together. They have an interesting relationship. She doesn't really like being out with large groups. They have been together 10+ years and most of his family have not met her.
So we sent her her own invitation and FFIL was certain she was coming. So sure that Thursday he told FI that yes she was coming. Then her RSVP arrives yesterday and she RSVPed no. She also called FFIL to tell him. I guess she was full of excuses "she doesnt like crowds" "he'll be too busy to be with her" and on and on
I purposely set up their table to not include most of FFIL's family... they can be overwhelming. I made sure to make it a table of people I thought she would be comfortable with. Not heavy drinkers, not big into swearing etc etc (including my Great Aunt and Uncle who are very 'proper').

Anyways the real kicker though is this... apparently a few years ago she had FFIL drive her to a coworker's daughter's wedding. By drive I mean take her there and pick her up... she did not bring him with her.
So she will go to a wedding for someone she barely knows, but not for her BF's son.
I was not really that surprised she said no. Even though I ordered her a coursage, I knew there was a chance I was cancelling that order. FI & FFIL were. She is a wondeful woman, but in 6 years FI and I have only seen her a handful of times.
I just feel bad for FFIL. He is very angry with her and I believe thinking of calling things off.

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Re: Disappointing RSVP

  • Oh man, I'm sorry she said no. I really don't like it when people give lame excuses. And not to come to her BF's son's wedding, but she can go to a strangers wedding? Weird. Just weird. We got our first no's the other day, but I expected this much from SIL's sister and father. They're like hermits. In fact, SIL's wedding was in St Thomas and it was a major feat to get them there, and then they almost didn't show up at the wedding because they were in their room!!

    But, I am sorry for your FFIL. Maybe she'll change her mind?
  • Sounds like a very awkward situation all around. I'm sorry that people are hurt by this woman's actions. I'm baffled by the whole thing where FIL drove her to a wedding but wasn't invited to attend with her. I would think if she has social anxiety that she would be MORE comfortable going in with a S/O or friend. Speaking as someone with social anxiety, I am always more willing to go somewhere or attend an event if I have someone to walk in with.

    It makes me wonder if maybe she doesn't want to be seen with FFIL? Maybe she has some reason for keeping him hidden or hiding their relationship?

    Hope your FFIL can come to terms and not let this ruin what should be an amazing day for everyone.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally
  • I am really sorry. It seems very strange she would go to a stranger's wedding, but not her BF's son,
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