Shower/Bachlorette Party Guests

Re: Shower/Bachlorette Party Guests

• waltzingmatilda13 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Why do you have a WP if you're having a small, family only wedding? Are these people family members? 

  
  

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• rhodewl

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  One is a family member and the others are very close friends. We want only the people who are the closest to us there for the wedding. And our extended famlies are so large, it is hard to include everyone with our small budget.

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• waltzingmatilda13 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Well that's not exactly the definition of a family only ceremony. The most expensive part of a wedding is the reception anyways, so this doesn't make any sense at all. I would reconsider having the small ceremony and invite everyone to both events. Your extended family may be very hurt to learn that you invited friends and not flesh and blood to witness your vows. 

  
  

  But to answer your original question, you need to decline all showers and b-parties. Everyone invited to those parties would need to be invited to the wedding ceremony also because, as you stated, it looks like they are good enough to give you a gift and not actually see you get married. I also feel this way about about your ceremony and separate reception. Your extended family is good enough to come celebrate (and probably bring you a gift) but not actually see you get married, but your friends are. 

  
  

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• morenachica110 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showerbachlorette-party-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:82e4d531-18bc-49be-8ce3-8bb51e854d69Post:f89f8406-865c-4bf5-9ea9-9c8b2281c46d">Re: Shower/Bachlorette Party Guests</a>:
  [QUOTE]Well that's not exactly the definition of a family only ceremony. The most expensive part of a wedding is the reception anyways, so this doesn't make any sense at all. I would reconsider having the small ceremony and invite everyone to both events. <strong>Your extended family may be very hurt to learn that you invited friends and not flesh and blood to witness your vows.</strong>  But to answer your original question, you need to decline all showers and b-parties. Everyone invited to those parties would need to be invited to the wedding ceremony also because, as you stated, it looks like they are good enough to give you a gift and not actually see you get married. I also feel this way about about your ceremony and separate reception. Your extended family is good enough to come celebrate (and probably bring you a gift) but not actually see you get married, but your friends are. 
  Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>I don't really agree with the bolded part. The friends were are inviting are closer to us than our extended family (as you mentioned extended family). The people we aren't inviting probably couldn't guess within 5 years my age or even pronounce my name correctly. I don't agree with inviting certain family over friends if you aren't even remotely close to them.</div><div>
  </div><div>But to the original question OP, I don't think you have to scrap parties al together (unless you really don't want any) but tell your WP/friends/whoever is hosting that only people coming to the wedding should be invited.
  
  </div>

  
  
  9-22-12
  http://rusticweddingsc.weebly.com/

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• morenachica110 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Edit: It won't let me edit so I'm going to say this here: I re-read and realized that you're inviting to the reception and not ceremony which is very weird. Just invite them all to your ceremony. The reception is a thank you for coming to the ceremony and it doesn't really cost much (if anything) to have them at the ceremony. Just invite them to both.

  
  

  Sorry for confusion 

  
  
  9-22-12
  http://rusticweddingsc.weebly.com/

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• rhodewl

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks ladies for your Responses! I dont think I made myself completly clear with my posting. We are having a very nice, small ceremoney followed by a brunch. These events are a little pricy but it is what we want. We want to share this special time with the people that are closest to us and who would remember and appreciate it. We are than having a casual reception later in the evening at a relitives house. This kind of even is common in our area. This way we can spend time with everyone. I realize that there might be a few feelings hurt but with our budget, we cannot afford to go into debt to have everyone at every event.

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• maxjury14 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I think that is absolutely fine.  They are two very separate events.  I also think the people that most impact your life and make you who you are are your FRIENDS and close family.  Most of my extended family only sees each other once every 6 years or so and we don't know a thing about each other.  Invite who you love and want to celebrate your special day with!  Have fun!

  
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