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May 2012 Weddings

I'm trying not to think about this, but...

This still burns me, a month later, and I don't know why. On our wedding day, DH's cousin and FI were late to the ceremony. I was running behind schedule about 10 mins or so. When I came down the stairs to the main lobby of the hotel, I saw his cousin and FI walking in through the side door by the check in desk, like it didn't matter. I thought to myself "WTF! Are you kidding me?!" I put it out of my mind and continued about my day.

I just keep thinking how rude it was and that they would have missed the ceremony had I been on time. Or, would have walked in during the ceremony, which the coordinator probably wouldn't have allowed. They had no excuse, in my book, to be late. They had arrived to the island the day before and were already at the hotel. They didn't have to walk that far! I'm not sure why this is still burning me inside.

Also, the JP kind of ruined a part of the ceremony that was kind of important and symbolic to me. During the ring exchange, we had added in a bit about the e-ring. Well, he instructed DH to put the wedding ring on my finger. Then there was, what seemd like a super long pause, before he said the bit about the e-ring being a promise fullfilled, etc. There was NO need for a pause. I felt like the e-ring part was lost and didn't seem important. Both rings were on my finger before he went on with the e-ring part. This makes me a little upset, and if we could change one thing, we would have gotten someone else to do the ceremony.

Does anyone else have a situation, big or small, that happened that you can't seem to let go of?

Re: I'm trying not to think about this, but...

  • edited June 2012
    Maybe this isn't a small issue, but one of our readers did not come to the ceremony or reception.  We had a backup, but that's not the point.

    His wife had a baby 6 days prior to the wedding.  Mom & baby were healthy and at home the day of our wedding.  Our chapel is 10 minutes MAX from their house.  The ceremony was only 35 minutes.  He couldn't leave for an hour (while his wife had her mom and him mom there to help out) to come do the reading at our ceremony.  Really, really rubs me the wrong way.  Super nice guy, but just can be real inconsiderate at times and this time it's crossed the line for me.  We've been friends for 6 years, he lived with H during grad. school, and now this friend and I work together because I made the introduction & recommendation to my boss.

    I knew his wife was pregnant, and knew that it would be a possibility he wouldn't be able to come if she was having the baby.  But 6 DAYS later??  He could leave the house for 8 hours to go to work 3 days after our wedding, but he couldn't take an hour out of his day to do our reading?  I don't care, to me this is no excuse.  I'm trying to just forget about it but everytime I think about it, it just pisses me off.  It doesn't help that everyone who finds out he didn't show was also shocked and irritated on my behalf.

    Grrr.
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  • ugh! I'm so glad you mentioned this because I have to vent!!
    A couple weeks prior to the wedding, H's brother & gf got into a massive fight and broke up. He was then threatening to bring a different girl to the wedding as his date and she was saying she was coming anyways. I ended up telling her that unfortunately if they arent together she is no longer invited (since she's his plus one), but he in no means is allowed to bring a random girl as his date. I advised her that I will keep her seat in hopes they get back together (just to give her a warm fuzzy) Well my mistake! They weren't together, but she came anyways, and as expected they got into a massive fight. so bad that some hall staff that were outside and witnessed were about to call the COPS!! For whatever reason they didn't, and by the end of the night they were attached at the hips and grinding like they needed a room!!! When we went to the hall to give the final payment, it was so embarrassing for the manager to tell us this went on. H's family apparently knew about it but didn't want to tell us...
    Gee thanks!
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  • There were a few things that happened during our ceremony with our officient that were kind of annoying...

    She asked for the rings, then read about the importance of the rings, then went right into the e-ring part so DH just put both rings together at the same time...

    She was SUPPOSED to ask for the rings, then read about the important of the rings, then say Ryan will you place the ring on Amanda's finger and say... with this ring I thee wed... then have me do the same thing THEN discussthe e-ring and put that on.

    I guess it wasn't that big of a deal that it was at the same time... but I always envisioned just my wedding band going on my finger alone, then the e-ring. I also REALLY wanted to say "with this ring, I thee wed."

    The thing is, none of our guests noticed the mix up, our officient said that it was the best ceremony ever, as did many, many guests. Plus DH and I didn't know we didn't say "with this ring, I thee wed"  until days later when we were thinking about it. Our ceremony wasn't filmed so we will really never know exactly what happened, and I think if I watched it over and over it would definitely piss me off it was wrong.
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  • The thing I can't let go is this:
     There are a ton of politics at my office involving current and former employees (VERY long story) but I really respected and liked my former boss and decided to invite him.  I thought we were friends despite the mess with a lot of the other people.  Well, he and his wife didn't show up, even though they RSVPed yes (only true no shows).  I mentioned that I was surprised/sad to my former coworker who is friends with him.  Her reply: "yeah, I heard he wasn't coming.  I told him he should just come despite everything.  I mean it is free food and free booze."  Really?  Who says that to a bride on her wedding day?  I'm not sure what hurt me more: him not coming, or her blatantly letting me know she and her husband were there for a free night out.  (And, not that this matters, but she didn't bring a gift). 
  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited June 2012
    I just thought of another one when looking at my RD invite still on our fridge...

    It says 8:00 Drinks at the bar *
                8:30 Sit down for dinner

    *cash bar

    Now the cash bar part is so tacky (FIL's SIL made them, FIL and MIL hosted), but I thought it was suggesting guests arrive at the bar to mingle and have drinks on your own dime and then be seated for dinner and order whatever you want for a drink...

    On the day before our wedding for the R and RD I was still incredibly hungover from the night before so I was kind of out of it ish... but at dinner guests kept going to the bar to get drinks and I was so confused...  I think I asked DH what that was about, but I really don't remember what he said...

    The number for our RD grew when MIL found out it was much cheaper than she thought per plate, but then she called a few months before our wedding mentioning something about having to pay for guests drinks to which DH replied, "um duh mom, you don't host a dinner and then make guests pay for their own drinks"...

    In the end it seems guests paid for their own drinks, at least alcoholic ones... it was also incredibly annoying that MIL kept coming over to DH and asking him to go to the bar to get FIL a drink... annoying... luckily DH wasn't paying for it...

    What really pisses me off is that (A) It's rude to invite people to a hosted event and make them pay for drinks (B) I really don't even know how it became known to the guests that they had to go to the bar to get a drink (C) MIL asked DH if this was okay and he said no, but she did it anyway (D) I am slightly embarrassed that MIL and FIL made our guests do that, I know people from my side that were there had a conversation about it afterwards...

    I am definitely going to ask DH WTF was that about....

    I think I have let the officient's slip up go, but this... I think will forever piss me off.
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  • DH and I didn't want to deal with a seating chart so we paid extra for a buffet.  My mom decided with two weeks to go that we needed a seating chart.  I tried to tell her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted and I made it her problem if she wanted it that bad.  DH thought I should have fought it more, but I didn't bother.  The day of the wedding, nobody followed my mom's seating chart (of course not), and she yelled at our Best Man's wife and Groomsman's fiancee for sitting at the reserved table.  They moved, even though they are exactly who the reserved table was for, and instead an old coworker of DH (who was invited to the wedding days before the bachelor party) and his date (a complete stranger) took their seats at the reserved table.  I was SO PISSED to find out my mom had been so f*cking rude to important people and that they were offended.  My mom was seriously out of control that day.
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  • I have a few things, too...

    The photographer messed up our first look, so it totally didn't have the effect it was supposed to. I told her numerous times we wanted to see eachother from about 10 feet away, so that we could see eachother's expressions, but also the whole outfit. Well, she had us turn around and walk toward eachother from about 100 feet away. Can you see someone's face from that far away? I think not. So it completely lost the magic.

    This is minor: our officiant screwed up my maternal grandfather's name. I felt terrible for my mom.

    Here's the biggie: FI's two cousins just didn't feel like showing up. They had both RSVPed and one (the 19-year-old) flaked. The 26-year-old had NO f*king excuse. I flew up from four states away to attend her wedding five years ago, and FI and I had only been dating for about eight months! She couldn't drive four hours to attend our wedding. Her husband ended up having the weekend off, so she just decided to stay at home and hang out with him at the pool. All day she posted on FB what she was doing, and had the nerve to write on both of our walls "congratulations." I want to send both his cousins a bill for their $60 meal that we paid for. Almost no one from his mother's side of the family came, it was so crappy. And these two were just selfish and ridiculous.

    OK, end vent.
  • I too have a few issues:

    1 which bothered me the most. H's best man missed the entire reception and never gave his speech. His son who was one of our ring bearer's and best mans mom missed the ceremony because his son was sick. After the ceremony he said he was going to run by and check on him and then come to the reception. I said fine because they live like 2 min from the church. He never showed up to the reception even though his son was better. He lives in Wyoming and we are in Louisiana we saw him 3 times the whole 2 weeks he was in town and the whole reason he was in was for our wedding. Not to mention he showed up to the RD when everyone was leaving. And the whole day of the wedding he was in a pissy mood.


    Another thing is all of H's parents left within an hour of the reception starting. MIL stayed long enough to do her dance with H and see us cut the cake. She wasn't feeling her best but I feel like she could have just stayed seated and still enjoyed everything. Also since BIL drove her they had to leave too. MIL's family never spoke to us and then I found out after we got back from our honeymoon that her family is/was mad at me because I didn't speak to them at the wedding but I never saw them. They sat in the back of the room and never left that table other than for food. They spoke to no one who wasn't at their table. We never even saw them leave.
  • I almost forgot....

    I expressly told the DJ how I wanted our entrance done. He knew the song to play (Footloose) and asked him to fade it into our first dance as soon as we got to the dance floor. Well, he didn't do that. He must have played the entrance song for well over a minute and I had to signal him to stop and go to our first dance. I felt foolish and kind of mad because it took the effect away from our first dance. And we spent good money on dance lessons! Then I had to signal him to stop again so we could move onto the father/daughter dance. The rest of the night he played great music. But it annoyed me he didn't do the ONE thing I asked him to do a specific way because we had something planned.

    Atleast he played a Michael Jackson montage of like 10 songs.
  • Mine are pretty minor.

    1: Guests got to the venue early and it was warm so MIL let them get drinks.. but they got beers (not just water) so a few people were drinking during my ceremony. Luckily they only made it into a few pictures.

    2: Someone put one of the baskets I had gotten for the bathrooms on the side of the fireplace we decorated so that decor shot looks stupid.
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  • Ok here's mine even though I may on the side of error here:

    Our first dance song was "Come What May" from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Now, there are 2 versions of this song and when I filled out the online form of songs for our DJ I wondered if the song he had in his library was the correct one. So I tried to listen to it and I thought it was. And I figured it would be since it's the more danceable one.

    Well, when it came time (and by the way, H and I practiced moves for this dance, even though we didn't complete it and were just going to wing the last half of it), the music started and H and I walked out to the floor. And we both realized it was the wrong version of the song. Well, I decided to just go with it and instead of actually "dancing" like we rehearsed, we swayed back and forth, which I really did not wanna do. I wanted to be an elegant dancer for one night and it didn't get to happen. So, that's the one thing I regret. Oh, and also, if I had thought about it, I realized I had the version of the song on a cd out in my car and could have ran out to get it but I didn't want to hold everything up. *sigh* o well.
  • my only thing was probably late guests too... I like to be on time, and everyone knows it (lots of people said to me after "I wanted to make sure I was there early, because I thought to myself, if anyone would start their wedding on time, you would") - very considerate! We got there precisely on time so that it would actually START a few mins late, but I was there on time... so I'm waiting in the car as people walk by to go in, and it seems to trickle down, so I decide we're going to go inside and just hide behind a nook somewhere so that I'm at least in the building and ready to go..

    so I get out of the car and open the church door to go in, and virtually all our guests are mingling in the main entrance way outside the sanctuary! i was like seriously? go in and take a seat... chat later, I want to get married here! So I stand outside and wait it out (yay for awesome weather!) while more late comers walk past me....

    I figured some people would see me before the walk down the aisle, but I figured they'd at least go to their seats immediately by 11am and not still be mingling!

    that's the only thing
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  • We did traditional vows, and the part that I was supposed to repeat after the Pastor, the Pastor skipped!!! He had my husband repeat first, and honey messed up the words at the end. Then my turn came, and the Pastor simply read it all off and asked if I agree instead of having me repeat as well. Was he afraid I'd mess up too? I know he was pressed for time since I was late, so I didn't say anything. It's been driving me nuts though!! I wanted to say my vows, not just agree to it. Is our marriage still valid? Lol. I've honestly thought of asking my Pastor to do the ceremony again, in private, just for my own sanity. We'll see.

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